Thanks to all who let me know my link didn't work!

http://www.mysandwichlife.blogspot.com


I'm not sure why it won't let me put in the link. If you don't mind cutting and pasting, this is the name of our new blog.

Please continue on our journey with our new blog!

For a number of reasons, I will no longer be posting to this blog. Our lives have continued to change and I thought I would shift the focus just a little to our lives in general.

My new blog is call , referring to those of us in the "sandwich generation", raising kids, while caring for our parents.

I really don't have to care for my parents and think they end up caring for us, but thought this was a good name for our lives.

Hope you will make the switch and subscribe to our new blog!

Going off line for a while

Just to let you know, I will be going off line for a while and the blog will not be available for viewing.

Please email me if you have any questions!
Jerri

Summer is here!

Although school was officially out last Wednesday, it feels like summer vacation just started this week!

Last week I was in the midst of the last minute planning for our largest event of the year, our Pink Ribbon Tea Party. We were expecting over 400 women of all ages, which requires a LOT of planning. What an understatement! Plus having been out for the almost 2 weeks prior due to surgery I had not been carrying my share of the work!

So while the girls had to entertain themselves, basically, I tried to do what I could to help ensure success by Saturday.

Part of it was coordinating children to be in our fashion show.

Handy that I had to "willing" models.

So on Wednesday as soon as school was over, FINALLY!, we made our way to the Cozy Cottage at the Bishop Arts District and found VERY cute outfits for each to wear.

I was determined to have some sort of celebration for the end of the year, so first we stopped at Dicho's for one of Cretia's fantastic cupcakes. Grace has figured out that too much sugar is not good for her, so she turned down a cupcake. Annabel was all for a cookie, only. Hard to live vicariously if they won't comply with all I want to eat :)!

We ended up at Bolsa to buy a gift certificate for our fantastic emcee, Chris Arnold, of the Dallas Mavericks, and decided to stay there for dinner. It was such fun eating something different and enjoying eating outside. They make the BEST flatbread pizzas. Annabel opted for the soup, which was tomato. I asked several times since I could not remember her ever eating tomato soup.

When the soup arrived, she looked at it strangely, tasted it, looked again, tasted it. I knew something was wrong. Finally it came to me that she thought it was POTATO, not TOMATO! She ate it anyway!

I don't remember Thursday. I'm sure it was a great day, just kind of blank tonight!

Friday Mom and Dad wanted to take everyone out to eat to celebrate the end of school. Only responsibility dictated that we visit the funeral home due to a sweet family from church's losing their mother. So our celebratory dinner was at Braums!

Saturday was taken up with the tea party. Thank goodness I have Mom and Dad to run the girls around for me! They did beautifully in the fashion show, the tea party went off without a hitch, and we got to see Aunt Lisa for about 24 hours! She came to take pictures of the tea party so I could see what all I missed!

Thank goodness we have a great group that shares info on events in the area and I found a soccer camp, just up the street for only $30 each! So Monday morning the girls started soccer camp and have been having a great time ever since.

Grace told me tonight though, that every time they break into teams, that she is always the last one chosen. Oh dear! I have tried to explain to both that they have had NO experience playing soccer so how would they be expected to be the best? Yea, it sounds good, but we know it hurts!

On Monday I also found a swimming class at the local YMCA that started that night and had openings for both of their level of ability. Plus it was only $55 per child! So we start off each day at soccer camp, Mom and Dad pick them up at noon. I come running home and we run off to swim class at 6:00!

I don't think I realized that Grace can swim so well! She amazes me at how far she can go. Annabel is still struggling to feel secure jumping off the side into the pool, but each day she ventures out a little more. The teachers are excellent and really take the kids from their comfort level to pushing them further than they thought they could go!

So far they have not had a chance to get bored I don't think!

Even better, starting next week they get to go to the art camp that Marcie is teaching at! And it is FREE!!!!

I have been determined for us to take a vacation this year. For the last 5 years my trips have been centered around 2 to China, which could never be described as a vacation! First I looked at us driving somewhere and realized that Florida is at least 2 days away, with a hotel stay and meals, and me arriving exhausted, it just didn't seem like a good fit. Then Lisa thought we should go to Atlanta to see the pandas. Same thing. It is just too much for me this summer to try to go that far after 2 surgeries in 2 months.

So I have really shocked myself in making reservations for us to go to Cancun! 5 days and 4 nights, with a whole program just for kids! Hopefully there is plenty for the girls to do and I will get some down time! I cannot wait!

One more day!

School will end this year tomorrow.

It absolutely could not come too soon for me.

But my daughters have continued to prove their resiliency.

Today was the Awards Assembly and Mom and I were in the audience to cheer on our girls.

Each won so many awards. I was so proud. Annabel won awards for participating in gym, her "Best in Show" for her art project, and Most Improved, among others.

For Grace it soon became the "Grace Show" according to her teacher for receiving so many awards. They finally handed her a sack to hold all of them! She got awards for her outstanding work on the Hoops for Heart fundraiser, the amount of books she read, and then her academic proficiency.

It was really hard to sit still and not say something to the girls who had tortured Annabel all year, but of course I controlled myself!

Sunday was Grace's piano recital.

She was so nervous and concerned about trying to play without her music. I convinced her that it would be fine and was so relieved when others also used their music. I just wish everyone could have heard how beautifully she played it at home, with the dynamics where they belonged and the emotion woven into the piece.

Sunday night Grace decided she would sew an outfit for Ollie, the dog, and in between teach Annabel how to play the piano. I LOVE when they work on things together so they got to stay up later than usual. The outfit was pretty funny on Ollie. Annabel decided it was a shirt for him to play basketball in.

Tonight Annabel had a new piece that Grace was teaching her, but instead picked out part of Beethoven's V Symphony instead.

Last night we had to go to Hobby Lobby to pick up some things for my job. While there we were looking around, there was a display of crosses. Annabel said to me that she knew I liked them. Yes, I have a collection of some really pretty crosses. She told me she knew why, because Jesus died on the cross.
They never cease to amaze me.

The tooth fairy calling!

This recovery is taking too long!

My girls have been so sweet trying to take care of me, but they need attention and I am ready to move it from me to them.

Still not up to speed yet, so want to make a quick post.

This week on our way to karate the discussion of the tooth fairy came up again.

One night recently Grace got up and pulled her own tooth without even telling me! Then she went into the kitchen and got some salt to gargle with to make it stop bleeding! Her explanation was that it hurt, so she pulled it!

So if you have read my blog for any time, you know I am the most errant tooth fairy in the world and the discussion of whether the tooth fairy would come was up for discussion.

Annabel and Grace have decided that the Easter bunny and tooth fairy are not real.

As far as Santa, Annabel thinks that she is not too sure on that one yet!

I really never meant for them to believe in these things so I had always kind of did a soft sell on each, but I guess that is just a rite of childhood to believe in these "gift givers"!

Grace actually received money from the tooth fairy on the first night!

Slowly recovering

This is surely the longest between posts in a while! I still feel like I have anesthetic related amnesia or something. I know there has been lots of research on this topic and some poo poo the idea, but to me it seems very real. Plus the whole trauma of going through surgery, not just on me, but on my family.

So even though it has been a long time, this will still be a short post.

This morning Annabel and I work up early, well early considering it was a holiday.

Penney's has some clothes on sale that the girls must have so we planned to go early and hope that I can last that long.

First Grace came in showing me her tank top was almost as long as her shorts.

Then Annabel came in wearing jeans, a long sleeve Christmas shirt, and a coat.

My yin and my yang.

Pollinating your ice cream!

Picture this:

We are driving home from the Chinese market, right at twilight, when traffic seems to be the worst, and I am juggling an ice cream cone, swerving to avoid sudden stops on the freeway, when Grace asks:

"Mom, is ice cream pollinated by air?"

HUH???

She continues, " Ms. Dunham told me that everything is pollinated either by air, bees, or something else that I can't remember. So is ice cream pollinated by air?"

I got an immediate vision of a beautiful pasture with ice cream cones populating the field like wild flowers and started laughing so hard I was afraid I would crash!

We went on to Annabel wanting to know if ice cream was made out of ice or cream or what.

I'm not sure that Grace understood or was convinced that neither ice cream cones or milk are pollinated by wind.

We have had such a great weekend, it is hard to see it end.

Saturday started with breakfast at Applebee's for a fund raiser breakfast for a friend's baseball team. Although Annabel was intent on not liking the pancakes, she ended up eating all of them, as well as the sausage. The rest of us knew we liked pancakes and sausages.

Annabel is going through a stage of not liking foods that she has been eating and not understanding the English words I know she uses and knows.

I remember Grace going through a similar stage about the time I thought she was getting comfortable here. Maybe they finally get comfortable enough to make more choices for themselves!

The rain that was supposed to end by noon kept on all day, so this limited outdoor activities, especially the new basketball hoop!

Late in the afternoon we headed to the Chinese market to stock up on noodles and look for any other delicacies. I think I am feeling guilty about being laid up again for a few weeks and wanting to make sure they have their favorite things. Plus it will make it easy on me to have plenty of noodles on hand!

We can spend a LOT of time looking through all the aisles in the Chinese market and always wish I had a guide to help me know what to buy and how to prepare it. More than one time the girls decided they missed a certain food but that I would not know how to cook it! I think they remember the noodles that I tried to prepare and they ended up molding before I could figure out how to cook them!

We toured through most of the other shops and stumbled on 2 books in Chinese that Annabel thought she would like, Little Women and a comic story she remembered. It is so difficult to find anything in Chinese that is appropriate for her age. We bought quite a few in China, but now wish I could fill up a whole suitcase full for her.

Since we had not had Chinese food in a while I was determined to remember which restaurant along the row was supposed to be the best. I think I found it since there was a wait to get in and the menu was written in Chinese so Annabel could recognize some things she was really hungry for! They ended up having spicy seaweed, some noodle dish, and then steamed dumplings. The dish I ordered for myself came with rice covered in a hamburger looking meat, with 2 varieties of green things on either side. I soon lost my dish too! That was just what they LOVED!!! Most people left with doggie bags, but we ate everything except my pork chop! The dogs enjoyed it for breakfast today.

As rainy as it was yesterday, the opposite was true today! It was a fantastic, glorious day. Dad had mentioned trimming our tree on the parkway since it is brush pick up week. With all of us involved in trimming the tree it made it a good time until I broke Dad's chainsaw! He creatively repaired it and we completed the job.

A friend had given the girls a basketball hoop and they had a great time with it today! They do very well and made up their own games, laughing and shooting baskets all afternoon. It isn't a standard size hoop, but it didn't affect the fun! Maybe it made it better since they could make a lot of baskets. I keep thinking I should find a basketball camp for them this summer, but the ones I found are very expensive! Over $300 each sounds like way too much just to learn about basketball!

Annabel continues to change, sometimes subtle and sometimes dramatic. Today was the first day that she wanted to sit by me at church. We were also discussing whether I would need to be in the hospital 2 or 3 days, and she said she just hopes that I will stay until I feel better and can come home.

There are only 2 1/2 weeks of school and I hope that Annabel can find some relief for the last few days. They had hoped to have her "help" with one of the kindergarten classes, but last week it was storming during the assigned time.

Ups and downs

This has been one of those weeks where Annabel has had more ups and downs than anyone deserves.

At the end, I have felt like she was intent on doing one of the two things:

Proving to me that she is unlovable, unworthy, unwanted

or

So disappointed in me for believing her teacher over her that she is having trouble dealing with it.

Since our first weeks together, Annabel has settled into a pretty easy routine. There has been no acting out, shouting, screaming, like I read from other adoptive families. Instead misbehavior has usually because she did not understand, not purposely trying to cause problems.

But this week we have both struggled with the repercussions of the meeting I had with the teachers, principals, and counselors this week.

Each day we have struggled with minor incidences becoming major problems.

Tonight we came home from eating out with Mom and Dad, with a little shopping at the end.

She was so quiet and just at odds with herself.

She finally told me that she was filling sick to her stomach.

After a dose of tums, she was back to herself and full of talk and fun.

But each day there has been a little something that just did not set well with her.

I have told her over and over this week that I am here for ever as her mother. No more changes and no matter what has happened in the past, I am not that person. That doing something wrong does not make you a bad person.

She has also refused any compliments, but I did feel good that she came running back for her good bye kiss one morning!

In the meantime, Grace has been attending a human development class. Annabel forgot to bring her permission slip home, so she has been excluded from the class.

This must be the MOST thorough discussion on this topic, only not every thing is completely understood, so every day we are making sure that EVERYTHING is understood! BUT I am thankful I had checked a book out of the library because I wanted to make sure I got it all right and keep the lines open for more discussion when needed!Whew!

I told Grace that Mom had never really discussed all of these things with me, so now I think she has decided she will teach Mom. She has been making her sit down with her and she shares what she learned!

I've continued having problems keeping food down and so the doctor has moved the rest of my surgery up sooner than I wanted. I dread going through that again and don't want to upset our usual routine, but will be glad to finally get it completed.

We are looking forward to the weekend. First thing tomorrow is a pancake breakfast! Yum!

She said, she said...

Sometimes I am a little slow to learn.

My day started with a meeting with teachers, counselors, and the principal regarding Annabel's school progress. The sole purpose was to show me how much they have done for Annabel.

The meeting started with the principal reading a list of things I was supposed to have said at our last meeting. I don't remember everything I said at the last meeting, but can almost guarantee that I did not say they ignored her or made her play on the computer for hours on end.

Actually I had very few problems with the way these 2 teachers had handled things, as I had said over and over again. My problem was with the other teacher, who again "missed" our meeting. He has not been to a single meeting that has been scheduled for Annabel.

And the other problem was a LACK of resources available for the teachers to help Annabel. 30 minutes of personalized attention just doesn't seem like enough.

They reported that when Annabel did not want to do something last week that she threw herself down on the floor crying and throwing a fit.

Just not a behavior I have seen, but I rarely let it get to the point where a fit needs to be thrown either.

They also reported that she NEEDS a LOT of attention. Hmmm, Annabel?

Then they told how she had not been required to sign the behavior log even though she did behaviors similar to others that were required to sign it, but they were afraid she would "throw a fit", so they had decided to make allowances for the cultural differences.

Oh my goodness! Now how is that a help?

So my daughter who is NEEDING so much attention but when she misbehaves you allow it?

I was glad there were counselors there to back me up on the assumption that not signing this log still separates her and makes her "different", a HUGE issue for her.

From one of my earliest contacts with the teachers and principals, I urged them to apply consistent discipline for her as the rest of the class, AFTER she learned what the rules were. She should not be treated differently and exempted when she clearly breaks the rules, like getting out of her seat, requiring "personalized" explanations of assignments.

The counselors wanted to talk further and sign release forms. One counselor will meet with her on peer relations, meaning, face the kids who have been bullying her. The other wanted to provide an ego boost for her, taking her to the lower grades and having her help out in a kindergarten class.

Both ideas are great.

When I finally got home and we sat down to eat, I asked a few questions about what goes on in the classroom. She admitted to jumping up and down a lot during classes, wanted special attention from the teachers, and crying.

BUT when asked if she had thrown a fit and gotten down on the floor, she insisted she did not.

She was very hurt that I believed them and not her. Grace came out and talked to me and said that if Annabel had behaved the way the teachers said she did, she would have known. Whether she would have seen it or not, the kids would still have been talking about it. Good point, Grace!

We talked in detail about her behavior in class.

Here is where I just don't seem to learn.

I told her that if she gets out of her seat, she will have to sign the behavior log, and if she signs it 3 times, and gets suspended, now here is where I got really stupid; I told her that I would take away all electronics for 6 months. No effect. I would take away karate. No effect. I went silly then trying to find her Achilles' heel, but there isn't one.

There is nothing you can TAKE away from her that would have an impact, as this is what has always happened in her life.

People have come in and taken away her clothes, her home and foster parents she knew, her group home and friends, literally she is more familiar with people taking everything away rather than receiving things.

It hit me while we were at karate.

This is not the way to reinforce the behavior she needs to conform to.

We had time to talk again, and I told her I would not TAKE AWAY, but I would ADD TO. If she gets in trouble, then she will need to read more and do workbook problems for 2 hours! Boy she hates that idea.

I am so glad there is only a short amount of time left for this school year. She was finally removed from the teacher's class where the problems seem to stem from, but today they were trying to put her back into it. Their take on what happens in his class is that he is not loud in stopping behavior like bullying like they do. She told me again tonight that he did not stop the kids when they start saying mean things to her. I believe her perception on this is what counts!