Momma, ear hao tong!

Just when you think you have a good routine going, the morning does not start the way you planned.

Annabel wanted to tell me privately, in the bathroom, that her ear, "hao tong". I knew this wasn't going to be good because she never complains about pain and for some reason wanted it told in private. I could tell by looking at her eyes that she did not feel well.

Someone else commented about the high tolerance of pain these children have. I know that is true. The idea that she is telling me her ear hurts in private and knowing that I probably would have been incapacitated with her level of pain, makes me wonder how these situations were handled in China. Maybe they were told not to complain. Maybe it did not help any to complain, so why say anything. I am not sure if I will ever know.

The doctor confirmed an ear infection and prescribed antibiotics and ear drops.

I wanted to beg him to just give me a huge shot so I did not have to give her the medicine! I immediately had horrible flashbacks of the one time I put drops in her ears in China and the immediate intense pain she experienced. Hao Tong!! I had already tried to get her to take a tylenol or advil for the pain. She refused, so I had sent her to school with cotton in her ear. When the doctor saw the cotton he looked confused. I shrugged my shoulders and told him I didn't know what else to do to help with the pain. It had seemed to comfort her.

While getting the prescriptions filled, she and Grace checked out all the hair doo dads by the pharmacy. With her hair growing out, and seeing all that Grace has, she was really wishing for some new things for her hair. So far she only had the set that Mom and Dad got her for her "birthday party".

She had no idea, but I would have been willing to buy anything recognizing her pain level, knowing she was facing stinky medicine, AND ear drops.

Her bottle of antibiotics is at least twice as large as Grace's. Grace's is strawberry flavored. Hers is just bad flavored. It was supposed to be banana, but smells more like baby aspirin. To add a flavor meant waiting on the doctor to approve. Instead we opted for gum and skittles to take the taste out of her mouth. I don't do a good job of pretending like it doesn't stink.

Later we walked up to the dollar store for more hair doo dads and a small water bottle to have with her lunch. She is so aware of costs, that she only chose some that cost $1 and then insisted that I have one of the headbands. My hair is so short there isn't enough to use anything else.

It was also National Night Out and there was a big celebration at the hospital. She knows I work at the hospital, but not sure what I do, but that's ok. I was never sure what my dad did either.

The term National Night Out was useless to try to translate, so we just called it a party.

The girls had so much fun. I was concerned that noise level would hurt her ears, but she was intent on getting one of every little goodie the vendors had, each being more "special" than the last. She now has a bag full of stickers, pencils, flashlights, and rulers that is probably under her pillow.

I don't think I have mentioned her pillow and bed in a while.

Training for adoption, especially a child from an orphanage, you are warned about the child hoarding food. Usually you will find stashes of it in their bedrooms, because they have experienced such deep levels of hunger. Grace has never hoarded food. Hers has always been pencils and book marks. She has a box that is about 12 x 18 that is at least 2" deep in pencils. The bookmarks are not as easy to contain. The best part? She never has a pencil. The pencils in the box are sacred and not to be used!

Annabel keeps everything anyone gives her. But she keeps it all under her pillow! I had them take off their sheets last week to be washed. Underneath Annabel's pillow were a school uniform, pair of pajamas, a pencil, a bookmark, a card, and a whole stash of odds and ends. She rarely lets me glimpse into this very personal stash.

Her surgery is scheduled for October 30. I hope the ear will heal enough to have the surgery. More later on this.

How much fun is this??!!!

My longtime friend Denise was in town for a conference. She met us for lunch and definitely knows what girls like. She brought the girls lip glosses, toiletries, and a gift card to Build a Bear workshop.

That gift card was burning a hole in Grace's pocket. Annabel wasn't sure what it meant. She understood that it was something like money though.

We walked into Build a Bear and I said out loud, I wonder how I can explain this to someone who speaks Chinese. They actually had the explanation written in Chinese! Annabel read it and then shouted "Woo! Hoo!"

Grace knew the drill and immediately began to agonize over what animal she should pick. I think she worries about all the ones that get left behind.

Annabel wanted the largest dog, but Grace explained she would not have money for clothes, so she immediately went for the cheapest!

They both had such a great time. Annabel decided the best accessory for her dog was a carrier that would allow her to have her dog, like a baby, facing her. She treated it like a real baby.

Here at the dog wash!

The plan was to take the dogs to the groomer. Annabel decided we should wash the dogs instead. Here is Annabel with "her" dog, Nina.

I'm not sure if Nina enjoyed it as much as Annabel! Next it was Ollie's turn, who right now is Grace's dog.

He tried to hide, but it didn't work! He looks rather possessed!
Nina and Annabel bonding!
Ollie takes longer and gets distracted often during the bath!
Ollie, not sure if the bath was worth the effort on his part!

Catching up on some details

Annabel has decided she wants to take her lunch.

She told me that when she buys her lunch, she is SO HUNGRY! (Someone asked me if she really says all of that. In a way, yes. Between English and acting out, I know what she means. Besides, hungry is a recurrent theme.)

Her peng (pon yo), friend, takes hers so Annabel wanted to as well.

The first couple of days we had leftover chicken, which was just what she wanted.

I thought she would get tired of it so did not plan anything the third day.

But she was insistent on taking her lunch.

Since we had no chicken, she toasted a piece of bread, put it in a baggie, put some fruit in and seemed dismayed at the small meal she had. I showed her how to roll up some ham and have without the bread. That was all the encouragement she needed.

Now every morning she toasts a couple of pieces of bread (no butter), puts them in a baggie while they are warm (which I am going to guess makes them sweat), puts ham in a separate baggie, adds fruit, and chips or crackers. It is the strangest meal, but seems to do the trick.

Mom made goulash tonight, which is basically noodles, ground beef, and tomatoes. Annabel LOVES this meal so much, she is taking the leftovers to school. No, there is no microwave! Yuck!

Chinese school is going very well. Her teacher always takes the time to tell me how smart she is. Grace's class is below her level and they are working on numbers and colors. At least she is still attending!

We still do not have an appointment for the ear surgery. I tried calling once, but they said I needed to give the process more time as far as insurance, etc.

Annabel has learned so much English so quickly, she amazed me this morning with mostly English. Right before we left for China, I bought a table to have in the kitchen. The three of us have so many great times sitting around this table, talking, eating, learning. I am so glad for these interactions. They are priceless.

Grace and Annabel get along so well. The similarity in their backgrounds seems to be an important part in their relationship. They both have their Jiangxi Mommas and Bobbas that they miss, along with friends and others they have left behind.

Here at the dog wash!

Annabel decided the dogs needed a bath. I planned to take them to the groomer, but thought this might be more fun. This is Annabel with "her" dog, Nina. Can't you see how much Nina is LOVING the attention?

Now it was Ollie's turn. I don't know how to edit this so he doesn't look possessed! Nothing but joy on this dog's face!

Close up of the love on Nina's face! Actually you can see the joy on Annabel's and that is what matters. The dogs suffered through pretty well. Afterward they had plenty of time to roll around in the back yard!

Ollie still looks possessed!

Catching up with accompaniment

Rarely do I have time to read the newspaper or watch the news, so I get most of my news from the Internet. Not some crazy site, just off of Dallas News or Yahoo.

Tonight I glanced at the headline of how Lehman Brothers' execs had ensured their top brass would have millions as they came to the government with their hand out.

These stories have frustrated me so much recently, as I fret and worry about the future, making decisions about whether we can eat out, paying off the last of Grace's eye surgery, facing new bills for Annabel, while others are taking advantage of those of us who work.

But and this is a giant BUT, I doubt they can feel the sense of joy and contentment I can feel sitting here typing away while accompanied by Grace practicing the piano, Annabel with her chair pulled as close as she can to Grace, and Annabel wanting me to label each piece that Grace plays as PERFECT!! And demanding to know when I label a piece as good or very good, but not perfect.

While the story of the milk in China might have had very little coverage here, it has made a deep impact in our household. While in China, Grace found her ABSOLUTELY FAVORITE Chinese milk. Don't ask me what it is as the label is all in Chinese. I guess it is a yogurty/milk thing.

In one suitcase, which I bought there, I packed the entire thing with food I knew we could not find here, this milk (that requires no refrigeration), assorted candies, anything we could find to help Annabel's first few days not be so traumatic. I shudder to think about how Grace felt those first weeks home.

Since we have been home, we have searched EVERY Asian market for some of these items as we ran out. Our area of Dallas has NO Asian markets. The Chinese restaurants are not even owned by anyone close to Asian descent.

With the gas, time, and money invested, we had a good supply of these favorites.

Now I am learning more and more about the Chinese milk "scandal" and realize that ALL that we have on hand is suspect. The products contain melamine. They cause huge kidney stones. They have killed an undetermined number of children in China. How can someone be so greedy to hurt children?

OK, enough musings. The next post or previous, depending on how they show up, will be back to my girls!

My Jiangxi mother

Annabel has reached a place that I remember Grace went through too.

We have been home less than 2 months, but there are so many new memories crowding in and new people and experiences, that the life in Jiangxi is harder to keep on top.

Today we were discussing how some older people begin to shake. She told me her Jiangxi mother was 90 and Jiangxi father was 102 and neither shook! I met these people and neither were anywhere near that age. But she needed them to be able to overcome some of the issues from living in America.

Later we went to a garage sale and she chose a basketball. It cost $5.

She told us that her Jiangxi mother had bought her one that cost $8.

I told her that her grandfather could help her learn to play basketball.

I can't even remember how we began to talk about people's strength, but she knew her Jiangxi father was strong, stronger than Poppa. Grace argued with her that Poppa was stronger. She was very disappointed in that. I told her she was strong.

No, she did not want to be strong if her Jiangxi father was not strong. I told her she and her Jiangxi father were strong. That seemed to help.

Grace and I will talk about this more to help her understand the importance of preserving these memories in Annabel's heart and mind. These "parents" need to kept in a special place in her memory.

Mom - my (insert spiral motion here) hao tong!

Our days are filled with Annabel incorporating more and more English into our conversations. I don't think she has realized the level of understanding she has achieved and at times reverts to "I NO ENGLISH!!!!!"

While she has achieved a LOT, a conversation to discuss vital details is still not there.

In between piano, the vet, and hair appointment, we ate dinner.

****WARNING***** This story is a little gross!

I'm trying to get the girls to finish eating to make it to the vet before they close at 6:00.

Annabel shows me this mouthful of food. I try ignoring it.

She starts trying to talk to me while showing me this mouthful of food.

I finally tell her that you don't show people what is in your mouth!

BU Wan Yun, resorting to my Chenglish, calling her by her Chinese name and adding no. (For those who know Chinese, I apologize for not knowing how to include accent marks)

Bu, no, Annabel, chew up your food so we can leave.

I am still trying to ignore the bad behavior and motion that she can take her plate with her if she wants, after all this is her 3rd helping of stew and rice, but she seems intent on eating all of it.

When I finish locking the door, I turn around to see her starting to cry. She just doesn't cry. I think I have hurt her feelings about the open mouth and food behavior. We get in the car and she is still trying to talk to me with that really nasty looking mouthful of food. By now it is dog food looking. Tears are beginning to roll down her cheeks.

OK, I am slow sometimes.

I finally realize that she cannot swallow this huge bite of food and she doesn't know what to do with it.

I open the car door and act out spitting out the food.

She immediately leans over and spits it out. Tears stop. "Thank you Mom!"

I feel terrible that I didn't understand what she was needing, but even worse to think that there had not been a "mother" there when she first began to eat and needed to spit something out. I think it is a universal job requirement for mothers of toddlers to have hands ready to accept whatever gets spit out.

Back to the title.

We were driving in bumper to bumper traffic, racing to get to the vet before they close to get Nina's medicine and Nina REALLY needs her meds.

When Annabel says "Mom", it generally requires me to face her so she can try to explain something with gestures, facial expressions, and whatever props she can find.

This time she sounded in distress, so in between speeding up and slamming on the brakes, I glanced back and she says, "Mom", my and makes a downward spiral with her hand, points to her throat and says "Hao Tong", it hurts. I really do not know where that body part is that is a downward spiral motion that originated above her head. I thought she had a sore throat and if I ask too many times for further descriptions, she gets a little frustrated.

"Does your throat hurt?"

"My... spiral motion again... hao tong"

Speed to catch back up with traffic, slam on brakes, when we all stop suddenly.

"Your stomach?"

"No, Mom, my... spiral motion again."

Still do not have a clue, so "OK, I'm sorry (your downward spiral motion) hurts. Maybe you need to use the bathroom."

All of that was in English so she really didn't understand, but she agreed and closed her eyes and took a quick nap till we got to the vet.

I knew she was ok because when ice cream was offered, even though her downward spiral motion might still be hurting, she was up for ice cream.

B as in boy or as in didi?

Grace decided to teach Annabelly how to play the piano tonight.

I'm not sure if it is going to work though.

For the "D" key, she explained DiDi, you know like boy, or little brother.

So she is teaching a child who is learning English the name of the key with a Chinese word that translates into a word that starts with the name of another key.

Earlier on our way to McDonalds, Annabel said, "Mom, curl, black, (pounded window), and then showed me her hand.


OK, now what? about curl, black, window, and her hand.

I finally understood that girl, maybe with black curls was outside waving to Annable.

We continue to learn!