Ups and downs

This has been one of those weeks where Annabel has had more ups and downs than anyone deserves.

At the end, I have felt like she was intent on doing one of the two things:

Proving to me that she is unlovable, unworthy, unwanted

or

So disappointed in me for believing her teacher over her that she is having trouble dealing with it.

Since our first weeks together, Annabel has settled into a pretty easy routine. There has been no acting out, shouting, screaming, like I read from other adoptive families. Instead misbehavior has usually because she did not understand, not purposely trying to cause problems.

But this week we have both struggled with the repercussions of the meeting I had with the teachers, principals, and counselors this week.

Each day we have struggled with minor incidences becoming major problems.

Tonight we came home from eating out with Mom and Dad, with a little shopping at the end.

She was so quiet and just at odds with herself.

She finally told me that she was filling sick to her stomach.

After a dose of tums, she was back to herself and full of talk and fun.

But each day there has been a little something that just did not set well with her.

I have told her over and over this week that I am here for ever as her mother. No more changes and no matter what has happened in the past, I am not that person. That doing something wrong does not make you a bad person.

She has also refused any compliments, but I did feel good that she came running back for her good bye kiss one morning!

In the meantime, Grace has been attending a human development class. Annabel forgot to bring her permission slip home, so she has been excluded from the class.

This must be the MOST thorough discussion on this topic, only not every thing is completely understood, so every day we are making sure that EVERYTHING is understood! BUT I am thankful I had checked a book out of the library because I wanted to make sure I got it all right and keep the lines open for more discussion when needed!Whew!

I told Grace that Mom had never really discussed all of these things with me, so now I think she has decided she will teach Mom. She has been making her sit down with her and she shares what she learned!

I've continued having problems keeping food down and so the doctor has moved the rest of my surgery up sooner than I wanted. I dread going through that again and don't want to upset our usual routine, but will be glad to finally get it completed.

We are looking forward to the weekend. First thing tomorrow is a pancake breakfast! Yum!