Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Annabelly and her ears

Tonight I asked Annabel if I could call her Belle or Bella instead of Wan Yun or Annabel.

She said no!

Annabelly!

That's what I have been calling her as a nickname, but I am not sure if she understands what your belly is. Maybe I will stick with Annabel or Wan Yun, which I mispronounce terribly.

Why I would ever make us an 8:10 a.m. doctor's appointment is beyond me, but I think it was the first available and I grabbed it.

I had forgotten that we were out of eggs and a toasted bagel wasn't going to cut it for Annabel or Grace, so I thought we would get there early enough to eat out. I was not familiar with the doctor's building or even the hospital's area, so we ended up getting there just in time to search out a vending machine to stop one person from saying every few minutes, "I HUNGRY!!!"

Of course you already know there isn't a "good" breakfast in a vending machine, but it stopped the hunger long enough for the examination.

A quick aside.

I was trying to send this earlier but I am FOREVER losing my bifocals. (This time they were where I had been planting flowers!)

Anyway, her doctor had the neatest glasses that split and then hung around his neck! And they were RED!

So it took me a while to focus on the exam because I was so intrigued by those glasses! I had NO COFFEE! Sorry!

The doctor took one look in her ears and said she had no ear drum in one ear, the left one, and minimal hearing at this time. The other had, maybe bone marrow, scar tissue, but it was not affecting her hearing, so he would suggest leaving it alone.

After discussing all the potential problems with the surgery, including facial paralysis, loss of hearing, and that the surgery just did not work, I still agreed to proceed with the surgery at the first possible appointment. Until then she has no protection of her middle ear and no hearing on that side. It will be day surgery and while she will be down a few days, I pray that the long term impact will be HUGE!

Somehow she understands that she needs surgery. It makes me wonder if she was examined in China and someone explained it there.

At this point, all she wanted was us to HURRY! so she could get to school! Her friends would not know where she was!!

As I took her to school, Grace and I continued on to her doctor for her sinus infection.

I'm not sure how someone with a dozen kids does it. I wonder if there is someone sick all the time. I don't have very many vacation days left after being off from the adoption, so I have to get both well as quickly as possible.

Grace stopped at the restroom while I registered her in the doctor's office. All of a sudden all the lights went out! I felt my way down the hall to the women's restroom where there was NO LIGHT at all and helped Grace get out of the stall and back to the doctor's office.

You stay with me and you can always count on an adventure!!!!

Monday, September 29, 2008

School without Grace!

The school day barely got started before I received a call that Grace was sick and needed to be picked up.

Grace had worked long and hard on her Rube Goldberg machine for science and I knew she was not feeling well. But she did create an expandable hand to remove bugs safely and return to the outdoors without killing them.

I wanted to make sure that Annabel understood that Grace was going home. I went to their class and I think she understood, but was more anxious that I leave the classroom so she could get her work done on the computer.

As we were leaving they were having a fire drill.

It didn't dawn on me that no one would explain to her what was happening.

Grace and I spent a very quiet day, unless my eyes closed for a minute and then she needed to talk to me!

Annabel came home with lots of news about school.

First - No homework! Ms. Wu evidently came and helped her with her homework before she left.

Then she had news that at school they had WOO! WOO! WOO! today. I knew that was the fire drill but did not know how to explain it if you are trying to act things out. Grace did a good Chenglish explanation but still not sure if she thinks the school was actually on fire or understood the idea of a drill.

She had a long conversation with Nina then about, "what cho doin Nina?" Nina is not very conversational. If you don't have a treat or a scratch behind the ears, she gets bored quickly.

Poppa asked her what she had for lunch. This had been discussed earlier with us as well. So here is what she had:

4 chicken
1 green
orange
muka

Dad said, "one green"? What is that?

Annabel decided to pack her lunch and took the last 4 chicken wings, or 4 chicken. She packed a container of mandarin oranges. Then she wanted to add a dessert. She chose some apple flavored gummy fruit treats that were GREEN. That would be the 1 green.

The muka is milk and she had peach flavored.

This is the milk that we have searched all Asian markets for and now I am concerned about letting them drink it after the scare with baby formula.
Another thing they have recalled is a type of candy that both love called "White Rabbit". In fact Annabel had several pieces the night before the news story came out.

Tomorrow is her appointment with the otologist. She is ok with it as long as they are not going to cut her ear. I am anxious to hear the new doctor's take on what needs to be done. All this time with that type of injury and no medicine, not even an antibiotic. It will also be nice to get her hearing corrected.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Chocolate chips, 6 long, and dog have circle head?

The weekend flies by and sometimes I feel that we have run from one thing to the next.

On Saturday, Marcie met us for breakfast and then shopping for plants.


I had read a review of The Original Pancake House and been dreaming of the "best" bacon in Dallas ever since. It lived up to the review and definitely does have the best bacon. I ordered the Bacon Lovers Eggs and Pancakes for Annabel, with her understanding that part of the bacon was to be shared. It was difficult for her to give it up!

Too many carbs wear off too quickly so the flower shopping was cut short, but enough to spruce up our yard and some for Marcie's new house.

The "Green Pet" store was having their grand opening. Against my better judgment, we took our two maniacal dogs to try to find a better collar to help make our walks not be traumatic!!! Between the dogs barking incessantly and Annabel saying "I NO English!" and Grace was trying to cut a piece of chocolate cake, everyone knew we had arrived! And more thankful when we left.

Mom and Dad were expecting friends from Iowa and hoped we would go to eat with the group. But I think those situations make Annabel feel left out, so we opted to find "Chinese" instead.

This is so crazy that we continue to look for more of a "Mom and Pop" or I guess "Momma and Bobba" kind of Chinese restaurant, where we could become "regulars". This one almost fit the bill, with the Bobba taking initial order, Momma coming out of the kitchen to have a look, and son returning from delivering orders.

One slight problem, they spoke Cantonese, rather than Mandarin.

I'm not sure if the girls felt the same, but I felt like we were on display and was ready to leave.

We got to visit the friends after dinner and the girls enjoyed playing with their new twin granddaughters. Annabel would pick up one and take her to someone else. Grace would have kept both for the rest of the night!

I saw that when I first adopted Grace too. I believe they are called upon to care for anyone younger than them while in the orphanage. If you have been responsible for so many at such a young age, it doesn't feel like any fun to play with small children. Grace has just recently begun to show an interest in any child younger than herself.


Sunday starts with Annabel asking if she can have 6 LONGS again. Six Longs? Mom, you, me, Grace, Marcie, pandas?

Pandas? Hmmm, what could that be?

Grace is sure she wants pancakes. But I can't think that longs would mean pancakes.

Then she starts gesturing something rectangular shape.

Bacon?

Yes, yes, bacon, can I have 6?

We go for breakfast and this time Grace has chocolate chips on her pancakes.

Annabel - what's that?

Choclat

Me?

Now this is hard for Grace to give up, but she does share and Annabel is a new fan of chocolate chips! (she first put them in her pocket, until I convinced her they would melt and she could not eat them)

After Chinese school, Annabel announces that Grace's teacher must not be good since Grace - no homework, me (Annabel) lots of homework, so her teacher is good. She starts work on it immediately on the way home.

I cleaned out the freezer and needed to get rid of some things. I cooked a bunch of chicken wings and pizza rolls.

Annabel decides the pizza rolls are "gouda" (good). She asks for more.

We visit a friend's baby's first birthday party. Annabel came back from where the children were playing and waved her hand in front of her nose and said "all boys", blech!

The much dreaded Max Goldberg project that Grace was assigned is due on Monday. We had put it off as long as we could and while I am trying to understand what is needed, Annabel is working on her Chinese homework.

Every few minutes, "MOM!"

"Mom, Ollie/Nina head circle?"

Are Ollie and Nina's heads circles? I guess so.

Good

"Mom, Ollie/Nina eyes circles?"

OK...., yes I guess so.

"Mom, Ollie/Nina mouse black?"

Mouse black ..... mouth? I think it is red or pink.

Grace what English for by bed, Ollie/Nina snore, snore (sound only). Write English.

Pillow?

Yes, yes, Ollie/Nina sleep my pillow, long on floor.

That would be her body pillow that she puts on the floor and Ollie and Nina have claimed!

This was part of her Chinese homework and it was too funny to hear it read. I'm not sure if I would have written a description of the shape of their heads for a report. There was also a question about the color of their eyes, black? Yes, black.

We also got into a discussion about her sister in Jiangxi, which means it was in China. She ran and got her pictures that were sent with her from the orphanage and shows me a picture of a little girl. Best guess is that she is a foster sister, but I have posted on a yahoo group in hopes to find her. She knows she was adopted in 2004 at the age of 5. Grace has never been interested in finding her foster brother. I think he is probably here in the US, but will not pursue it for now.

We were doing our 20 minutes of reading and Annabel said, "wait!"

She still had 2 of those pizza rolls and brought them to bed with her! I guess she does like them!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

A lot of fun but some worries

Tonight my mind is racing and wish Bill Gates would invent a machine to translate my thoughts onto my blog!

One of the Chinese adoption yahoo groups has asked for positive thoughts and white light be sent to a region of China where a group of US docs and Chinese docs will be performing neuro and gastro surgery on severe cases for children in the orphanages in China. This was accomplished through a group of women who have established a foundation and raised funds for these surgeries.

It's humbling(?) to think of what can be accomplished.

It is challenging too.

I work at a hospital.

I surely have access to some docs.

Is there more I can do?

There are so many children who need so much.

I look at my two girls and see so much potential, so much happiness, so much love to share. I wish every child could have the opportunity to just have a family. They don't need all the material things, but they do need the love, stability, and opportunity to grow.

My other musing for this evening is based on a meeting at work today.

We had a speaker who does statistics of consumer behavior.

He was specifically addressing the consumer driven behavior of minorities. He had expanded his research to include people from Asia. So much of what he reported sounded very familiar, the importance of maintaining two languages, the importance of higher education, cash payments, rather than credit.

I think about two birth mothers in China and wonder if I am doing the job that they hoped would happen when they left their babies for someone else to find. Am I maintaining the heritage of their birth?

OK, now that I have written it down, maybe I can reflect on all the fun in the last 2 days.

My good friend and former co-worker Danny was here on Thursday. We met while I was working at UNT. Danny was a student and came for his internship to work with me. He was so good that I hired him and began to expand the services we could provide. Along the way we had a great time and tons of laughs.

OK, this isn't an old friends blog, so onto the girls.

Grace continues to make huge strides in her piano playing. She has improved enough to move to familiar songs that are also more challenging. She just amazes me.

As soon as piano was over we hurried home to meet Danny for dinner.

He was anxious to meet Annabel.

She didn't disappoint him.

Her personality came through in a hurry when she announced with her arms folded across her chest, "I NO ENGLISH! You (hands flapping) blah blah blah." It does make it difficult and I feel for her. I remember the frustration Grace felt when she realized everyone was speaking a different language from her. Sometimes it is long and tedious to get an understanding between us.

But an offer of ice cream after dinner brought a "Woo! Hoo!" and back to good spirits.

The girls did not have school today due to staff development. I am so thankful to have Mom and Dad next door so I can go to work and know the girls have a good place to be.

My niece, Marcie was also off today also, but her school was out for Fair Day.

For anyone out of the area, the State Fair of Texas opened today. We always have a good time, but the weather for the fair typically is only one of two ways, HOT or raining. Today was no exception and it was plenty HOT.

But I am getting ahead.

Marcie was able to get free tickets for all of us. "Woo! Hoo!"

She guided us to one of her favorite exhibits that I had never seen. A variety of animals, most with babies, that you can feed. I think we could have stayed there the whole time. I'll have to get Marcie to show me how to include her pics on my blog. Annabel was in awe of every animal. It was like the next pen was even better than the last. Grace is much more subdued and loved being that close to all these "pets".

We had just a short time to visit but we saw a lot.

Too bad our fair is known for the fried foods. UGH! And I tried at least a couple. We didn't try the chicken friend bacon, but did have a corny dog and funnel cake. Dad gave each of us $5 to spend. Things are so expensive there, but the girls got to buy a bottle of milk and ride the log ride with theirs. (I used mine to buy the feed for all the animals!)

Annabel was so impressed with the giant Big Tex. I tried to show her some real cowboys but not even sure if there is a Chinese word for cowboy. There aren't a lot of cows in China!

Grace was more worried as to why Big Tex's color seems darker. I tried to explain that he had gotten a tan. "Really?"

We had a great time and glad to visit the fair. Annabel will appreciate the significance later. Grace was still trying to distinguish the fair from Six Flags!

One word of advice - Never go to the fair with my sister Lisa.

She has to see every exhibit, take their literature, sample all the fried treats, and stay until they close. I liked Marcie's way where we got to see a sampling of a lot of exhibits.

When we were younger, the school would give you a ticket AND a bus pass. My brave mother took all 4 of us more than once to the fair on the bus! I don't know how she did it. I don't know how they afforded for all of us to go. One year a kid threw up on the bus on the ride home. Within two weeks, we started, one at a time, developing mumps. Poor Dad was the last one to catch it. My poor mother, first the fair, and then all of us spreading mumps, one to the other!

Tomorrow is the first Saturday I can remember in ages with NOTHING scheduled. Annabel kept asking what we were doing tomorrow and I just said nothing!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

A big change and an early morning funny!

To start, the early morning funny - Annabel was going through the house this morning singing, "We will, we will rock you! Rock you! We will, we will rock you! Rock you!". Grace explained that Annabel's peng (friend) taught her that at school. Peng sounds like pon yo.

It was almost as funny to hear as Grace singing, "O my darlin', O my darlin'" in Goofy's voice.

Back to the big change.

When Jana and the girls stayed with me that month, I was in charge of laundry.

I washed my clothes the way Mom taught me. So I would ask if they had any wearable whites or wearable colors that needed to be washed. Jana looked at me so odd and asked what I was talking about.

To me, you did not wash your clothes that you wear with your towels, sheets, etc. They were a separate load, washed in cold water, probably fabric softener added. The same with colors. Towels, sheets, dish towels, etc. were in warm water, a longer cycle even. She laughed and laughed, but I continued my process; always making sure the machine was never overcrowded, so everything would get nice and clean. Their only little spa or whirlpool as it were.

When I adopted Grace, I had to adjust it a little.

She only had 1 pair of pants that she would wear and it is hard to make a full load of wearable whites sometimes, so they would get washed with sheets and towels.

Now with Annabel, I catch myself trying to wedge just one more wash cloth in and still make the lid shut. I never would have thought adding one small child to your household could increase the volume of laundry so dramatically. I feel like I am in the movie, "Yours, mine, and Ours" just trying to get through all the clothes each week. It seems to multiply over night.

I have learned an important lesson also.

My mother always smells of clothes to see if they are clean.

I have always done the same.

NO MORE!!!

If you see a pair of girl's panties laying around, assume they are dirty. DO NOT SMELL! Just wash them anyway.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Evening ritual

A big thanks to Gloria for her birthday gift to Grace. Grace wanted a bigger bike and Gloria was determined she would have one. So with her help Grace got a bigger bike. This allowed Annabel to have Grace's smaller bike.

Our evening ritual, after dinner and homework is completed, consists of the girls jumping on their bikes while I struggle walking the dogs!

This is the same neighborhood where I loved to ride my bike. Mine was a classy Stingray with the banana seat and tall handle bars. I loved that bike! Usually my cousin Dubby and I were out riding up one block and down the other, up to the school grounds, and back home.

Now I am doing the same with my girls.

They LOVE their bikes.

They love riding fast, but wait patiently for Ollie, Nina, and me to catch up at each intersection. Annabel is still learning our rules of the road.

We have several accidents each night, but they jump up, brush themselves off, and catch up with the other.

Nina worries the whole time that she is going to be left behind and works the hardest to get caught up.

We go up and down the same streets Dubby and I did when we were younger. I just wish Moore's grocery was still on the corner. Then they could collect coke bottles until they got enough to split a Popsicle!

Annabel makes each trip a little special though. She remarks "beautiful!" several times each night. Tonight's "beautiful" was somebody's solar lights marking the path to their door. Functional is what I thought when I saw them, but for her, they were "beautiful".
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Monday, September 22, 2008

Some days you are the windshield and some days you are the bug!

We had such a great time this weekend, especially with Lisa and Marcie. Lisa is an amazing photographer even if she can't remember how to log on and posts under my name!



Then Sunday we had Chinese school.



Annabel's teacher showed pictures of his book signings in China at the first class. He is standing under a banner of Harvard's elite graduates in one picture. Among other things, he teaches Chinese at one of the local colleges.



He greeted me with exclamations of how BRILLIANT Annbel is, how she is smarter than anyone else in the class. In fact, he feels she is smarter than most of his college students. I thought to myself that I wish everyone could know but they would have to take the time to understand and translate.

After Chinese school was the great Chuck E Cheese. No lack of brains on that one, she completely understands the games and the PRIZES (a rubber lizard this time).

Dinner with Mom and Dad celebrating Grace and my fourth anniversary completed a great weekend.

But reality has to get in the way sometimes.

I have been trying to locate a doctor to do the surgery on Annabel's ears. There are none in our network. This means going outside the network and paying a LOT more, for every part of the procedure, doctors, tests, hospital, everything.

But after learning about what happened at school today it cannot be too soon.

Today Annabel was supposed to understand the orders her teacher gave and since she did not, she took her book, and put it on her desk. This was one of her treasured Chinese books.

I have no idea if Annabel could even hear the teacher, doubt that she understood (all in English), and probably was so scared she would be in trouble for losing that book that she sat at her desk and cried while the rest of the class went to lunch.

Finally Ms. Wu was available to come and explain.

By then lunch was over.

She had to eat alone.

That afternoon something else was said or done that made her cry again.

Now I just want to cry. This is a child who is very tough on the outside. Crying is very RARE. Fear is what she knows. I resent anyone who uses fear to discipline a child.

It reminds of the time when Grace came home so very sad. A classmate had told her she was Chinese, as if that was bad. He continued to use this against her for the next few years. Thankfully we could talk about it and find better ways of dealing with this perceived threat or disgrace. He had nothing else to intimidate her with other than her ethnicity, because she surpassed him academically, socially, and of course behaviorally.

How sad that parents raise their children to threaten and intimidate their peers. But in a position of authority it is even worse.

But if any of it is due to a lack of hearing, repairing her ears must be a priority.

Happy Anniversary Grace!

Sunday marked our 4 year anniversary! It seems so hard to believe that 4 years have past since I adopted Grace.

I looked at some old pictures today and was surprised at how quickly she has grown and matured.

She is becoming a tween right before my eyes.

Our usual anniversary celebration is dinner at Antares, on top of the big ball downtown. The first year I wanted her to see the whole area! After that it was fun to have a tradition.

This year the restaurant is being remodeled.

Second choice to fancy dinner atop a ball overlooking downtown?

That's easy!

Chuck E Cheese, of course!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

More Grace, Annabel, and Jerri











GRACEANNABEL!




This is how Jerri says their names - all in one word. Much like Annabel says, "NINAOLLIE"! Almost everything Annabel says is in all caps. She's great. I'm so pleased for Jerri and Grace that they've found such a wonderful child to complete their family.

Oop's, forgot to say this is Aunt Lisa posting. Disguised as Jerri. ;)

PS - This is Ollie.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Another new experience!

Today Annabel got her first hair cut in a salon.

But first she got her hair washed. It was very difficult not to laugh when she tried to sit with her face down in the bowl instead of on her back.

Expressions were captured and I hope I can figure out how to load them.

Thankfully we have a professional coming tomorrow for pictures! Be on the look out tomorrow!

One last thing - dinner at Chick fil a began with another laugh when Annabel went into the men's restroom by mistake, then thought Grace was kidding her about her mistake!

One last stop. The public library downtown in hopes of finding a book in Chinese!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Mom, you happy?

For those who have adopted from China, most have discovered all the yahoo groups of people who have also adopted. These range from the orphanage your child is from, the city you live in, various groups for different ages, and many I probably don't know about.

On these you can discuss your fears, concerns, good news, joys to an audience that can empathize with you because they have BTDT (been there, done that). But sometimes they also can paint a bleak picture.

When I worked on my masters in rehab counseling, I had to take a class on the physical aspects of disabilities. We learned about so many disabling diseases, conditions, injuries. I was sure I had every one of them, unless it mentioned unexplained weight loss! I knew I didn't have that one.

All of these yahoo groups make me feel the same way, I am sure I will have the problems (yes, focus only on the negatives) that others have had.

We are almost at the 2 month mark and things have calmed down so much it feels hard to believe. I think I keep feeling like we are only in our "honeymoon" phase and it won't last.

But today was a great example of our new life as a family.

Thursday started with an early meeting for me, so the girls went next door and Grandmother fixed (for those in other states, cooked) breakfast and got them to school. I'm not sure that Annabel understood and know she has no clue what I do or where I go while they are at school.

After school was piano for Grace. When I called and told them to get ready, Annabel decided she would stay with Grandmother/Grandmother. (Somehow she has begun calling mom and dad the same name.)

By the time I got home, she decided she would go too.

She took her Nintendo (which I still need to send thank you cards to the wonderful friends who took care of buying it) and has one game, Dogs. On this game you give your dog commands. She named her dog "YoYo", which is Chinese for swim and the name of her stuffed dog too. She yells at that Nintendo to sit, roll over, with such a strong accent, I wonder if it can recognize what she is saying.

So while Grace played Mozart (which sounded a lot like Yankee Doodle), Annabel played Nintendo, and I answered emails.

Afterward we stopped at the library looking for "Year of the Rat" by Grace Lin for Grace. Annabel was so disappointed to learn they did not have Chinese books. They have some at the downtown branch and promised we would go soon.

A Chinese buffet was planned for dinner. It is very entertaining to go where the waitstaff all speak Chinese. They are so amazed at this tiny child who speaks in such a strong voice their native language. They are fascinated by her. I know they are trying to figure out this family where there are 2 Chinese daughters, one speaking Chinese, the other not, and a mother who seems to understand both!

Homework went until it was dark, but I am determined to get all of us out, including the dogs, at least once a day. So we took a quick run to the school and ran around the playground for a while.

There was still time to do our reading for the night.

Annabel again mentioned no Chinese books. I showed her all her Chinese books and like all 11 year olds had forgotten about them!

I laid on Grace's bed and Annabel actually patted hers and said, "Mom, my bed?"

I don't know if the concept of tomorrow works, but I promised her bed tomorrow, the whole time thrilled I was even asked.

Then she looked up and said, "Mom, you happy?".

Yes, I am very happy.

Are you?

Mmmmm, yeah.

A little or a lot.

Mmmmm, a lot.

Woo! Hoo!

She has no idea how big an impact what a small conversation makes!

When something goes wrong, milk spilled, food she doesn't like, any number of other things, she says, "Mom?" and puts her hands on her hips.

No, I'm not hands on hips (mad).

Oh, ok, Thanks Mom!

I think she is surprised that I understand that she is a child and even grown ups make mistakes, but no reason to be hands on hips (mad). No face slapping, no punishments, no spanking here, just an attempt to understand, show love, and allow a child to grow.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Glad for a rut for a change!

We have actually had two days in a row without much going on and it has been so nice. Tonight I made it outside while they were riding their bikes. I am bound and determined to train these crazy dogs, but they still have a different idea. So we enjoyed being outside together.

It is so much fun to hear Grace laugh.

I have never heard her laugh as much before as she does now with her sister. It is so great. When they are outside it is just a constant in the background.

Last night I tried to help Annabel with her math homework. It is on place values and decimals. That is pretty hard to act out! Some of the word problems we just had to skip.

One of the teachers told Grace that Annabel needs to practice her English on the internet. OK. That would be great if we had a computer for them. The only one we have is my laptop and I am not sharing! So I guess that we will keep acting out our English words instead! It makes it a real family affair.

OK, we have just had a talk about our bowels! Have you ever tried to understand when a child is telling you in Chinese that they are constipated? The acting out on this one was hysterical. We have now acted out normal bowel movements and constipated ones. Thank goodness we are not trying to convey diarrhea tonight!

When I read of others' experiences in China and home, I feel truly blessed as to the ease of the adjustments Annabel has made. She is a remarkable child and obviously brilliant! She takes after her mom and sister!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I hope this is appropriate to add to my blog!

I don't know these people and cannot imagine going through what they are. They need prayers and know many of you will help.


"The Irwin family is in KunMing CHina right now with a very sick little girl. (Susannah) They had their gotcha day at the hospital.Needless to say, this is a crisis and we need to be thinking of them in the upcoming days. If you are a prayer warrior, please pray for them and their daughter. They need to find a way to get her back to the US as fast as posssible--as safely as possible. Having been in this position, I know God can arm you with a momma bear instinct and you "get it done". The family could really use our prayer support.Their blog is here:http://www.roomfora tleastonemore. blogspot. com/"

Quandary

Annabel used two different Chinese/English cards yesterday to ask if she could buy a stuffed animal.

I asked if she had any money.

She laughed and said no.

She knows that Grace has LOTS of toys of all kinds, polly pockets, barbies, books, stuffed animals, legos, thousands of art projects, an easel, who knows what else?

But Annabel has a baby doll, a few stuffed animals, nintendo, and that's about it.

So Annabel needs toys, but Grace doesn't.

Grace pouts.

What do I do? I know I can't make it even, but what do I do? Plus I can't just buy a bunch of toys right now, it's not Christmas or birthday.

So what do I do?

Monday, September 15, 2008

I see surgery in our future

We went back to see the doctor about Annabel's ears.

The CT scan was complete, a hearing test conducted, and no improvement or change since last time.

So after the doctor looked at her ears, all the reports, he told us what he did from the beginning:

She needs surgery to repair the holes in her ears.

Now the part that is frustrating -

After all of this he explains that he does not do surgery on children's ears and will need to refer us to someone else.

AAARRRGGHHHH!!

So we have spent the better part of a month and no telling how much money AND time to get to this point.

Now we will start again with another doctor who will want to do his own tests to determine that she needs surgery on her ears. She has significant "temporary" hearing loss in one ear due to the damage. Most docs want to wait for a child to reach 14 years old to do this surgery, but because of the amount of hearing loss and the size of the hole, especially in her left ear, he does recommend that we do follow through with the surgery.

DUH!!

I was actually hoping that we could get the surgery done this week, that's how serious I feel like it is.

To top it off, they did not give me the new doc's contact info, they will call/contact me with it. I don't have a lot of patience on waiting to get this corrected for her sake!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

FCC Culture Day and where is Ike?

Saturday began with the threat of Hurricane Ike causing all manner of destruction and problems for our area. But we had a fun party to get to so we headed out to the annual FCC Culture Day. Annabel was so excited to go to a party. I wasn't sure how else to describe culture day. There were so many great exhibits, crafts to make, photos to snap, lunch, seeing old and new friends, any concern about the decision to go disappeared.




Self portrait by Annabel. My camera is her favorite thing to use! I left out a lot of pictures because I didn't think you wanted to see the ceilings, floors, and walls!

Annabel wowed everyone with her ability to write in Chinese. Everyone involved in this activity had to tell me how smart she was. I believe it for sure!

Grace found another instrument she could play and played it very well. She was playing Twinkle Twinkle in a matter of minutes on this traditional Chinese instrument. The man who showed her how said there was no one in the area who could teach her to play. How sad! I think I will keep looking though.



Thank the Good Lord, Ike caused very few problems for us. It instead hung around Paris, Texas so long that it almost floated away! Dad was disappointed that we did not get the 4-6 inches that were forecast.
We were glad to hear that our relatives were all safe. They chose not to evacuate, but are fine. Some do not have power, but all are safe and that's what matters! The clouds here made an incredible display at sunset here as Ike moved out of the area.

Happy Mid Autumn Moon Festival

Today again we headed to Chinese school, Annabel's favorite part of the week.


Her teacher from last week had to track me down and say how smart she is. Her class was mainly junior high (?) boys. She did not appear to be intimated by anyone, even the Harvard graduate teacher!!

That teacher made sure I knew how smart he thought she was too.

Grace, on the other hand, was about the oldest in her class. But she needed a teacher who spoke English to the class, so this is probably the right level for her.

Afterward we went to a Chinese market and found these cute moon cakes to help celebrate the holiday tonight. I was glad to find them "sweet" and not part of a $20 shipment!



This is us enjoying our moon cakes before we went outside to enjoy the namesake of the festival.
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Friday, September 12, 2008

Way Over Due pictures

Annabel's first trip to Luby's

Annabel and Darcey discussing the merits of fried okra vs. corn! Heavy subject!

Jello is good for eating, playing, and making strange faces.
If my cousin does it, then I must do it!
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First Day of School

I wish I was as fast at posting pictures as Holly was, but here are the first day of school pictures.
Annabel refused to have her picture made without making a strange face.
Thank Goodness for Ms. Wu who saved the day on the first day of school!!

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Grandparent's Day!

Thank Goodness that Mom and Dad are good sports!
We took Mom and Dad to Golden Corral to celebrate Grandparent's Day! Obviously Dad has a new fan!
OK, if my sister has on sunglasses I need to wear them too!
I guess they were movie stars for the day! It just makes me laugh to look at them!!
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A Huge Breakthrough!

Annabel actually kind of extended her arms for a hug today!

Then we went to a Chinese buffet for dinner, which is one of the favorites for the girls. At least there are usually some wait staff that can speak Chinese.

It doesn't help much if you have difficulty understanding the person who is translating for you, but the waitress told me that Annabel knows she was fortunate to be adopted. Somehow she also knew about how much it cost. Now how did Annabel know that?

09/11 is Poppa's Birthday!


Yesterday was Dad's birthday.

We decided we needed a special celebration and invited a few of his nearest and dearest friends. You know you are well loved when 40 people come and that was from just a couple of groups you are involved with! Plus if you have those who are aged 98 to 8 months, then you have a broad base of fans too!!

I had tried to explain to Annabel about the birthday party for Dad. I don't think she had completely understood.

She came to me at one point and kept saying "seven", "seven", "Mom, seven"! My best guess is that seven people had arrived because then she went and began counting people coming through the door.

My co-worker brought her baby, who is such a cutie, and Grace claimed him immediately. She carried him around the entire time. It was so cute. He seemed perfectly content to be wagged around too.

Only Annabel began to feel left out. She tried showing her baby doll but he wasn't interested.

With all the guests arriving she appeared to feel lost. I never know if it is the language barrier or her ears and problems with hearing.

I saw it coming and knew she needed a job. My best guess is in the group home, each child had a job. But she needed a special one, so I put my camera in her hand and thus the collage above.

Don't worry Mom and Dad, I took out some of the less flattering CLOSE UPS!!

I don't think my sister Lisa needs to worry about being replaced yet.

The party was great fun but never could have happened if friends had not taken over the all the food duties!

When most of the guests had left, my girls decided it was time for some entertainment. They sang several Chinese songs together. I am so proud that Annabel has helped Grace remember these children's songs she knew before.

Later that evening I heard some strange sounds from the TV Dad was watching. I realized it was a replay of video from 9/11/2001. It was difficult to watch. This time showed video that I had never seen. It was the first time the girls had seen anything about what happened. They knew and understood that a lot of people were killed, but I am not sure if they understood why.

One video showed people demanding that all of "those" people be tracked down and killed. The camera panned showing some of "those" people. I pray that the people from China will never be "those" people. I don't want my daughters to experience that type of prejudice.
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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

If I were Annabel

There is a TV show called Me or the Dog or something like that.

The trainer showed one owner the viewpoint of the dog.

It got me thinking about some of the questions that Annabel has asked her teacher, Ms. Wu.

Yesterday she came home again with a sheet of paper where Ms. Wu had translated some questions about our life.

First and foremost this time, was could we go out to eat?

I had gotten out of the habit of cooking, but decided that I could prepare more wholesome meals that a lot of the choices like KFC or McDonalds. So I had bought everything to make stir fried pork. Didn't have a recipe, but just threw in what I thought would taste good.

They scarfed it down like it was delicious.

Her next question was about fruit. She wanted a mango. Somehow I act out that we will get it tomorrow. She was ok if she could just have an orange instead.

Grace finally remembered to tell me that we were to call Ms. Wu at 8:15.

We three sat in anticipation of this phone call. I am not sure what their thoughts were, but I was anxious to know if there was other info I needed. Annabel was just excited to talk to someone in Chinese.

The time finally came and Annabel and she talked for a while, then she asked to speak to me.

She explained that for Annabel, Grace and I appear very open about things. That in China you must be very careful about what you say, what you write, what you draw, what you own, as the government is always watching.

You have to be very careful not to betray or disagree with the government in any way.

At 11 years old she has a stronger understanding of politics than most Americans. She at least knows and understands what it is like to live in a communist country, to live under the constant threat of punishment, imprisonment, and who knows what else.

To be in the US then must feel so different. I am sure we appear wasteful, driving places instead of walking. Food stocked in every cabinet and a refrigerator full.

To speak openly and honestly about our opinions with no fear.

To come and go as we please.

I am still learning what else has been such a shock to her. I hope when she can speak more English, she will tell us.

But in the meantime she is becoming a "regular" US child, riding her bike, roller skating, going to school, visiting Grandmother Grandfather, as she calls them, taking care of Nina Ollie. (What part of speech is "and"? I don't think they have them in Chinese!!)

One last thing.

Each morning we walk to school.

As soon as we get to Mom and Dad's driveway, she begins to yell in her loudest voice, "Goodbye Grandmother! Goodbye Grandfather!" She continues until we cross the street at the school.

Mom and Dad are usually in the kitchen watching the news and can't hear her, so Mom suggested they ring the doorbell instead.

This morning it was a race between Grace and Annabel to ring that doorbell (probably about 100 times!), then the farewells could be addressed in person. Mom was slower getting out the door and Annabel yelled at Grace, "Grace!! Grandmother!!" In other words, say goodbye to Grandmother!

Starts the morning off pretty funny!

We are trying to get ready for Dad's birthday party on Thursday. I might have to have it in just one room and put Ollie and Nina to guard access to the others! If anyone comes in wearing "white gloves" they will be dismissed!!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

So much in such a short time!

So much has happened in so short a time.

It is hard to believe that almost seven years have past since that fateful day that changed the US.

I am grateful to all who have made our security and safety their priority and protected us from subsequent attacks. I understand that there are still risks but feel we do value our freedoms as never before.

For me, there doesn't seem to be any similarity to what my life was like then. I was in Phoenix with a friend attending a conference. Even though we could have stayed as long as we wanted, we immediately tried to get a way home. We had to know that everyone at home was safe.

I had not even thought about adoption then.

Darcey was still just a thought, a plan. It wasn't until I saw her the first time that I knew I wanted to adopt!

On a much shorter time frame, Tuesday will be one month since we returned home.

Some things for Annabel have happened quickly. Some are taking a long time.

On Friday, she tasted her first nacho and tortilla. Mom and Dad took us to Chili's for dinner. That was a nice treat.

Afterward Dad insisted on using a $20 credit at WalMart to help buy Grace a new bike. She has outgrown her 20", which is perfect for Annabel. Grace needed a 24" which is difficult to find. But Dad had done the legwork and found just the right one. They were so excited to get home and each have a bike to ride.

When we were growing up on this same street, we could only go as far as the two trees, which are long gone. But the girls are very careful to stay within our line of sight, until they have to go farther and we go to the school together.

Saturday the girls had a good time with the baby sitter. I met them at the pool, only they had taken a break and were feeding the fish. It was hard to pull them away from the fun.

When we were at the doctor's office, I realized they were having so much fun with the more toddler type of toys. It dawned on me that neither had ever had "toddler" toys. So we stopped at a garage sale on our way home looking. While we didn't find that, the girls were thrilled with the leftover baby clothes to use for their babies.

Later in the afternoon, I decided to give the dogs a bath. I don't think Annabel had ever seen a dog get a bath. She was so tickled by it!! Those dogs have never been so loved!!

Today was the first day of Chinese school. Annabel has waited 2 weeks for it to start. We had pre-registered but the classes we were signed up for were not the right level for the girls. The one that Grace was in was only in Chinese and Annabel's had kids about 4 or 5 years older than her.

We finally found the right classes, but discovered the only one for Grace is offered from 12 -2. We'll have to make some adjustments to get there in plenty of time though.

While we continue to introduce Annabel to new things, we are constantly making adjustments emotionally. I feel like at times we are on a roller coaster, then we are just sky diving without a parachute, and then we end up sailing on a lake as smooth as glass. I have to admit, at times it is exhausting.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Is this normal?

I made a quick escape to my private bath, my sanctuary, my retreat. But quickly our two dogs were DESPERATE for some love and care.

Then the door slams open and it is Annabel with a piece of paper, with both Chinese and English on it. She is trying to fold it so I can't see what all is written on it.

She shows me the English line that asks why they can't sleep later?

Grace comes in to see what is going on and then starts trying to explain in Chinese to Annabel about sleeping late. I felt certain her question was more about going to bed early, rather than sleeping late. So we three get into a heated discussion, while I still have my seat.

She had a sheet again of questions that she had the music teacher translate into English for her. The big questions seem to be about sleeping, going to bed so early (9:30?), making her eat raw vegetables, and can she take a bath, rather than shower.

We start trying to work together on the explanations and I begin trying to act out most of this info! Instead I just wrote out the answers for the teacher to translate!

But that's not all!!!

We also had a form to complete for after school programs. On each day you were to select your top 3 things you would like to do.

I look at the lists and then try to decide how to explain the choices to her.

I'm glad we did not have a video camera as I tried to act out basketball, choir, dance, soccer, karate, and computer classes. I did my best and at least I had some idea what she would like to do. I think she will be pulled from these funny items to do tutoring instead.

This mornings CT scan, to me, shows a lot about her background.

I cannot imagine too many children who, with no native tongue explanation, understands to lay down still and not move while she slips through this machine.

But she held perfectly still. There was only a need to do it once.

She had told me, by acting out, that she was going to sleep in there.

i am ready to know the results!

After a snack and visit with Poppa who was doing his volunteer work, it was back to school.

We were fortunate to have a delicious meal of barbecue chicken provided by a church friend. That makes everything so easy!!!Afterward the only question was whether they could go roller skating. They are doing a lot pretty than I would on those!!

I wish that fact that tomorrow is Friday would help, but I have to work on Saturday.

I do marketing/education/outreach to older adults and have a tendency to come up with these ideas on new ways to handle the need for education, activities, and sociability. Back in the summer I came up with Grandparentpalooza, in conjunction with Grandparents' Day on Sunday. So we have a BIG EVENT planned and seems to get bigger every hour!! Our goal is to help older adults connect with services in the area to help them with their grandparenting and ways to maintain their health to be available for their grandchildren. So far we are expecting about 250. Originally wanted just 75 people to attend.

Grace has an appointment tomorrow to check her eyes after her surgery. I hope for her sake that she does not have to wear glasses again!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

CT Scan Thursday morning

Tomorrow morning we have an appointment for Annabel's CT scan to determine if there is additional damage to her ears from the long history of ear infections.

All prayers are appreciated.

When I got home from work, I found out that Annabel had cried at school and afterward at home.

In hopes of improving morale, we visited another Chinese buffet. Thank goodness I can find a few people who speak Chinese in the area!

I tried out my new Chinese phrases on the girls. Instead of improving communications, I just improved the comedy of the meal. They got so tickled at me trying to speak Chinese!

Afterward we took a walk with the girls on their skates and the dogs. I think they are sleeping really well tonight. Annabel took some bad tumbles, but never seems like it will keep her down.

Got one of those Chenglish words wrong and remembered another!

Nigh is not what they are saying, it is Aye - meaning me, my, or I, so Annabel told me Aye how tong pee pee, meaning my bottom hurts!

But the one used most often is
Kwi Kwi - hurry, hurry, only we usually have to say, kwi, kwi, kwi - hurry, hurry, hurry!
With only 3 there is always one slow one. We take turns it seems like.

Thankfully my friend Holly just sent some more phrases. I plan to shock them on my expertise in Chinese this afternoon. Going to write them on my shirt sleeve! Oh wait, wearing a sleeveless shirt. That won't work!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

What does Annabel think about ....?

This has to be the funniest question I get asked. It is difficult for people to realize there is very little communication going on between us. We have developed a very crude form of Chenglish, but it only helps in choosing noodles or rice, bath or shower, McDonalds or Kendugie Fried Chicken.

I had forgotten how it was when I first adopted Grace and all she could do was holler "Mom"!! There was nothing I could do but follow the voice and try to understand the question and provide an answer. Even "come here" doesn't seem to be understood. Oh wait, that is just a child, regardless of their primary language! And everything is an emergency.

This is my understanding of a few words we use often.
digga, digga - yea, I don't know. I get the impression it is like this or this, as a choice. Grace insists it is actually zegga.
Schwa - now I am not sure if this is water or something else, so I just throw it in every now and then.
LaShur - this is either an uncle, a mouse, or a teacher. Regardless of how I pronounce it, I get it wrong!!
Baa - short and sweet means NO.
YoYo - swimming, but also the name of her stuffed dog.
Wo, pronounced YO - the name of her stuffed cat.
If I can remember more, I will add them, but I get by pretty well with just digga or digga. Who really needs more than 2 choices?

As far as long conversations, I am still the very last person she wants to bond with or have some long conversation. But I seem to be less repulsive each day. I can only hope!

We are so thankful that Gustav spared so many from so much!

While in China, Annabel would jump up and down trying to get water out of her ears after swimming. I tried putting Swimmers Ear drops in one night and it was obviously so painful! Even the medical exam showed problems with her ears.

Today we finally got to see the otolaryngologist or maybe he was an otorhinolaryngologist, I forgot to check.

Bless this child's heart! She has a hole in both eardrums and some other complications that I can't remember right now. One hole is quite large. He feels she has had a history of ear infections that went untreated, probably most of her life.

The doctor and his assistant wanted me to ask her if she had ever had ear surgery.

Sure, no problem, digga or digga! I looked at them like you have got to be kidding. I think he was hoping that the scarring he saw in her ear was from surgery, but evidently just from non treatment and too many q tips!

Next step is a CT scan. I hope our friend Sarah can translate that! I don't think schwa covers that!!

From there will be a hearing test and plans for surgery. He is quite concerned about what he will find and if there is permanent hearing loss. That explains the loud voice!

I cannot imagine how much her life will improve with the ability to see and hear being restored. She continues just to stare at things. When the doctor's office kept wanting to know more about her history and if she was in pain and if she had ever been treated for ear problems, all I could do was explain that she had never complained about her lack of vision, yet is so glad to be able to see now. It was obvious that her vision was limited to nothing more than an arm's length away!

Yesterday the big question was if we would go skating again. They LOVED skating.

It is hard to turn down a request for something to play and have fun with outside. They both need it so much. Skates were not in my budget, but decided they were really needed.

The girls had a great time trying to move on their new skates. Annabel took a bad tumble and fell pretty hard.

Oh that reminds me of some more words I know.

Peepee - this word came up a lot in Target the other day, as in Momma, peepee, and pointing to her shorts. I'm trying to rush her to the bathroom surprised that she had an accident. Finally Grace explained that pee pee means your bottom. She had fallen at the skating rink and she was telling me her bottom hurt.

Which leads to the next two words -

how tong - which means, it hurts, as in pointing to your back and saying "how tong" and the answer is either yes or boo or is it bah?

Then you can also say how too, which is something stinks! or as in Momma, point to mouth, how too.

And the last one is nigh, which means me, so here is a sentence we would share, nigh peepee how tong.

Hey if you speak Chinese don't take offense. I try my best to find a way to communicate!

Next adventure is trying to find a new bike for Grace so Annabel can keep Grace's old one!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Another day of firsts!

It is late and somehow I want to watch to see when and where Gustav will hit. It seems like more than 3 years and 3 days since Katrina hit. So many came to Dallas, some permanently. Jana reached out to a family and took them under her wing, providing a place to live, food, clothes, etc. For this family, life continued even though their world turned upside down. Such wonderful people. You cannot imagine going through the changes that storm could bring to every single part of their lives.

One of the FCC families left for China yesterday. When you are making all your plans to bring home your new family member, you don't think about the "details". A detail that ended up being such a stress for us was the tight security at the airports. I wish I could force the "terrorists" who have caused such HUGE changes to realize the damage they have caused and change their hearts. Trying to explain terrorists to children is difficult!

But onto better things!

I had to leave church for a little while this morning so I didn't laugh out loud.

Mom came to church whether she felt like it or not.

She had all of both girls' attention! When I sat down they were on either side, with their arms around her shoulders. At one point, Annabel wrapped Mom up in her scarf/shawl she had brought, only she put it all around her neck, then wrapped her arms around her too. Mom turned to her and said, "I believe I'm a little hot." Annabel turned to me and said, " I believe I'm a little hot."

She looked so serious. I wonder what she thought she had said?? She was quoting Mom and knew it was important to share that "special" info!!

We had another wonderful meal provided by our great friends. They have made my life so much easier!

We met the FCC group for a skating party. We've been watching the DVDs we bought in China that are supposed to teach your child English. Yesterday had skating on it. So we talked about going skating. Only the picture was of ice skating!

Both girls were so excited!

Grace has learned quickly that Annabel is up for anything, or so it seems. Last time we had the skating party, Grace was not that interested. This time, both were ready and anxious. They met some new friends who helped learn to skate. Each fell enough that I think there will be plenty of bruises! But they got up each time and kept going, begging to stay just 10 more minutes!

On our way home, we stopped at Target to return the uniforms that did not fit. While there, Annabel had her first Slurpee! She mixed all the flavors and made some strange faces, but ended up thinking it was quite good. How do you explain a Slurpee? She kept asking if it was ice cream!

For dinner we went to another Chinese buffet. Children are half the price of adults. But with my girls, I am afraid they are losing money on that! They find so many things they LOVE on these buffets!!!

We came home two bags of clothes for Annabel. People have been so generous sharing their daughter's clothes that have been outgrown! This time even included shoes. When I was growing up I loved to get someone's hand me downs! Now as the mom, I really appreciate them!

There was no time to post last night. The only problem with going to IKEA is putting it together. I finally finished the majority about 1:00 a.m.! Now I just have to put them in the right room.

I love a holiday. When I worked for the state, we received about 15 holidays, including Lyndon Johnson's birthday! When I went to work for the hospital it was difficult to adjust to limited number of holidays, but it does make each one more precious! How do I explain Labor Day to Annabel???!!!