100 years ago I had a car accident, where the truck ran a stop sign and I swerved to avoid being crushed underneath him, only to find myself sailing through the air, Dukes of Hazzard style, and landing in a field. I was carried out on a board and ever since have had issues with my back, especially with small repetitive movements.
This is my excuse as to why housework is difficult for me.
It's as good a reason as any not to want to clean house, I think.
So my guilty pleasure for the last few months has been to have a cleaning crew come once a month to clean house.
It is the one time during the entire month that every floor is clean, every mirror is polished, every sink is hygienic with no trace of toothpaste, and the beds are all made.
This lasts approximately, well, that depends, on how quickly the girls get in and the dogs make a mess. So for this brief moment, I am in my CLEAN house enjoying the smell of clean, I've locked the dogs in the backyard and Annabel and Grace are at their grandparents.
Ahhh!!!
In my previous life I would have spent this money on maybe a facial, or a pedicure, or maybe even a massage! Now I am so thrilled to have a clean house I've decided it can be my one and only vice, or excess, or guilty pleasure.
My time in this nirvana is almost over.
The dogs are barking madly and Annabel and her Poppa are outside the door!
Oh well, back to reality.
The deadline for getting the paperwork into the new school, North Hills is February 1.
I gathered all of our paperwork and took it to the school, fearing our postal system would let me down. I was sure I would be greeted with a warm welcome and congratulations on beating the deadline. Instead the secretary told me she would put it in the person's mail box, thanks.
Maybe it was her off day or everyone had bugged her with these applications. I hope!!
If I believed in Confucius, then I would be sure the "gods" were angry with me and showing their superiority to me, as I bragged one too many times about all of us staying well. The girls got out early yesterday or I am sure I would have gotten a call from the school to pick up Grace. She has her usual sinus infection that quickly goes into her chest and gets worse. She has enjoyed laying on her grandparents couch watching a record number of TV shows, falling into slumber from the high dosage of benadryl to help dry up the yuck.
This has left Annabel with nothing to do and very bored.
Yesterday afternoon I took Annabel to the grocery store. I guess it was the first time that we had done this together. I realize that Grace has to be the one to carry the conversation or just that go-between as Annabel and I continue to work our way into a relationship. I have realized a change where she is no longer a "guest" but becoming part of the family, carving her own little niche. I would never have thought it was possible to adopt a child from China who could be so much like my dad, but Annabel is very similar, in taste, personality, behavior. It is amazing.
Annabel and I had a good time at the store though and she enjoyed being the center of my attention. I know you are supposed to set aside time with each child to give them your attention and I have great intentions of doing that, but so far it rarely happens.
Annabel is still small enough that she grabbed the front of the cart and I whizzed her through the store, only to be stopped every few feet by either a crowd (what was that all about?) or someone we knew. Yet we successfully purchased our short list and came home to find that Grace had slept the whole time we were gone. Of course then she could not sleep last night and as I dozed off could hear her up in their room. My body just had to give up last night and I was out before the girls for once.
On Thursday at piano, I apologized tot he teacher that Grace had not practiced. It had been a crazy week, especially for me, as last Friday our office and everything else in the lobby of the hospital was under water. Then on Wednesday to have a snow day really threw off our routine.
But Grace sat down and played beautifully as if she had spent hours each day laboring on the keys to achieve perfection. She really seems to have an ability and I hope she will continue to develop it.
I continue to fight off a sinus infection knowing I have a Z pack of antibiotics ready for when I can no longer fight the infection. But while I have a chance to let my body heal itself, I think I should.
You have to love Texas weather, when you have ice and snow on Tuesday through Thursday and then on Saturday, it is 68 and sunny!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
No School!
When I got our gas bill last month I was shocked at the price and decided that I needed to adjust the thermostat down at night and keep it lower while we weren't here. Plus Annabel has been complaining about being hot at night. Probably I should have done it after this ice storm, but at 6:00 a.m. this house was cold!! But I got up and as soon as I turned on the TV the announcement that DISD had cancelled class was made.
It has to be pretty bad for DISD to close school, but all the other districts throughout north Texas had closed too. I read where the President was surprised that the Washington DC schools had closed. Obviously he has never been in Texas during an ice storm. If we don't close down, then the number of wrecks, and injuries is so high that it's not worth it!
But Grace and Annabel were not so sure that I was telling them straight.
I'm not sure how many times they asked me if everyone was out of school or just them. I wonder if they had snow days in China? Last year at this time most of China was hit hard with one of the worst snow storms in history. There were areas that were cut off from power and supplies and the need for support was huge. Yet Annabel thinks that it is colder here.
Tonight I was going through all my records on the adoptions trying to find what I need for registration for the new school. I had forgotten about some of the pictures I had received of Grace. Every picture of these little tiny kids show them so bundled up that their arms are sticking straight out.
I think I know why Annabel has been hot at night, she probably has 3 layers of clothes on! It certainly makes for a lot of laundry too. But this is what she is used to and actually how it is suggested that you dress. For me, I am just ready to hang up the coat and wait for summer!
I know I had some great plans for us to do if we had an ice/snow day, but instead I tried to fight off a cold? sinus infection? bronchitis? and slept most of the day while the girls watched TV non stop. Annabel got to see 2 of Grace's all time favorites, Lion King and Lion King 2. When we first got home Grace would watch Lion King up to 3 times in one day if I let her. She always had lots of questions to ask and now Annabel started the questions. Her big question was why did the little lion roar so softly an the big lion roar so loudly.
After a long quiet sedentary day, I knew that we needed to get out and move around. Since it was still so cold outside, I tried to think of a good indoor playground, so we went to McDonald's for dinner. I knew they had finally done enough when Annabel came over and told me her foot was tired. Not feet, but foot.
Annabel is still having problems with her pronouns and as she told me a story about her teacher, he switched from him to her to he and she. You really have to pay attention and make sure new characters were not thrown in.
It has to be pretty bad for DISD to close school, but all the other districts throughout north Texas had closed too. I read where the President was surprised that the Washington DC schools had closed. Obviously he has never been in Texas during an ice storm. If we don't close down, then the number of wrecks, and injuries is so high that it's not worth it!
But Grace and Annabel were not so sure that I was telling them straight.
I'm not sure how many times they asked me if everyone was out of school or just them. I wonder if they had snow days in China? Last year at this time most of China was hit hard with one of the worst snow storms in history. There were areas that were cut off from power and supplies and the need for support was huge. Yet Annabel thinks that it is colder here.
Tonight I was going through all my records on the adoptions trying to find what I need for registration for the new school. I had forgotten about some of the pictures I had received of Grace. Every picture of these little tiny kids show them so bundled up that their arms are sticking straight out.
I think I know why Annabel has been hot at night, she probably has 3 layers of clothes on! It certainly makes for a lot of laundry too. But this is what she is used to and actually how it is suggested that you dress. For me, I am just ready to hang up the coat and wait for summer!
I know I had some great plans for us to do if we had an ice/snow day, but instead I tried to fight off a cold? sinus infection? bronchitis? and slept most of the day while the girls watched TV non stop. Annabel got to see 2 of Grace's all time favorites, Lion King and Lion King 2. When we first got home Grace would watch Lion King up to 3 times in one day if I let her. She always had lots of questions to ask and now Annabel started the questions. Her big question was why did the little lion roar so softly an the big lion roar so loudly.
After a long quiet sedentary day, I knew that we needed to get out and move around. Since it was still so cold outside, I tried to think of a good indoor playground, so we went to McDonald's for dinner. I knew they had finally done enough when Annabel came over and told me her foot was tired. Not feet, but foot.
Annabel is still having problems with her pronouns and as she told me a story about her teacher, he switched from him to her to he and she. You really have to pay attention and make sure new characters were not thrown in.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
A cold, blustery, icey winter night
Mom and Dad had us over for dinner and we were back home with plenty of time and no kitchen to clean so I have a few minutes to catch up. We are waiting to see the extent of the STORM that is coming through and if there will be as much ice as they say. If we lose power I am claiming the two dogs to keep me warm! Actually if all 3 of us got into one bed we could stay plenty warm since both dogs would jump in too.
The girls got their report cards today.
Each six weeks I look at the grades and think "what did I miss?" Somehow they are significantly as much lower in one class as they are higher in another. I don't understand. I am not sure if there was one major assignment that did not go right or a lack of understanding of basic concepts or what?
Annabel came home with a 73 in PE. A 73? Now how did she do that and why wasn't I notified? Her simple explanation? "You mean gym? I not like that."
There you go! They are playing volleyball and she would prefer basketball. She has been talking about volleyball the last few days. She said she likes it OK until the ball comes to her. Now I don't blame her for that. I tried to explain the importance of team work, but that lesson seemed lost. Getting good grades wasn't much of a motivator either.
I offered to hire a tutor to help her with English. She wanted to know what I meant. To help her learn English. No thanks, her teacher was teaching her enough. I suggested a tutor could help her learn to read English. NO. Not interested in that at all.
Well the precipitation continues to fall but the school district will probably wait until the morning to make a decision, although all the others have. Oh well!
I found the list below on the internet tonight and thought others in the Dallas area might benefit. I hope we can go out to all of these!
AllGood Café
2934 Main St, Dallas
Tuesday: Buy one get one free entrees
Black Eyed Pea
Kids eat free Tuesday nights.
Breadwinners
3301 McKinney Ave. - Dallas
5560 W. Lovers Lane - Inwood Village
4021 Preston Rd., # 611 – Plano
Tuesday: 50% off appetizers
Wednesday: 50% off wine
Thursday: 50% off martinis
Sunday: FREE dessert
ButcherShop Steakhouse
808 Munger Ave, Dallas
Friday Lunch: $7.00 Sandwich Bar
Carino's Italian
Monday Night: Family-size entrée for the price of a single portion.
Wednesday: Half price bottles of wine.
Chick-Fil-A
Tuesday (6-8 pm): Free kids meal w/purchase of combo meal.
Chuy's
Happy Hour: FREE fully loaded 'Nacho Car' & $3.50 margaritas
Colter's BBQ
3904 W. Camp Wisdom Rd, Duncanville
Monday: 2 Can Dine for $13.99
Tuesday: All You Can Eat Ribs $11.99
Wednesday: Kids under 12 eat free w/adult purchase
Thursday: Famous Rib Plate $2.00 off
Friday: All You Can Eat Catfish $8.99
Sunday: 10% off entire purchase with proof of Church Bulletin
Cru Wine Bar
3699 Mckinney Ave., Dallas
50% off champagne on Thursdays
Deep Sushi:
2624 Elm St, Dallas
Lunch special: 2 for one sushi, Monday through Friday.
Happy hour 5-7pm Mon-Fri: 1/2 price drink and 2 for 1 sushi
Denny's
Tuesdays: Kids eat free 4pm-10pm
Dickey's BBQ
Tuesdays: Kids under 12 eat free w/purchase of adult entree.
Dream Café
2800 Routh St, Dallas
Mon-Sun 5pm-Close
3 course meal (soup or salad, choice of 4 entrees and dessert) $12.50.
Tues-Sat 8-9p: Half price wine and cocktails.
Eatzi's
3403 Oak Lawn Ave.
Buy one get one free entrees, bakery items and select items in the chef's case, every night after 9pm
El Chico
Thursday nights: $0.99 kids meal w/purchase of adult meal.
El Fenix
Wednesday: Enchilada special $4.99.
Golden Corral
Tuesday night: Kids eat free.
Humperdink's
1601 North Central Expressway, Richardson
Sat. and Sun.: Kids 12 and under are half price
Kathleen's Sky Diner
4424 Lovers Ln, Dallas
Sunday 5-10pm: Entrees are 1/2 price
Luby's
Kids eat for $2 on Wednesdays.
Monica's Aca Y Alla
2914 Main St, Dallas
Tuesday nights: 1/2 price nachos, burritos, tacos, enchiladas
Patrizio (FLower Mound, Cedar Hill, Plano)
Sunday-Thursday, 11am-10pm: Kids eat free.
RJ Mexican Cuisine
1702 N. Market Street, Dallas
Lunch Deals
Tuesday: Beef or chicken enchiladas $6.99.
Wednesday: Chicken, beef, or fish taco's $6.99.
Thursday: Seafood enchiladas $6.99.
Friday: Beef or chicken fajita's $7.99.
M-F Happy Hour, 11am-7pm $4.00 Margarita's.
The Rose Tattoo Grille & Wine
3610 Shire Blvd., Richardson
Monday: Half price on all bottled wine.
Scampi's Cafe
1057 W. Magnolia Ave., Fort Worth
Wednesday night: Kids 10 & under eat free.
Thursday: 6:30-8:30pm free wine.BYO beer and wine with $5 cork fee everyday.
Souper Salad
Kids 5-12 years old eat for $2.49 (drink not included).
Spaghetti Warehouse
Monday nights: $0.99 kids meal w/purchase of adult meal.
Steak & Ale
Wednesday: Kids eat free.
Steel
3102 Oak Lawn Ave # 100, Dallas
Sunday 5:30-10: 1/2 off bottles of wine. Complimentary sushi, special on appetizers and cocktails. $4 import beers and $3 domestic. (2 drink minimum for free sushi)
Texas de Brazil
2727 Cedar Springs Road, Dallas
Everyday: Kids under 6 eat free (ages 7-12 are 1/2 price)
Texas Land and Cattle
Saturday, 11am-4pm: Kids eat free.
Texas Roadhouse
Early Bird Special, before 6pm: Two meals for $14.99.
Trece
4513 Travis St, Dallas
Family day on Sundays (3 course dinner menu for only $15.95, and kids eat FREE!)
The girls got their report cards today.
Each six weeks I look at the grades and think "what did I miss?" Somehow they are significantly as much lower in one class as they are higher in another. I don't understand. I am not sure if there was one major assignment that did not go right or a lack of understanding of basic concepts or what?
Annabel came home with a 73 in PE. A 73? Now how did she do that and why wasn't I notified? Her simple explanation? "You mean gym? I not like that."
There you go! They are playing volleyball and she would prefer basketball. She has been talking about volleyball the last few days. She said she likes it OK until the ball comes to her. Now I don't blame her for that. I tried to explain the importance of team work, but that lesson seemed lost. Getting good grades wasn't much of a motivator either.
I offered to hire a tutor to help her with English. She wanted to know what I meant. To help her learn English. No thanks, her teacher was teaching her enough. I suggested a tutor could help her learn to read English. NO. Not interested in that at all.
Well the precipitation continues to fall but the school district will probably wait until the morning to make a decision, although all the others have. Oh well!
I found the list below on the internet tonight and thought others in the Dallas area might benefit. I hope we can go out to all of these!
AllGood Café
2934 Main St, Dallas
Tuesday: Buy one get one free entrees
Black Eyed Pea
Kids eat free Tuesday nights.
Breadwinners
3301 McKinney Ave. - Dallas
5560 W. Lovers Lane - Inwood Village
4021 Preston Rd., # 611 – Plano
Tuesday: 50% off appetizers
Wednesday: 50% off wine
Thursday: 50% off martinis
Sunday: FREE dessert
ButcherShop Steakhouse
808 Munger Ave, Dallas
Friday Lunch: $7.00 Sandwich Bar
Carino's Italian
Monday Night: Family-size entrée for the price of a single portion.
Wednesday: Half price bottles of wine.
Chick-Fil-A
Tuesday (6-8 pm): Free kids meal w/purchase of combo meal.
Chuy's
Happy Hour: FREE fully loaded 'Nacho Car' & $3.50 margaritas
Colter's BBQ
3904 W. Camp Wisdom Rd, Duncanville
Monday: 2 Can Dine for $13.99
Tuesday: All You Can Eat Ribs $11.99
Wednesday: Kids under 12 eat free w/adult purchase
Thursday: Famous Rib Plate $2.00 off
Friday: All You Can Eat Catfish $8.99
Sunday: 10% off entire purchase with proof of Church Bulletin
Cru Wine Bar
3699 Mckinney Ave., Dallas
50% off champagne on Thursdays
Deep Sushi:
2624 Elm St, Dallas
Lunch special: 2 for one sushi, Monday through Friday.
Happy hour 5-7pm Mon-Fri: 1/2 price drink and 2 for 1 sushi
Denny's
Tuesdays: Kids eat free 4pm-10pm
Dickey's BBQ
Tuesdays: Kids under 12 eat free w/purchase of adult entree.
Dream Café
2800 Routh St, Dallas
Mon-Sun 5pm-Close
3 course meal (soup or salad, choice of 4 entrees and dessert) $12.50.
Tues-Sat 8-9p: Half price wine and cocktails.
Eatzi's
3403 Oak Lawn Ave.
Buy one get one free entrees, bakery items and select items in the chef's case, every night after 9pm
El Chico
Thursday nights: $0.99 kids meal w/purchase of adult meal.
El Fenix
Wednesday: Enchilada special $4.99.
Golden Corral
Tuesday night: Kids eat free.
Humperdink's
1601 North Central Expressway, Richardson
Sat. and Sun.: Kids 12 and under are half price
Kathleen's Sky Diner
4424 Lovers Ln, Dallas
Sunday 5-10pm: Entrees are 1/2 price
Luby's
Kids eat for $2 on Wednesdays.
Monica's Aca Y Alla
2914 Main St, Dallas
Tuesday nights: 1/2 price nachos, burritos, tacos, enchiladas
Patrizio (FLower Mound, Cedar Hill, Plano)
Sunday-Thursday, 11am-10pm: Kids eat free.
RJ Mexican Cuisine
1702 N. Market Street, Dallas
Lunch Deals
Tuesday: Beef or chicken enchiladas $6.99.
Wednesday: Chicken, beef, or fish taco's $6.99.
Thursday: Seafood enchiladas $6.99.
Friday: Beef or chicken fajita's $7.99.
M-F Happy Hour, 11am-7pm $4.00 Margarita's.
The Rose Tattoo Grille & Wine
3610 Shire Blvd., Richardson
Monday: Half price on all bottled wine.
Scampi's Cafe
1057 W. Magnolia Ave., Fort Worth
Wednesday night: Kids 10 & under eat free.
Thursday: 6:30-8:30pm free wine.BYO beer and wine with $5 cork fee everyday.
Souper Salad
Kids 5-12 years old eat for $2.49 (drink not included).
Spaghetti Warehouse
Monday nights: $0.99 kids meal w/purchase of adult meal.
Steak & Ale
Wednesday: Kids eat free.
Steel
3102 Oak Lawn Ave # 100, Dallas
Sunday 5:30-10: 1/2 off bottles of wine. Complimentary sushi, special on appetizers and cocktails. $4 import beers and $3 domestic. (2 drink minimum for free sushi)
Texas de Brazil
2727 Cedar Springs Road, Dallas
Everyday: Kids under 6 eat free (ages 7-12 are 1/2 price)
Texas Land and Cattle
Saturday, 11am-4pm: Kids eat free.
Texas Roadhouse
Early Bird Special, before 6pm: Two meals for $14.99.
Trece
4513 Travis St, Dallas
Family day on Sundays (3 course dinner menu for only $15.95, and kids eat FREE!)
Hair when you are a tween
This weekend, while getting ready to go to the Chinese New Year's dinner, Grace decided she wanted to do something with her hair. So while I was getting ready she got out my curling iron, which has a short in it and turns itself off all the time.
I checked on her and suggested she get the flat iron, maybe it would do what she needed.
I checked on her again and realized she was trying to make ringlets around her face. I got out the smaller curling iron.
After at least 30 minutes trying to get her completely straight hair into a curl I finally brought out the big guns! My hot rollers! The only trouble with those is I have lost most of the clips and by then Annabel decided she wanted to get in on the action.
So at the last minute I am trying to get enough hot rollers in both girls to be satisfied with the results and at 10 and 11 running out the door with rollers in their hair with a bag to put them in! I felt like I was having flashbacks to my own younger years. But I don't think I started that until junior high or high school.
On Sunday we started the process again and even though we had been up for hours almost were late to church trying to get the perfect 'do!
Monday morning Grace came into breakfast with her hair pulled back and the front part slicked down. She asked what I thought and said she had used the hairspray and hoped that it was ok. Sure, no problem. Thankfully before she left she changed it one more time.
I keep knowing I am having a glimpse of the future.
I checked on her and suggested she get the flat iron, maybe it would do what she needed.
I checked on her again and realized she was trying to make ringlets around her face. I got out the smaller curling iron.
After at least 30 minutes trying to get her completely straight hair into a curl I finally brought out the big guns! My hot rollers! The only trouble with those is I have lost most of the clips and by then Annabel decided she wanted to get in on the action.
So at the last minute I am trying to get enough hot rollers in both girls to be satisfied with the results and at 10 and 11 running out the door with rollers in their hair with a bag to put them in! I felt like I was having flashbacks to my own younger years. But I don't think I started that until junior high or high school.
On Sunday we started the process again and even though we had been up for hours almost were late to church trying to get the perfect 'do!
Monday morning Grace came into breakfast with her hair pulled back and the front part slicked down. She asked what I thought and said she had used the hairspray and hoped that it was ok. Sure, no problem. Thankfully before she left she changed it one more time.
I keep knowing I am having a glimpse of the future.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Wàn Suì (long life) and the blurring of memories
Happy New Year! The Year of the Ox - Annabel's year!
Yesterday we went to Denton to visit the Chinese church again. It seemed appropriate in light of today being Chinese New Year's and knew that Annabel would enjoy it.
Grace asked me tonight if I ever got embarrassed any more. I told her rarely because if I was brave enough to stand up in a church full of people all speaking a different language and introduce myself, I decided little can ruffle me any more!
The girls' music teacher and her husband were in charge of the music and I enjoyed singing so many songs I have always known in English, with everyone else around me singing in Chinese. It was wonderful to see how God transcends all languages and there is no barrier in expressing your love to God.
The whole service was in Chinese except the preacher would switch from Chinese to English at times. He was comparing the difference in perversity and pervasiveness of sins. Very interesting.
They have lunch together afterward and I think this is my girls' favorite part! It is their one opportunity to have home made Chinese food and sit and visit with a wide variety of ages of people from China.
The music teacher's parents were visiting from Hong Kong and while her mother did not speak English, her father did and very well. I enjoyed visiting with her father and husband and they were very curious about Grace and Annabel's history and adoption. At the same time our conversation was taking place, a woman from the church came to meet the music teacher's mom. Everyone had mentioned that they looked similar and that had been my first impression as well. Her mother had "lost" her younger sister. I've read so many stories about life in China through the 40's - 60's and know that life was so hard that it was not unusual to "lose" a family member due to poverty, relocation, family issues, and deaths. I compared that to what might have happened to Annabel and Grace's birth parents and honestly explained that we would probably never know the circumstances surrounding their births and the decision to place their daughters available for adoption.
On our way home we stopped at an Asian market. They had the most fabulous produce section with so many fruits and vegetables that I have never seen! I've been to lots of Asian markets, but this surpassed anything I had ever seen. Annabel insisted that she had eaten a LOT of the things when she was in China.
We had invited Marcie and Drew for dinner for Chinese New Year's. Since not everyone likes Chinese food and the important dish is noodles to indicate long life, we had spaghetti!
We were running late from spending too much time at the market and company was coming soon, but I had also committed to opening my office space for a meeting with the community gardening group.
I ran out of here and locked the girls in with instructions on making the salad and dessert. But when I returned, they had made not only the salad and dessert, but also the pasta, set the table, and were reading for the next step!
We had a good time at dinner and I was so proud of what the girls had done.
One of the things that seems to be happening to Annabel is blurring the memories of what happened in China and what has happened here. I don't know whether to correct her or not. She told us about the time her foster mother said, "Annabel", which caused Grace to promptly remind her that her foster mother would not have called her Annabel. That stumped her. But then yesterday she told us about taking a shower in China and I know that was probably not very likely. She has told us other stories and placed them in China, but I know they happened here. I feel like she is trying her best to hold onto her previous life and I don't want her to lose it, I want it to be a melding of both, but I also understand how delicate her ego is right now too. I guess I will wait a while longer before having the whole "confrontation" on the truth.
Yesterday we went to Denton to visit the Chinese church again. It seemed appropriate in light of today being Chinese New Year's and knew that Annabel would enjoy it.
Grace asked me tonight if I ever got embarrassed any more. I told her rarely because if I was brave enough to stand up in a church full of people all speaking a different language and introduce myself, I decided little can ruffle me any more!
The girls' music teacher and her husband were in charge of the music and I enjoyed singing so many songs I have always known in English, with everyone else around me singing in Chinese. It was wonderful to see how God transcends all languages and there is no barrier in expressing your love to God.
The whole service was in Chinese except the preacher would switch from Chinese to English at times. He was comparing the difference in perversity and pervasiveness of sins. Very interesting.
They have lunch together afterward and I think this is my girls' favorite part! It is their one opportunity to have home made Chinese food and sit and visit with a wide variety of ages of people from China.
The music teacher's parents were visiting from Hong Kong and while her mother did not speak English, her father did and very well. I enjoyed visiting with her father and husband and they were very curious about Grace and Annabel's history and adoption. At the same time our conversation was taking place, a woman from the church came to meet the music teacher's mom. Everyone had mentioned that they looked similar and that had been my first impression as well. Her mother had "lost" her younger sister. I've read so many stories about life in China through the 40's - 60's and know that life was so hard that it was not unusual to "lose" a family member due to poverty, relocation, family issues, and deaths. I compared that to what might have happened to Annabel and Grace's birth parents and honestly explained that we would probably never know the circumstances surrounding their births and the decision to place their daughters available for adoption.
On our way home we stopped at an Asian market. They had the most fabulous produce section with so many fruits and vegetables that I have never seen! I've been to lots of Asian markets, but this surpassed anything I had ever seen. Annabel insisted that she had eaten a LOT of the things when she was in China.
We had invited Marcie and Drew for dinner for Chinese New Year's. Since not everyone likes Chinese food and the important dish is noodles to indicate long life, we had spaghetti!
We were running late from spending too much time at the market and company was coming soon, but I had also committed to opening my office space for a meeting with the community gardening group.
I ran out of here and locked the girls in with instructions on making the salad and dessert. But when I returned, they had made not only the salad and dessert, but also the pasta, set the table, and were reading for the next step!
We had a good time at dinner and I was so proud of what the girls had done.
One of the things that seems to be happening to Annabel is blurring the memories of what happened in China and what has happened here. I don't know whether to correct her or not. She told us about the time her foster mother said, "Annabel", which caused Grace to promptly remind her that her foster mother would not have called her Annabel. That stumped her. But then yesterday she told us about taking a shower in China and I know that was probably not very likely. She has told us other stories and placed them in China, but I know they happened here. I feel like she is trying her best to hold onto her previous life and I don't want her to lose it, I want it to be a melding of both, but I also understand how delicate her ego is right now too. I guess I will wait a while longer before having the whole "confrontation" on the truth.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Chinese dresses, Chinese New Year's, and bullies
Chinese Dresses
Back when I adopted Grace, buying Chinese dresses for her was a HUGE priority for me before we left China.
I had this dream of surprising her each year with one more beautiful dress that she would ooh and aah over and would insist on getting her picture made in. Probably use them as gifts for Chinese New Year's or for class pictures.
So after a very full day, Jana and I and the girls made our way to one of the favorites for Chinese souvenirs, Jennifer's. This store is what you imagine a store in China to be, packed from floor to ceiling, with very narrow aisles. It had to be 102 degrees in there and the brightest light was about a 20 watt bulb.
I was sweating to death and still had very little experience being a mom, much less buying clothes for my little dumpling. So I dug through stacks of these beautiful dresses, holding up colors and trying to ask Grace if she liked it. Her attention span was about as long as a gnat's and I am trying to get her to choose colors and styles of dresses that she will want up until she is 18 years old!
So I have more than enough help from the store personnel, who spoke limited English, and trying to pick these dresses, and when I got home and started looking through what I had bought, I realize that I have several in some sizes, and nothing in others!
Then Grace outgrew all the dresses I bought within the first 2 years and showed little interest in any of them! She maybe wore two of them, maybe....
Chinese New Year's
Last year on Chinese New Year's when Grace came home, I asked how she liked my hair cut.
"Mom! you are not supposed to get your hair cut on Chinese New Year's! It is very bad luck!!! At least you did not sweep the house!"
Oh my! Of course I just had swept. I had swept the whole house to get rid of the mud the dogs had tracked in!
Whether I had a year of bad luck might be questionable. Some of the best things in my life had happened this year, but every time something bad happened, Grace chalked it up to my year of bad luck!
This year I am determined not to make the same mistakes, so i got my hair cut Tuesday and today cleaned house, since Chinese New Year's is Monday!
Tonight we went to Grapevine for a Families with Children from China Chinese New Year's dinner.
But before we could go selecting just the exact right thing to wear gave me a glimpse of the future of having 2 teenagers.
Annabel decided she would LOVE to wear a Chinese dress and so Grace decided she also wanted to wear one.
I began looking for all these dresses and then trying to find the right size for Annabel. She decided to try on every single one of these dresses and there are a lot. She finally chose one and we started on Grace. The chance that one would fit, since she really outgrew them two years ago! She found a top to wear with jeans and I thought we were on our way. But there was a need to do hair too. So everyone got some curl in their hair, even though it fell out before we got to the car.
We had a great time and it was wonderful to see so many happy families as a result of their adoption.
I should have learned the last time when we were faced with a raffle not to buy tickets again! Annabel feels that winning shows that you are lucky, which is very important! Thank goodness on the very last item she won! That cute little bear only cost $21!!
Tomorrow we are going to Denton to visit the Denton Chinese Church. When Annabel was feeling low this week I suggested we go. She has been so excited all week and prayed for their church every day. Her teacher gave her instructions on what time we should leave and what they should wear. Thanks!
Bullies
One day this week Grace greeted me with the news that her friend said two girls in 4th grade were saying bad things about Annabel. Annabel immediately asked me what Grace said. I glared at Grace and made up something about what she might have said.
Later I talked to Grace about our previous conversation. I asked her what benefit would it be to repeat something bad about anyone. I also questioned a "friend" repeating something bad about your sister to you. We talked about this and looked at it a lot of different ways. I explained that if anyone else was talking bad about either of them that I did not mind coming up to the school and laying a bunch of whup *ss on them!!! It burns me up for anyone to pick on my girls and then for "friends" to share this info makes me even madder. I know I can't fight all of their battles so I have to make sure they are prepared to handle them on their own. Probably offering a bunch of whup *ss wasn't the best though!
Back when I adopted Grace, buying Chinese dresses for her was a HUGE priority for me before we left China.
I had this dream of surprising her each year with one more beautiful dress that she would ooh and aah over and would insist on getting her picture made in. Probably use them as gifts for Chinese New Year's or for class pictures.
So after a very full day, Jana and I and the girls made our way to one of the favorites for Chinese souvenirs, Jennifer's. This store is what you imagine a store in China to be, packed from floor to ceiling, with very narrow aisles. It had to be 102 degrees in there and the brightest light was about a 20 watt bulb.
I was sweating to death and still had very little experience being a mom, much less buying clothes for my little dumpling. So I dug through stacks of these beautiful dresses, holding up colors and trying to ask Grace if she liked it. Her attention span was about as long as a gnat's and I am trying to get her to choose colors and styles of dresses that she will want up until she is 18 years old!
So I have more than enough help from the store personnel, who spoke limited English, and trying to pick these dresses, and when I got home and started looking through what I had bought, I realize that I have several in some sizes, and nothing in others!
Then Grace outgrew all the dresses I bought within the first 2 years and showed little interest in any of them! She maybe wore two of them, maybe....
Chinese New Year's
Last year on Chinese New Year's when Grace came home, I asked how she liked my hair cut.
"Mom! you are not supposed to get your hair cut on Chinese New Year's! It is very bad luck!!! At least you did not sweep the house!"
Oh my! Of course I just had swept. I had swept the whole house to get rid of the mud the dogs had tracked in!
Whether I had a year of bad luck might be questionable. Some of the best things in my life had happened this year, but every time something bad happened, Grace chalked it up to my year of bad luck!
This year I am determined not to make the same mistakes, so i got my hair cut Tuesday and today cleaned house, since Chinese New Year's is Monday!
Tonight we went to Grapevine for a Families with Children from China Chinese New Year's dinner.
But before we could go selecting just the exact right thing to wear gave me a glimpse of the future of having 2 teenagers.
Annabel decided she would LOVE to wear a Chinese dress and so Grace decided she also wanted to wear one.
I began looking for all these dresses and then trying to find the right size for Annabel. She decided to try on every single one of these dresses and there are a lot. She finally chose one and we started on Grace. The chance that one would fit, since she really outgrew them two years ago! She found a top to wear with jeans and I thought we were on our way. But there was a need to do hair too. So everyone got some curl in their hair, even though it fell out before we got to the car.
We had a great time and it was wonderful to see so many happy families as a result of their adoption.
I should have learned the last time when we were faced with a raffle not to buy tickets again! Annabel feels that winning shows that you are lucky, which is very important! Thank goodness on the very last item she won! That cute little bear only cost $21!!
Tomorrow we are going to Denton to visit the Denton Chinese Church. When Annabel was feeling low this week I suggested we go. She has been so excited all week and prayed for their church every day. Her teacher gave her instructions on what time we should leave and what they should wear. Thanks!
Bullies
One day this week Grace greeted me with the news that her friend said two girls in 4th grade were saying bad things about Annabel. Annabel immediately asked me what Grace said. I glared at Grace and made up something about what she might have said.
Later I talked to Grace about our previous conversation. I asked her what benefit would it be to repeat something bad about anyone. I also questioned a "friend" repeating something bad about your sister to you. We talked about this and looked at it a lot of different ways. I explained that if anyone else was talking bad about either of them that I did not mind coming up to the school and laying a bunch of whup *ss on them!!! It burns me up for anyone to pick on my girls and then for "friends" to share this info makes me even madder. I know I can't fight all of their battles so I have to make sure they are prepared to handle them on their own. Probably offering a bunch of whup *ss wasn't the best though!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Mom, can we talk?
Last night, Grace urged Annabel to come and talk to me.
While they had been playing, Annabel had opened up about some things that were bothering her.
She had lots of questions about the how and why of our family, maybe a clearer definition of each other's roles? She also knew and could recall each and every time I knew I would be losing "Mother of the Year" due to my ineffective parenting skills!
She began to open up about life in China. Sometimes it went so quick it was difficult to keep up with who she was talking about, but I think I understand.
And after 24 hours of thinking about it, I realize she was wanting to know why I did not act like her "moms" in China, although she had seen that I could.
Family life here does not consist of her being spanked or slapped daily, being required to take care of the younger children, older adults, etc. Here she does not have to wash her own clothes, cook her own food, go to school, and have tons of homework. She admitted that she rebelled against doing so much homework after cooking, cleaning, and caring for all the younger children. And the amount of homework was "huge". And if she did ANYTHING wrong she was hit.
She told me that when she moved to the "hospital" (which is the same thing that Grace always called the orphanage) that she refused to call her foster mother "mom".
I sat and listened quietly, asking a few questions to ensure that I understood. I tried to explain some of my actions and apologized for my failures. I told her I knew that I was not perfect and that I tried hard each day, but some days just did not turn out like I planned.
We also talked about how much we all had grown to know and understand each other, much more than we did in August.
I told her that it had been difficult at first but was so much better now.
Last night I thought about all the times that I had failed because she could remember each one, but I know that the reason she could remember each is because there have not been that many. That actually life here was SO different that instead of pointing a finger at me for my wrongdoing, I think she wanted assurance that it would be this way.
Our prayer together last night included each of us asking God to help us and to help me be a better mom each day and for us to be more aware of each other's feelings. And that my hair cut mmake my hair longer.
She let me kiss her good night. And again tonight.
While they had been playing, Annabel had opened up about some things that were bothering her.
She had lots of questions about the how and why of our family, maybe a clearer definition of each other's roles? She also knew and could recall each and every time I knew I would be losing "Mother of the Year" due to my ineffective parenting skills!
She began to open up about life in China. Sometimes it went so quick it was difficult to keep up with who she was talking about, but I think I understand.
And after 24 hours of thinking about it, I realize she was wanting to know why I did not act like her "moms" in China, although she had seen that I could.
Family life here does not consist of her being spanked or slapped daily, being required to take care of the younger children, older adults, etc. Here she does not have to wash her own clothes, cook her own food, go to school, and have tons of homework. She admitted that she rebelled against doing so much homework after cooking, cleaning, and caring for all the younger children. And the amount of homework was "huge". And if she did ANYTHING wrong she was hit.
She told me that when she moved to the "hospital" (which is the same thing that Grace always called the orphanage) that she refused to call her foster mother "mom".
I sat and listened quietly, asking a few questions to ensure that I understood. I tried to explain some of my actions and apologized for my failures. I told her I knew that I was not perfect and that I tried hard each day, but some days just did not turn out like I planned.
We also talked about how much we all had grown to know and understand each other, much more than we did in August.
I told her that it had been difficult at first but was so much better now.
Last night I thought about all the times that I had failed because she could remember each one, but I know that the reason she could remember each is because there have not been that many. That actually life here was SO different that instead of pointing a finger at me for my wrongdoing, I think she wanted assurance that it would be this way.
Our prayer together last night included each of us asking God to help us and to help me be a better mom each day and for us to be more aware of each other's feelings. And that my hair cut mmake my hair longer.
She let me kiss her good night. And again tonight.
Monday, January 19, 2009
What a beautiful day!
Today was fantastic! I actually got to take a whole day off and did not check my email or voice mail (until now :)).
But I feel like I need to start with Sunday first.
When we were in China and would go out to a nicer restaurant, Annabel jumped up and down and wandered all through the restaurant during the meal. The guide would laugh and say what a great spirit she had or how bright she was. To me it was just reinforcing bad behavior.
When we got home, this continued for a while, especially eating out and at Mom and Dad's house.
Yesterday we had lunch at Mom and Dad's with some long time friends. One was a man I have known the majority of my life, who is now 96 and can still out work me on any project. The other is our missionary/friend who is in Iowa.
Annabel and Grace sat so quietly during the entire meal, eating their food quietly, and asking and answering in quiet tones. I was so impressed! They were perfect dolls. They whispered and asked if they could be excused to go play. I didn't blame them.
But I really enjoyed talking to our friend from Iowa about the weather there. He said they had snow drifts that were as high as their car hood. He told stories about getting stuck in snow drifts and basically disappearing and how important it was for each to watch out for the other. It made me shudder to think about. He explained that it was law to clear your sidewalks and driveways. He had lots of stories about someone going to rescue someone and them getting stuck. School is rarely called off because the kids would just be playing in the snow if there wasn't school! I'm sure the kids see advantages to that.
We ended the day working and playing outside. It was such an incredible day here you almost feel guilty for those in places like Iowa.
Today was great!
The priority for the day was to take Annabel to see our minister in the hospital.
But first Grace decided to cook breakfast. I am very impressed with her hard work and diligence to get a variety of things prepared. Annabel thought she might starve to death in the meantime and told everyone that it took Grace a "huge" time to cook.
But Grace had soup and bacon for them with hot chocolate and for me a bagel and coffee. Wow! I felt like I truly was having a vacation day. I can't believe she cooked bacon all on her one. She would not allow us into the kitchen until she was ready.
Then we had to get flowers to take to hospital. After a lot of discussion we made our purchase and headed to the hospital. At that point Annabel asked what the flowers were for. OK, is it just to keep me on my toes?
Once we found his room, Annabel basically parked herself. She had asked how long we would stay. I suggested 5 minutes. She wanted 20. I said maybe 10, so she bargained for 12.
We found him trying to eat lunch but seeing the girls meant much more than trying to eat while in a semi reclined position. He had three guest come in right after us and I suggested that we leave, but Annabel said no. Thankfully his wife came in and suggested we go see the display in the lobby.
The display is of bronze hands a famous people from around the world. It was very interesting to see the variation in those who do similar tasks. Van Cliburn's hands looked exactly how you would expect a pianist's hands to look, long and slender fingers. Roger Staubach's little finger had a big lump on one side where it had been broken. Your hands definitely show your age as we looked at some where the veins were so prominent and the hands looked so frail and delicate.
We had a quick lunch at the hospital and returned hoping to find some solutions to our storage crises. This house is great but I think our stuff is more than it can hold sometimes. It doesn't help that the closets are very small and I have one filled with treasures that I can't part with for now.
Instead the girls began playing and I made a quick trip to Home Depot. I have a beautiful sunroom that I wanted to make as my retreat. It has instead become the docking station for all bikes, skates, skateboards, and plasma cars. We have a garage and a shed, but both have dirt floors and doors that are very difficult to open. Anyway we are still working on a way to keep those bikes safe yet easily accessible so they will be ridden!
We are all off again tomorrow!
I have an appointment to get my hair cut but changing my mind! Annabel prayed that my hair cut would make my hair long. We'll see!
But I feel like I need to start with Sunday first.
When we were in China and would go out to a nicer restaurant, Annabel jumped up and down and wandered all through the restaurant during the meal. The guide would laugh and say what a great spirit she had or how bright she was. To me it was just reinforcing bad behavior.
When we got home, this continued for a while, especially eating out and at Mom and Dad's house.
Yesterday we had lunch at Mom and Dad's with some long time friends. One was a man I have known the majority of my life, who is now 96 and can still out work me on any project. The other is our missionary/friend who is in Iowa.
Annabel and Grace sat so quietly during the entire meal, eating their food quietly, and asking and answering in quiet tones. I was so impressed! They were perfect dolls. They whispered and asked if they could be excused to go play. I didn't blame them.
But I really enjoyed talking to our friend from Iowa about the weather there. He said they had snow drifts that were as high as their car hood. He told stories about getting stuck in snow drifts and basically disappearing and how important it was for each to watch out for the other. It made me shudder to think about. He explained that it was law to clear your sidewalks and driveways. He had lots of stories about someone going to rescue someone and them getting stuck. School is rarely called off because the kids would just be playing in the snow if there wasn't school! I'm sure the kids see advantages to that.
We ended the day working and playing outside. It was such an incredible day here you almost feel guilty for those in places like Iowa.
Today was great!
The priority for the day was to take Annabel to see our minister in the hospital.
But first Grace decided to cook breakfast. I am very impressed with her hard work and diligence to get a variety of things prepared. Annabel thought she might starve to death in the meantime and told everyone that it took Grace a "huge" time to cook.
But Grace had soup and bacon for them with hot chocolate and for me a bagel and coffee. Wow! I felt like I truly was having a vacation day. I can't believe she cooked bacon all on her one. She would not allow us into the kitchen until she was ready.
Then we had to get flowers to take to hospital. After a lot of discussion we made our purchase and headed to the hospital. At that point Annabel asked what the flowers were for. OK, is it just to keep me on my toes?
Once we found his room, Annabel basically parked herself. She had asked how long we would stay. I suggested 5 minutes. She wanted 20. I said maybe 10, so she bargained for 12.
We found him trying to eat lunch but seeing the girls meant much more than trying to eat while in a semi reclined position. He had three guest come in right after us and I suggested that we leave, but Annabel said no. Thankfully his wife came in and suggested we go see the display in the lobby.
The display is of bronze hands a famous people from around the world. It was very interesting to see the variation in those who do similar tasks. Van Cliburn's hands looked exactly how you would expect a pianist's hands to look, long and slender fingers. Roger Staubach's little finger had a big lump on one side where it had been broken. Your hands definitely show your age as we looked at some where the veins were so prominent and the hands looked so frail and delicate.
We had a quick lunch at the hospital and returned hoping to find some solutions to our storage crises. This house is great but I think our stuff is more than it can hold sometimes. It doesn't help that the closets are very small and I have one filled with treasures that I can't part with for now.
Instead the girls began playing and I made a quick trip to Home Depot. I have a beautiful sunroom that I wanted to make as my retreat. It has instead become the docking station for all bikes, skates, skateboards, and plasma cars. We have a garage and a shed, but both have dirt floors and doors that are very difficult to open. Anyway we are still working on a way to keep those bikes safe yet easily accessible so they will be ridden!
We are all off again tomorrow!
I have an appointment to get my hair cut but changing my mind! Annabel prayed that my hair cut would make my hair long. We'll see!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
More on prayers
I hope that all the "church" people did have a good day today!
Annabel keeps wanting to go to the hospital to visit our minister. He had back surgery and really has not been up for a lot of visitors, but each day Annabel asks Dad if he is going and can she go too.
Now when has this child actually ever visited a person in a hospital and has the ability to know and understand what it means? I don't think she has, so it is pretty funny. Today Grace wanted to know if his wife had seen his back and could tell how big the scar was. I'm so glad we have plenty to talk about.
Speaking of talking, we went to Costco today. Annabel went with Mom to get her glasses adjusted and Grace went with Dad to look at TVs. I made it through the grocery area all by myself.
We met back up in the snack area, one of Dad's favorite restaurants! Just kidding. But as soon as I was in sight, both girls had to start talking and telling me all that they had seen, the people, and the number of big TVs they had. Pretty much the conversation was non stop. I love that they missed me and filled me in on all I missed.
Our prayers again tonight included prayers for the church people, that Annabel might find her clock (watch), and she might have help cleaning house tomorrow. OK, sometimes it is really difficult to keep a straight face.
But it did remind me of when Grace first started praying.
It never seemed to fail that whatever she prayed for happened. A good friend's mother and father were going through a difficult time. One night Grace prayed that their furniture would be ok and that her father could get a job. She called the next day to say her dad got a job and there was something else about their house and furniture that did happen so we were convinced that Grace had a straight line up to heaven!
I have promised Annabel that we will go visit our minister Monday since we have the day off!
Annabel keeps wanting to go to the hospital to visit our minister. He had back surgery and really has not been up for a lot of visitors, but each day Annabel asks Dad if he is going and can she go too.
Now when has this child actually ever visited a person in a hospital and has the ability to know and understand what it means? I don't think she has, so it is pretty funny. Today Grace wanted to know if his wife had seen his back and could tell how big the scar was. I'm so glad we have plenty to talk about.
Speaking of talking, we went to Costco today. Annabel went with Mom to get her glasses adjusted and Grace went with Dad to look at TVs. I made it through the grocery area all by myself.
We met back up in the snack area, one of Dad's favorite restaurants! Just kidding. But as soon as I was in sight, both girls had to start talking and telling me all that they had seen, the people, and the number of big TVs they had. Pretty much the conversation was non stop. I love that they missed me and filled me in on all I missed.
Our prayers again tonight included prayers for the church people, that Annabel might find her clock (watch), and she might have help cleaning house tomorrow. OK, sometimes it is really difficult to keep a straight face.
But it did remind me of when Grace first started praying.
It never seemed to fail that whatever she prayed for happened. A good friend's mother and father were going through a difficult time. One night Grace prayed that their furniture would be ok and that her father could get a job. She called the next day to say her dad got a job and there was something else about their house and furniture that did happen so we were convinced that Grace had a straight line up to heaven!
I have promised Annabel that we will go visit our minister Monday since we have the day off!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Annabel's prayer tonight
After now I lay me down to sleep, she says quite loudly, just in case God is hard of hearing, I think:
And please help all the church people have a good day tomorrow.
And the man who gives us the quarters (Mom, what's his name? Wes) and please help him have a good night's sleep and be ok tomorrow and what else, Mom?
(That he gets well? His back feels better?)
Yea, and please help her have a good day tomorrow. (pronouns are still tricky)
And that all the people have good day.
For Annabel, like with Grace, learning that God does not require you to kowtow and beat your head on the ground to hear your prayers must be a huge relief. I love how they are eager to learn about God and the Bible. I know that Grace was taken to the Buddhist Pagoda and taught to burn incense, as she showed me how when we were there. I'm not sure about Annabel but will be glad when she can tell me more.
And please help all the church people have a good day tomorrow.
And the man who gives us the quarters (Mom, what's his name? Wes) and please help him have a good night's sleep and be ok tomorrow and what else, Mom?
(That he gets well? His back feels better?)
Yea, and please help her have a good day tomorrow. (pronouns are still tricky)
And that all the people have good day.
For Annabel, like with Grace, learning that God does not require you to kowtow and beat your head on the ground to hear your prayers must be a huge relief. I love how they are eager to learn about God and the Bible. I know that Grace was taken to the Buddhist Pagoda and taught to burn incense, as she showed me how when we were there. I'm not sure about Annabel but will be glad when she can tell me more.
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