A post script from my education posting

I decided to make a visit to the school today to find out answers to some questions first hand and to set up appointments for further discussion.

The first teacher explained that Grace had not turned in her assignment so she got a 50. If she wanted to turn it in now, she would grade it but the highest score she could receive is a 50.

The teacher where the harassment took place yesterday tried to convince me that it was an innocent conversation and it was Annabel's fault for not understanding. HUH????? And that she just shuts down sometimes at school. He thinks it might be because she feels left out. (reminds me of a bad episode of My Name is Earl)

I tried to explain that sometimes misunderstandings do occur in our household with Annabel not completely understanding the conversation. BUT, as I explained to him, I take the time to ensure she does understand BEFORE it gets to the point of tears. Oh well, it was close to the end of the period and he did not have time.

Before I left I told Grace her teacher said she did not turn in her work. Now Grace really is too innocent to make up stories and told me she turned it in when there was a substitute. Sure enough, when she went to the class, she went through the teacher's folders and found her work in a folder of graded assignments, but hers still did not have a grade. Voila! Amazing, isn't it?

But that is not the end of my story about the school for today.

Tonight as the girls we getting ready for trick or treating, the phone rang and the machine picked up.

It was a taped message notifying me that DISD was concerned about their student, (insert name here) Annabel Locke, and her number of unexcused absences. She was in danger of truancy and a letter had been mailed.

At this point, I'm speechless.

I had called the DISD parent liaison this afternoon to hear an update from our conversation on Tuesday.

Why he was so surprised that I called. He had told the school they needed to call me. They hadn't?????

He would tell them again they need to call me.

Oh now I feel a lot better. You are going to go back to the source of the lack of communication and again tell them they need to communicate.

If I don't like this process, I can go to the school and request a form to complete requesting a level 1 process, which is to request a meeting with the principal.

CATCH 22!!

Education is key!

Tonight I have struggled with the best way to handle some problems that have come up for the girls at school. I've tried to focus on the adjustments of expanding our family and how Annabel is adjusting to having a forever family.

But tonight Grace gave me her mid six week report to sign.

I looked at the grades and I cannot believe it.

Grace has always made the A and B honor roll, A honor roll last year. She has worked hard to learn English, developed a voracious appetite for reading and learning, does her homework without fail. All of this with only 4 years of English. Maybe that sounds like a lot of time, but to truly comprehend English, the experts feel takes 7 years.

That's why a mid six week average of 78 in Language Arts is difficult to believe. She even received a 50 on one assignment.

When asked what was going on, tears were her only answer. But a classwork assignment that only received a 50 makes me wonder what is really going on. I can't decide if I am being realistic about my daughter's abilities. Maybe the first 4 years of school were all a fluke! Of course I don't believe that, but don't want to be one of those moms who think their child can do no wrong.

But then she also got 70's on two other in class assignments.

I asked to see this work.

I believe you can learn just as much from a bad grade as a good grade.

BUT you need to see what you did wrong so you can learn from it.

Grace insists that she has not received any of her assignments back, so how can she learn?

I feel that education is the key to your future. Obviously I think it is important or a I would have kept going back for so many degrees!! Plus we are headed to 6th grade next year. If we are looking at anything other than the feeder school, then good grades are required!

I know she can learn.

We were at piano today and the teacher was absolutely amazed at her ability. Grace had practiced songs that were not assigned and played them close to perfection. They were beautiful! The only places she had problems were on things she had not learned. When she started piano I joked with the teacher that I would not press her to practice as I was not expecting Van Cliburnesque ability!

Then matters about school just got worse!

Grace mentioned that Annabel cried at school today.

Every time I hear she cried breaks my heart.

I don't understand why I am not hearing about this until after the fact.

But the more questions I asked tonight and thanks to Lisa's input, I realized that Annabel is being bullied!

Kids in her class pester her about not speaking English, about her speaking Chinese.

It must have happened last week too and the teacher told the student to quit bullying Annabel!!

Today another one started on Annabel. She told me that she told him she did not understand what he was saying. You know, "No English!". But he would not stop until she started crying.

The teacher's response? "Did he make you cry?" to Annabel. That was it!! Nothing to the student who did it.

So what do I do? Pull them out and go further in debt for a private school? I can't quit work and home school. But my girls deserve a quality education in a safe environment.

Earlier in the year I had meetings with the teachers.

I have had a meeting with the principal.

Then this week when I went to pick them up for Annabel's post op appointment, the office didn't know where my daughters were! I was told I would need to go find them. The office did not know what class or room they were in. There seemed to be no way to communicate with the teachers in their rooms. I contacted the school district's parent liaison. Guess what I have heard back? NOTHING!!!

I forgot to mention Annabel's mid 6 week report.

She and Grace had the same grade in one class. Now one speaks English and the other Chinese!! How can they make the same grade?

Then Annabel got a 50 on an assignment on the candidates' views and vocabulary. Huh? Do you think Annabel even has a clue on our government?

She also got a 70 on the opinions of Obama/McCain on educ/healthcare/env.

Can you feel my frustration? What do I do?

Asker, a typical conversation

Grace: "Wan Yun, what are you doing?"

Annabel: "Asker"

Grace: "No, what are you doing?"

Annabel: "Asker!!"

Grace: "Mom, make her tell me what she is doing!!!"

Annabel: "ASKER!!!!!"

I think Annabel thinks we are pretty dumb sometimes when she is sure she has explained things to us.

It also explains why I am a little short on memory, have trouble making sense, etc!!

The beginning of this conversation happened in their bedroom.

I thought we were going to read, so I arrived with my book after everyone was ready for bed. Only Grace began working on a project for school. Annabel does not have a book in Chinese right now, so she got out some paper, a pen, and started drawing.

Grace was curious as to what Annabel was doing, but instead of asking her, she asked me.

So I told her, "Ask her."

So Grace said, "Wan Yun, what are you doing?"

Annabel answered what I had said, "Asker".

It took the third time for her to answer this way before I realized she wasn't just acting like a smarty, she THOUGHT she was answering appropriately. At least she had answered the same way I did.

So I explained that ASKER was actually ask her.

Adopting the older child

Some specialists relate the number of years a child is "institutionalized" to the number of years delay to expect for your child. Others compare each month after adoption to a level of development.

Somewhere in there might be an explanation for some of Annabel's behavior OR it could just be Annabel.

We were back at the doctor for the one week post op visit. Her ear is doing well. The doctor questioned if all adoptees transition so easily. He asked again how long she had been in the US. Today is actually our 3 month anniversary of the adoption! He is just overwhelmed with the amount of English she uses and how much it increases each time we see him.

I was interested in learning when we might see an improvement in her hearing and wondering out loud if she would talk as loud then. We won't know if it has improved her hearing for another 6-8 weeks. He commented that she might still talk loudly, that might just be her.

In some ways she makes me think of a toddler at this point. She is so eager to participate, to converse, with SO MANY questions about EVERYTHING! She has the energy and urgency of a toddler exploring the world for the first time. But she also has the spirit of a much older person, experienced in more than what an 11 year old should ever have experienced.

The doctor's office only has valet parking, so while we were waiting on the car was another quick reminder of how different life is now. Grace used to stand quietly beside me. Now she and Annabel are busy doing "rock, paper, scissors", dancing, singing, playing "it". Perfect! Now Grace gets to act like a kid too! This is how they spent the hour waiting on the doctor too!

Last night we took our bike ride. We didn't go far before Grace lagged behind. Annabel looked like she was a member of the Shriners. Her bike is pretty small and she loves to ride it with only one hand. She can't stand for Grace to fall too far behind, so she whips around and goes to check on her. She came back to let me know that -

(You just have to imagine parts of this)

"Mom, Grace bike", hand gesture of squeezing. I think, now what?

"Mom, you know!! Grace bike", hand gesture round, with hand gesture of squeezing. Hmmm.

"Grace's tires are low?"

"Yes, Mom!" Pretty much exasperated with me for being so slow to understand!

Riding on flat tires does explain why Grace was lagging behind!

Annabel insisted that she would walk Grace's bike back, I'm saying that Grace can ride my bike and I will walk Grace's home.

Annabel insists that she will help and Grace could not ride my bike, so Annabel grabs Grace's bike and starts running with it. We had trouble catching up riding the bikes! I told Grace that she was fortunate to have a sister to care so much to take care of her. We finally made it home but I think that Annabel was exhausted.

This afternoon I called because I am staying for Grief Support on Tuesday evenings. Annabel tells Mom she needs to speak to me.

So this is our conversation -

A: Mom, what you doing?
M: I'm at work.
A: Work? What work?

Trying to explain what I do is difficult.

M: I am doing homework. (the only explanation she accepts)
A: Mom, OllieNina, outside, but Nina no outside. Ollie outside, but Nina she stay (something unintelligible).
M: Ollie went outside but Nina wouldn't?
A: Mom, OllieNina, long, white, Nina no go outside. Nina inside long, white, eat.

OK, I have to admit I have NO IDEA where we are going with this conversation, but I start trying to guess.

M: By the table?
A: Yes, Mom.
M: Nina did something by the table?
A: YES, MOM!!!

Beginning to realize how stupid I am sounding because she knows what she is talking about, obviously I'm the one with the problem!!

By then I start trying to hang up because I am not sure what has happened and we don't seem to be going anywhere and I will be late for the support group.

But she continues trying to ask me something else.

When Ms. Wu called last week she invited us to Denton on a Friday evening for their Chinese church service. Since Annabel was not up to an hour long drive last week, I said we might go another time.

So then the conversation started about this:

A: Mom, Ms. Wu call you?
M: No, she has not called me.
A: Mom, we Ms. Wu Friday?
M: No, not this Friday.
A: Mom, Why???

Now this is the second time in my life I have tried to explain Halloween to someone who does not speak English. It is not a holiday that is easy to explain. How do you tell someone they must dress up in a costume and then go door to door asking for candy with a crazy chant of "Trick or Treat"? I'm not even sure if any of the translation programs will explain Halloween!

After many more tries we ended the conversation.

With Grace I had her dress up and we practiced ringing the doorbell and saying Trick or Treat. Maybe that would help out Annabel. I don't think the candy will be the motivation though as she is not sure she likes our candy. I know once it starts she will have a blast though.

This week the school is doing Red Ribbon Week about drugs. Monday they could wear slippers. I left that one alone.

Today they could take a stuffed animal. She didn't care why, just glad she had one to take (wishing the whole time that she had as many stuffed animals as Grace).

Tomorrow they can wear orange instead of their uniform. Lots of question of why with no explanation other than it's just something you can do this week!

On Friday they can dress up as either their favorite character from a book or a vocabulary word. Oh my!!!!

Out of order, but thought you would like to see Annabel after her surgery

I have to admit, it was very difficult not to laugh!

It's a whole new world!

Our lives have changed so much with the addition of Annabel and I wonder if she realizes the good impact she has had. It is difficult to tell her how life is so much better with her.

This morning is a great example.

It turned cold over night and the heat had not come on yet so you can imagine how toasty and warm it felt under the covers. Pre-Annabel, I would have stayed in bed until the last second and then Grace and I would run around like chickens with our heads cut off, pulling on clothes, grabbing something for breakfast on the way out, and starting our day in such a rush that it took an hour to calm down.

Grace and I had gotten into a rut and nothing seemed to budge us. Also since my sister passed away, I have been in such a deep funk that I just could not get up, much less motivated about anything.

But with Annabel it doesn't matter if I am in a funk or not, I have to get up. She HAS to have breakfast. I cannot imagine sending her off without something to eat and sometimes it is a struggle to find something she will eat. (Still lots of requests for the "Good Morning Soup"). Plus she does not want to be late, for anything, especially for school. It is a lot like living with Dad!!!

I had no energy left to post last night because we took a long bike ride and then took the dogs for a walk. I am determined to get into better shape.

Our refrigerator is stocked with fresh fruit, something I normally just let ruin. Today we scarf down 2 oranges at a time. I am so glad that Grace and I are changing our tastes and it is for the better. But we also are trying to impact Annabel. She likes very few vegetables, especially the RAW ones! She will pick out any and every sign of a tomato in anything she eats. She loves corn, but know she needs something "green and leafy"! Don't we all??

With each day bringing the anniversary of my sister's passing closer, the scarier it becomes. There were no warning signs and so I must work to become strong and healthy to meet the challenges of raising my daughters.

It's a wonderful life

After the many difficulties of this week, tonight felt like a scene from It's a Wonderful Life. Grace was practicing the piano, while Annabel and I cleaned up the kitchen. What bliss!

Anyone who has been reading knows it has been a difficult week with Annabel's surgery, no fence, and our first cold snap. But more than that at times our emotions have been as delicate as the surgery. But today it all came together and was as beautiful as the weather.

Annabel insisted on going back to school on Friday and I decided Grace was well enough too, but before their day could end I got a call from the school nurse that Annabel was complaining of pain. A friend had accidentally hit (?) her ear.

Today the first thing on our agenda was helping clean up a park. The girls picked up trash while I helped with the compost. I had to watch Annabel or she would get a huge shovel full of compost and try to load up the wheelbarrows. I felt sure that would come under strenuous exercise, which was prohibited.

We went on to Whole Foods to spend our coupon and get something to hopefully renew Grace's immune system. I am tired of spending all of my vacation for someone being sick and all our finances on doctor's visits.

While there we had an accident with a display of small tubes of a lot of homeopathic medicines that all fell and scattered across the floor. It was very embarrassing, but made it feel like my daughters were genetically mine!!!

We had lunch at a "real" Chinese restaurant or that's what it appeared to be. The women in the front were so kind and interested in our family but did not hover like others do. The food was really good and the girls loved their bean curd meal. We also had an interesting situation there when the girls stopped up the toilet and then proceeded to use the plunger to clear it out. The whole time I was waiting and not knowing what was going on. I knew something was up when they came out giggling. I'm so glad they have each other to rescue the other from these types of things.

Annabel tried to help me with my chopsticks but not before I spilled most of my noodles down my shirt!

We came home and I got a chance to try out a bike I am considering buying. It was so much fun to race down the hills, but really hard to get back up!

Marcie came over and helped us transform our pumpkins into jack-o-lanterns. They looked great tonight lit and glowing!

We ended the day with breakfast for dinner and being entertained by doing the dishes.

But the most important thing that has happened, after three months, Annabel has begun to allow me to kiss her goodnight. In fact, she grabbed me around the neck and hugged and kissed me back.

I never know what is going to happen next!

Much better

Annabel found me sleeping on the couch during the night and just insisted I come back to my 1/8 of the bed!!!

She woke up complaining of her ear hurting. I know it is bad whenever she even mentions it.

She is having so much trouble chewing things without it hurting that I fixed a can of chicken noodle soup for breakfast. Annabel liked it so well she wanted some more "good morning" soup for dinner.

After several attempts we finally got the bandage off, or I should say she got it off. When we tried it was much too painful.

The fence is up in the back yard, the weather warmed up, and everyone seems to feel better. Looks like it could be a great Friday! Oh and the girls are back in their own beds!!Woo! Hoo!

Annabelese

I've decided Annabel is writing a whole new language and she has Grace as her linguist expert.

Annabel has a big red bandage tied around her head and it has forced her hair to stick up, with white bandages sticking out, and her whole face swollen. Somehow the whole thing has distorted her speech even more.

This morning she wanted to know if the (indistinguishable word) has here yet. When I wasn't sure what she meant, she got frustrated and reminded me that she had done it for Grandmother/Grandfather. "Ours black, theirs green" and then a hand motion that was supposed to explain the rest. Between Grace and me we finally realized she meant the mail boxes. Last night when we got home there was a get well card for her and she was so excited, she wanted to see if she had any more!

The other day Grace was feeling sorry for herself (about walking the dogs) and Annabel gave her a good lashing about it. Here is basically what she told Grace:
Grace, you know Mom you made hot mukka (milk) chocolate. Grace, you buck buck. Grace, you know Grandmother/Grandfather house today six! More of this!!

Tonight as the two got into bed, she told Grace, you short, I long, getta bed. (This one confused me more because Grace actually has long arms and Annabel's are short) But Annabel was adamant with Grace that hers were short and she had long and to getta bed. I finally realized it was the length of their sleeves and getta bed was more like cover up.

Even with her whole head hurting so badly, she is watching out for Grace first. She is quite a kid!

The Princess and the Pea is now Princess and the Pea, two sick daughters, two stinky dogs, and 8 dolls and stuffed animals

When I was growing up Mom compared me to the Princess and the Pea because of how picky I was about my bed. I'm not sure when I got to be picky as I shared a bed with my older sister until I was 13, but maybe after that I actually got to have my bed the way I wanted, sheets smooth and tucked in, top sheet over the blankets, and just the right weight of all covers.

Tonight my bed has two daughters, both sick, one in pain, the other coughing and congested, an assortment of babies and stuffed animals, found a blue rubber glove from the hospital, special blankets for each, and an extra visit by each of the dogs. I planned to trick them and sleep at the foot of the bed, even though I am about 5 inches too long, but could sneak off to the couch when I needed. Annabel had other plans and insisted that I stay there with them all night.

I got up to answer the phone and the arrangements had already changed.

Annabel moved to the end and wanted me to have her place.

I got up to let the dogs out and then Grace needed to trade places to be closer to the fan since she is sweating and everyone else is cold.

So I am back on the couch wondering how long I get to stay before I am summoned back!

The morning after

Surgery and the hospital are not easy on anyone, but I am so overwhelmed with everyone's kind words, thoughts, and especially prayers, that I know it made the whole day easier on all of us.

I'm not sure I understand why bilingual only means Spanish, but in Texas it does. The hospital had a computer that could translate information but between Grace, pantomiming, and that Annabel is just quick to understand things, she seemed to have an understanding of what was going to happen. But even with all of that I know it was scary.

She explored the child life specialist entire box of medical supplies, trying out the blood pressure cuff, the syringes, tied a tourniquet for a blood sample onto her doll, and listened to everyone's heart beat.

When they gave her the goofy juice, which knocked Grace out at her surgery, had little effect. Our good friend Mary pointed out that Annabel was reluctant to give up control, which I think is exactly right.

My dad questioned what must be going through her mind, with everyone speaking English, poking, prodding, and then medicine meant to help her relax, the whole time not sure of what would happen if she fell asleep. While I think she understood that they were operating on her ear, I wonder if she thinks her ear was removed! I know in China she saw lots of children with a variety of disabilities and some of which are being born without ears. I think she will be anxious to have the bandages removed.

It was a very long day and when we finally got home at 9:00 everyone was hungry. The one thing that I had been warned about was nausea from eating too much and too much movement.

Grandmother knew just the thing to make and brought over chicken and rice soup. We put both girls in my bed, fed them some soup, Poppa picked up the prescription, and we called it a night. Grace is congested and coughing again and have started her on her meds.

My choice of places to sleep were with the dogs on the floor (yuck!), at the foot of the bed (where I stayed most of the night), and alternating between the couch and the chair. But this old body can stand it at least one night!

Today the girls woke up SO HUNGRY!!!! I was trying to do too many things at once and turned on the burner to heat up some milk. I just can't seem to remember which knob works which burner (or maybe there was some sleep deprivation) and I caught the carton of eggs on fire. We love a bit of excitement with our breakfast.

The hospital called to check in and then the doctor's office.

The nurses, as we were discharged, gave instructions contrary to the doctor's and I was anxious to know which to follow. The hospital's main concern was getting her level of pain down, which seems to be very high, but she absolutely will not complain. Only if I ask her will she tell me how she is feeling.

The doctor's nurse called in pills rather than a liquid pain reliever and said to let her do what she wanted, rather than me trying to force her to be still. He said she would wear out quickly and then take it easy. How smart he was. They tried playing Wii, but very quickly each needed down time and we have lots of channels with cartoons.

I need to be at work this afternoon and if I go am thankful that Mom and Dad live so close that they can take over.

Day 5 of no fence. The weather is supposed to turn yucky and I don't know what I will do with them if it does!

Thank goodness we are home!

The surgery took longer than I thought and recovery even longer, but we are home and the girls are asleep in my bed and I just wanted to send a quick update.

Thank you for all your prayers, love, and support. It made the day much easier. Annabel has been in a lot of pain and it was very difficult for her to give up to rest. I feel like I will be on patrol tonight, so more tomorrow.

surgery over

Just need Annabel to wake up so we can go hpme!

I wish she would sleep like this on saturdays!

Annabel's surgery is tomorrow

Annabel is not sure what Halloween is, but she is very excited about getting dressed up and getting candy.

Tomorrow is her surgery to repair her ear drum. A lot of people asked me what she thought about it. I was planning to wait until tonight to explain everything so there was no need for extra anxiety. But I should have learned by now that there is no such thing as a secret with Grace! She had already explained everything by the time I got home from work.

Thank goodness Mom and Dad are back. It was nice to have a home cooked meal that I did not prepare!

But we ate early and Annabel does not get to eat again until after the surgery! This for a child who wake up and her first words can be "I so HUNGRY!!" So after dinner they had their second meal! I hope the spicy noodles don't give them nightmares.

While they were eating we talked about Grace's two eye surgeries. Now you have to understand when we have these conversations there is a lot of acting out the story, some English, some Chinese, but rarely are they boring.

We went on to discussing Ollie's surgery! This one took more explanation, but only because Annabel is never satisfied with the short version of a story, she has lots of whys? So I am trying to explain a bladder stone being removed from a dog!

The surgery isn't until 1:00 pm and I will not know if she has to spend the night until much later. One mother who has gone through it twice with her daughter urged me to request she spend the night. Evidently the close proximity to your middle ear causing extreme nausea and the inability to keep any food down.

Because I like to keep things complicated, I guess, we are also on our 3rd day of no fence. So I now I have the mop and bucket on permanent standby. These dogs need a better trainer than I am!

Quite a few really nice things are going on also.

We took a long walk Saturday and came across a bunch of woolly worms walking up the street. These freaked Annabel out. She grabbed my hand and held it through the rest of the walk. We went back to the same street tonight and again she automatically took my hand. This is HUGE! The first time that she has come that close and allowed physical contact!

This evening we got a call from Ms. Wu, the music teacher, who has been such a fantastic help with translation for Annabel. She had seen her reading her Chinese Bible and invited her to church. She called tonight to see if we would be interested. Annabel is so excited that I said yes and we just need to wait to see how she feels after surgery before making more plans.

Ms. Wu told her she would pray for her about her surgery. I told her that Grandmother, Grandfather, Grace, Martha, Mark, Marcie, Lisa, Emily, Holly, Wes, Alma Faye, and everybody, everybody that knew and loved her would also pray.

I am anxious to write tomorrow that things are fine!

Annabel's surgery

Annabel's ear surgery

Annabel's surgery has been moved up to October 21, this Tuesday. I haven't discussed it with her yet as I think it will just build anxiety. I feel anxious enough for both of us!

The doctor's schedule changed and they called to postpone the surgery. I begged to have it done earlier rather than later. After the ear infection last week, I know it has to be done quickly.

The purpose of the surgery is to rebuild her eardrum. It appears that she has had chronic ear infections that have gone without treatment. This has led to a perforation in her eardrum, also leading to hearing loss.

I am excited about the possible improvements for her!

Best laid plans

Within the last 24 hours I have mentally written some very profound things. Time and energy failed me.

Tonight as I was getting these ideas together I got so sidetracked and decided this was more interesting!

My next door neighbor has told me for several weeks that he planned to tear down his old fence in order to build a bigger, better one. I was glad to hear it since I did not have the cash to build a new one and his was falling onto our garage.

Today happened to be the day. By now I had forgotten of course.

After taking the dogs on a long walk we decided to do our Wii Fit. My turn was last. The dogs took a lot of interest in me trying to exercise. I also had one daughter pull up a chair beside me and the other on the foot stool. You are supposed to have plenty of room, but I was managing.

Finally we realized that the dogs were also trying to tell us something.

Our dogs are not the brightest so their insistence can mean:

a. A squirrel needs to be chased.
b. I believe I heard us being attacked by cats.
c. I need to go outside as I am about to pop!

This time it was "c" so the girls put the leashes on the dogs and escorted them outside.

They were so proud that the dogs would come back to the house without being dragged.

Knowing our usual schedule and that a late night pitstop is always needed, I decided to see if I was fortunate out the back.

Now I must say I have several degrees and really should be smarter than I appear!

When you tear down a fence, you remove all the sides AND the back.

Thankfully Annabel went out with me and while I hung some clothes on the line, she bobbed along. I mentioned we better watch for Ollie and Nina that they did not use the next door neighbor's yard. We went behind the garage and saw their tails running down the alley toward a very busy street.

I drop my laundry and gingerly crossed the junk that stays behind everyone's garage and start running down the alley too. Like I said thankfully Annabel was with me and she can run pretty fast, but it took her a while to react and I could not risk her running out into the street in front of me.

These crazy dogs acted like they knew where they were going, which was the opposite way from home. I did not know I could run that fast. Thankfully Nina came running back and as Ollie turned the next corner I was still in hot pursuit, but wondering if I was going to need to call 911 too. Breathlessly I ordered Annabel to pursue Ollie who only came back because a bigger dog tried to attack him.

So I am carrying both dogs back home, neither are thrilled with the arrangement and Annabel is telling back to me what we just did in her best Chenglish!

By this time Grace is coming the opposite way and I am yelling to go back to get the leashes.

We finally made it home.

I hope that fence is back up soon!!!!

Tigger and Pooh

Tonight emphasized the distinct personalities of my two girls. They are the yin and yang of the universe or in more practical terms, Tigger and Pooh.

When we got home the girls decided to take the dogs for a walk.

Grace takes Ollie and begins walking up and down the sidewalk.

Annabel takes Nina and they begin to race up and down the sidewalk. When Annabel rounded the corner and up the walk to the house, it looked like she had a dust mop on a string, only it was Nina going so fast that you couldn't see her legs. They would both crash for a few minutes and run off again.

Then from the opposite direction would come Grace and Ollie, as if on their Sunday stroll.

I suggested they might want to switch dogs so Nina could have a break and Ollie could burn off some energy.

I think if Annabel thought of it and if Nina could jump they would definitely look like Tigger.

Then come Grace and Ollie at such a steady pace, you know that Winnie the Pooh would be done proud!

Yesterday we all got flu shots.

I didn't dare tell them that I got so anxious facing the same shot that the nurse thought I was going to pass out. I am such a sissy. I'm glad my girls bravely jumped up there and held still.

We all woke up with sore arms today, but Tigger had to get to school. Pooh and I would have easily stayed in bed under the guise of a reaction to the shot!

I hope we can avoid some of the bugs we got last year. If you are reading this and have not gotten your flu shot, please make plans to get yours.

Grace's newest favorite admirer

Grace was practicing the piano while Annabel was outside. I was cleaning up the kitchen and realized that Ollie was missing. Here is where I found him.

How the book club made me look deeper

One of our more recent additions to the line up of programs we offer to the aging community is a book club. This month's book is the autobiography of Richard Wright, Black Boy.

Reading this book, set in 1908, primarily in the south, documents the story of a headstrong, hungry African American boy trying to sate his hunger, not just for food, but also for knowledge, experience, life!

Home was transient, food was scarce, punishment was severe, and security was unknown.

How this has made me wonder and question the history of my daughters. There is very little day to day history of my daughter's lives before I adopted them. There is a hint of the same type of early life that Richard Wright experienced 100 years ago. While heart breaking to read, it is even more heartbreaking to realize that your children's early lives were probably very similar.

One thing that really stuck out was the anxiety that he felt very early, to the point of being unable to respond to questions, actions, or even eat at times. This anxiety feels familiar to the reactions (or lack) to questions or situations that I thought were easy. Grace and Annabel at times just freeze, no response, acknowledgment of the question and now I wonder if they just could not respond.

While I can't "fix" the past, I can try to secure the future, continually reminding them that food will be served, that love and warmth are not conditional upon behavior, and that I will protect and be there to provide for them.

So here are my girls at Annabel's doctor's appointment last week. Grace decided she must surely feel as badly as Annabel and Annabel proceeded to give her a thorough examination, which of course included checking her hair!!

Mitt or Matt, here for 2 months and still not fluent???

First stop tomorrow to buy a rice cooker!

We were trying to find copies of the books I needed for work tomorrow and ended up too far from home for dinner. An attempt to settle the restaurant with Rock, Paper, Scissors, did not bring a decision that could satisfy everyone.

I think the main problem for all was withdrawal from Grandmother, Grandfather!

Part of our search at the book store was for more books in Chinese. Annabel gets so frustrated. English is so difficult to learn and Chinese still provides a way to learn, if only more things were written in Chinese!

Annabel's homework was to read a new "book" to me.

The words "the, and, is, a" are some of the most difficult for her. She continues to completely miss them in reading. But she wants her reading to be PERFECT!!

I had bought her a set of books called Bob's Books. http://www.bobbooks.com/ are a great resource for learning and are really cute too.

The only trouble is that the book tonight had Matt using a mitt. Somehow the a and the i must have sounded too much alike. She would not give up until she had it perfect. She finally got so frustrated I knew tears were imminent and announced the last few pages were PERFECT!

Annabel has done so well with adding English conversationally, but reading and comprehending are so difficult. I remember when I adopted Grace that I was told it would take a minimum of two years for her to develop a proficiency of English. After 6 months, she was doing so well, I could not imagine. I was sure I had a potential Rhodes scholar on my hands.

Now I know and recognize that 2 years is probably right.

The girls also got their report cards today.

This first 6 weeks were hard.

Grace never gets below a 90 and had 2 this time. But she also has never been in 5th grade and been responsible for adjusting to a new sister and being her translator.

Annabel's grades were quite a mystery.

I didn't expect her to get grades as she is listed as ESL, but there they were. Social Studies? Science? Reading? Language Arts?

I also found out that there is no mention on her records that English is not her primary language. Unless she spoke Spanish, no accommodations are made.

Matt and mitt sound difficult at this point. I don't know how she can understand the US politics when I don't! Geography and science? Wow! I would have shed tears too.

One last funny for the weekend!

I was standing at the sink washing my hands and Annabel saw that my nose was beginning to run.

She ran, hollering at me, "wait! wait!" and came back with some Kleenexes, put them to my nose and then hollered, "blew! blew!". It is really difficult to multi-task, washing your hands, control your laughter, and blew your nose. I didn't correct her that it was blow I was so surprised by the whole thing I just had to laugh!!!

And when I say she hollers, I mean it. I will be so glad for the surgery on her ear and hope it will help.

Food not for thought

Holly wants me to fire up the rice cooker and slow pot cooker this week while Mom and Dad are gone! I wanted a good excuse to eat out every meal! Besides, I think I am the only mother of Chinese daughters who does not have a rice cooker, so I guess I can't!

Update from Mom and Dad

I realize that some of you who read our blog would want updates from Mom and Dad and their big excursion.

I'm sure they made it to the airport in plenty of time since they left before 5:00a.m. for a 7:30a.m. flight. Dad as usual was pulled aside and almost stripped searched. They have to be sure the artificial knee isn't a terrorist device I guess.

A member of the mafia met them at the airport in a huge car. Now it wasn't really, but Dad felt like he could be, talking ninety to nothing the whole way from LaGuardia to the Brooklyn port.

We called as we left Chinese school, about 2:30, which would make it 3:30. They were already in their room and having their first nap! That's the life! I said they had covered a lot of new things in a very short amount of time. The room, though small, gave them a view of the bridge, Statue of Liberty and Ground Zero. They had asked to be moved to a different room because they were so far from everything and Mom still has considerable trouble walking.

They were to embark, sail away, I don't know the correct term here, at 5:00. Hope to hear more from them later, especially if they got to change their room.

Aren't cell phones incredible? Calling from far North Dallas to a boat docked in Brooklyn harbor - Amazing!

Where you boy, Marcie?

I love Saturdays that are not cluttered with required appointments. After our week started with unexpected doctor's appointments and ended with huge unexpected bills, it was so nice to take it slower on Saturday.

We went to the Urban Street Bazaar, with our actual destination being the Green Pet Store. I had received an email they were planning a big sale and can't risk getting the dogs something cheaper.

Very artistic individuals had their crafts for sell, each one more unique than the next.

But we were on a mission for cheap dog items!

Instead of things for the dogs, I started my Christmas shopping for the girls. They had cute nightshirts with dogs, stuffed dogs, anything with dogs are the girls favorites right now.

We ran into my niece Marcie and her husband Drew.

Somehow Annabel did not recognize Drew as being Marcie's husband and kept asking, "What you boy, Marcie?" . Then when he disappeared for a minute (hiding my purchases) she asked, "Where you boy, Marcie?". I couldn't help but laugh.

Later we went to the downtown library where they actually have Chinese books for children.

While checking out, the librarian told Annabel that the email address on her account was wrong. Did she want to change it?

She kept saying, "I no English". But he didn't understand and/or couldn't hear her.

I stepped in and explained that she did not understand English, but her sister did. (I was still trying to get my books checked out.)

Grace steps up and the man says, "Do you know your email address?"

Blink. Blink.

"Can you tell me if this is the correct email address?"

Blink. Blink.

I'm not sure why Grace loses all her English sometimes, but she did not seem to understand him.

I finally got my books checked out and asked him again what they had as the email address. He read it off and I did the old "blink. blink."

Grace finally stepped in and told him they had too many numbers.

It took all three of us to get that email address right! Too bad none of us spoke English yesterday!

My parents left for a week long cruise to New England and Canada this morning. I am so glad they decided to go. Well deserved time off and beautiful scenery. For those who see the seasons change, they don't know that in Texas it usually happens over night. One good cold snap changes the leaves and then a storm blows them off!

Only now I am left with being responsible for all the meals this week!!! Oops!!

After a day of downturns, a scene that could warm anyone's heart

Today I got a phone call from a credit card company wanting to know when I was planning to pay. I was sure someone had stolen my credit, but no, the charges for our airline tickets had gotten lost in the mail. Our trip to China is still unpaid. How did that slip my mind? I haven't had much going on lately :)>

In the mail today, there was a package for Annabel.

I handed it to her and she immediately shouted "Woo! Hoo!"

She had no clue what it was or what it meant, just glad something came with her name on it.

Inside was a Bible in Chinese.

She absolutely loves it! She began immediately reading it. I thought of the Ethiopian in the Bible who did not understand what he was reading. The discussion between she and Grace was amazing, mostly in Chinese. Grace was trying to explain what she had read. Grace continually spread her arms and said, "all of it", I believe in an effort to explain that God was Father of all.

Annabel ended up hugging the Bible to her chest and sent me back to get it to put by her bed to go to sleep.

Thanks Ann! Mom told me you had ordered it.

I guess instead of wasting time worrying over the unpaid airline tickets, I need to remember to consider the lillies of the field, they neither toil or spin.

Ollie is so upset tonight! And Nurse Momma!

Ollie cannot find his special toy tonight. I have looked everywhere for his red kong toy so we could play catch, but I cannot imagine where it is hidden this time. And so he has just moped all evening. Nothing else is nearly as good!

Each morning and evening we are going through all our medications for the girls. I know they are ready to feel better quickly. Each has their medicine and then drops in Annabel's ears. She pulls away and so afraid of potential pain each time. I do hope it improves in a hurry.

Annabel came home with a note again from Ms.Wu.

Today she wanted to know if we could make 2 sets of pictures of her. She explained to me that she wanted to send one set to her Bobba and the other for herself! I thought she wanted to send it to the Social Welfare Institute.

She also wanted to send 2 small cars to her "brother" in China, his foster sister's son, I think.

One last thing, she wanted to know if we could buy the DVD of the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. I tracked down a link someone else had sent and found it was $30. I wasn't clear though if it was for us or her teacher Ms. Wu. The story started off with some big thing, which I think is the TV in Ms. Wu's room not working? DVD not working? DVD missing? Remote control not working? Grace didn't seem to know what she was talking about. All of the above choices were acted out but still wasn't sure which it was.

I got a call yesterday afternoon from the assistant principal. He was planning to call the multi-lingual department for some help for Annabel. Woo! Hoo! Conversationally she is doing great! But as he pointed out, for reading comprehension and writing, that understanding is very far behind. I told him about the teacher making the comment about her not caring if you could speak English or not, you had to do what she said. He was very compassionate and I greatly appreciated the call.

Thanks to all of you who read our blog. I am so surprised that anyone is still following our journey. I am especially surprised to see how far reaching our blog is. I never thought I could connect with people so far away about such an important topic.

Momma, ear hao tong!

Just when you think you have a good routine going, the morning does not start the way you planned.

Annabel wanted to tell me privately, in the bathroom, that her ear, "hao tong". I knew this wasn't going to be good because she never complains about pain and for some reason wanted it told in private. I could tell by looking at her eyes that she did not feel well.

Someone else commented about the high tolerance of pain these children have. I know that is true. The idea that she is telling me her ear hurts in private and knowing that I probably would have been incapacitated with her level of pain, makes me wonder how these situations were handled in China. Maybe they were told not to complain. Maybe it did not help any to complain, so why say anything. I am not sure if I will ever know.

The doctor confirmed an ear infection and prescribed antibiotics and ear drops.

I wanted to beg him to just give me a huge shot so I did not have to give her the medicine! I immediately had horrible flashbacks of the one time I put drops in her ears in China and the immediate intense pain she experienced. Hao Tong!! I had already tried to get her to take a tylenol or advil for the pain. She refused, so I had sent her to school with cotton in her ear. When the doctor saw the cotton he looked confused. I shrugged my shoulders and told him I didn't know what else to do to help with the pain. It had seemed to comfort her.

While getting the prescriptions filled, she and Grace checked out all the hair doo dads by the pharmacy. With her hair growing out, and seeing all that Grace has, she was really wishing for some new things for her hair. So far she only had the set that Mom and Dad got her for her "birthday party".

She had no idea, but I would have been willing to buy anything recognizing her pain level, knowing she was facing stinky medicine, AND ear drops.

Her bottle of antibiotics is at least twice as large as Grace's. Grace's is strawberry flavored. Hers is just bad flavored. It was supposed to be banana, but smells more like baby aspirin. To add a flavor meant waiting on the doctor to approve. Instead we opted for gum and skittles to take the taste out of her mouth. I don't do a good job of pretending like it doesn't stink.

Later we walked up to the dollar store for more hair doo dads and a small water bottle to have with her lunch. She is so aware of costs, that she only chose some that cost $1 and then insisted that I have one of the headbands. My hair is so short there isn't enough to use anything else.

It was also National Night Out and there was a big celebration at the hospital. She knows I work at the hospital, but not sure what I do, but that's ok. I was never sure what my dad did either.

The term National Night Out was useless to try to translate, so we just called it a party.

The girls had so much fun. I was concerned that noise level would hurt her ears, but she was intent on getting one of every little goodie the vendors had, each being more "special" than the last. She now has a bag full of stickers, pencils, flashlights, and rulers that is probably under her pillow.

I don't think I have mentioned her pillow and bed in a while.

Training for adoption, especially a child from an orphanage, you are warned about the child hoarding food. Usually you will find stashes of it in their bedrooms, because they have experienced such deep levels of hunger. Grace has never hoarded food. Hers has always been pencils and book marks. She has a box that is about 12 x 18 that is at least 2" deep in pencils. The bookmarks are not as easy to contain. The best part? She never has a pencil. The pencils in the box are sacred and not to be used!

Annabel keeps everything anyone gives her. But she keeps it all under her pillow! I had them take off their sheets last week to be washed. Underneath Annabel's pillow were a school uniform, pair of pajamas, a pencil, a bookmark, a card, and a whole stash of odds and ends. She rarely lets me glimpse into this very personal stash.

Her surgery is scheduled for October 30. I hope the ear will heal enough to have the surgery. More later on this.

How much fun is this??!!!

My longtime friend Denise was in town for a conference. She met us for lunch and definitely knows what girls like. She brought the girls lip glosses, toiletries, and a gift card to Build a Bear workshop.

That gift card was burning a hole in Grace's pocket. Annabel wasn't sure what it meant. She understood that it was something like money though.

We walked into Build a Bear and I said out loud, I wonder how I can explain this to someone who speaks Chinese. They actually had the explanation written in Chinese! Annabel read it and then shouted "Woo! Hoo!"

Grace knew the drill and immediately began to agonize over what animal she should pick. I think she worries about all the ones that get left behind.

Annabel wanted the largest dog, but Grace explained she would not have money for clothes, so she immediately went for the cheapest!

They both had such a great time. Annabel decided the best accessory for her dog was a carrier that would allow her to have her dog, like a baby, facing her. She treated it like a real baby.

Here at the dog wash!

The plan was to take the dogs to the groomer. Annabel decided we should wash the dogs instead. Here is Annabel with "her" dog, Nina.

I'm not sure if Nina enjoyed it as much as Annabel! Next it was Ollie's turn, who right now is Grace's dog.

He tried to hide, but it didn't work! He looks rather possessed!
Nina and Annabel bonding!
Ollie takes longer and gets distracted often during the bath!
Ollie, not sure if the bath was worth the effort on his part!

Catching up on some details

Annabel has decided she wants to take her lunch.

She told me that when she buys her lunch, she is SO HUNGRY! (Someone asked me if she really says all of that. In a way, yes. Between English and acting out, I know what she means. Besides, hungry is a recurrent theme.)

Her peng (pon yo), friend, takes hers so Annabel wanted to as well.

The first couple of days we had leftover chicken, which was just what she wanted.

I thought she would get tired of it so did not plan anything the third day.

But she was insistent on taking her lunch.

Since we had no chicken, she toasted a piece of bread, put it in a baggie, put some fruit in and seemed dismayed at the small meal she had. I showed her how to roll up some ham and have without the bread. That was all the encouragement she needed.

Now every morning she toasts a couple of pieces of bread (no butter), puts them in a baggie while they are warm (which I am going to guess makes them sweat), puts ham in a separate baggie, adds fruit, and chips or crackers. It is the strangest meal, but seems to do the trick.

Mom made goulash tonight, which is basically noodles, ground beef, and tomatoes. Annabel LOVES this meal so much, she is taking the leftovers to school. No, there is no microwave! Yuck!

Chinese school is going very well. Her teacher always takes the time to tell me how smart she is. Grace's class is below her level and they are working on numbers and colors. At least she is still attending!

We still do not have an appointment for the ear surgery. I tried calling once, but they said I needed to give the process more time as far as insurance, etc.

Annabel has learned so much English so quickly, she amazed me this morning with mostly English. Right before we left for China, I bought a table to have in the kitchen. The three of us have so many great times sitting around this table, talking, eating, learning. I am so glad for these interactions. They are priceless.

Grace and Annabel get along so well. The similarity in their backgrounds seems to be an important part in their relationship. They both have their Jiangxi Mommas and Bobbas that they miss, along with friends and others they have left behind.

Here at the dog wash!

Annabel decided the dogs needed a bath. I planned to take them to the groomer, but thought this might be more fun. This is Annabel with "her" dog, Nina. Can't you see how much Nina is LOVING the attention?

Now it was Ollie's turn. I don't know how to edit this so he doesn't look possessed! Nothing but joy on this dog's face!

Close up of the love on Nina's face! Actually you can see the joy on Annabel's and that is what matters. The dogs suffered through pretty well. Afterward they had plenty of time to roll around in the back yard!

Ollie still looks possessed!

Catching up with accompaniment

Rarely do I have time to read the newspaper or watch the news, so I get most of my news from the Internet. Not some crazy site, just off of Dallas News or Yahoo.

Tonight I glanced at the headline of how Lehman Brothers' execs had ensured their top brass would have millions as they came to the government with their hand out.

These stories have frustrated me so much recently, as I fret and worry about the future, making decisions about whether we can eat out, paying off the last of Grace's eye surgery, facing new bills for Annabel, while others are taking advantage of those of us who work.

But and this is a giant BUT, I doubt they can feel the sense of joy and contentment I can feel sitting here typing away while accompanied by Grace practicing the piano, Annabel with her chair pulled as close as she can to Grace, and Annabel wanting me to label each piece that Grace plays as PERFECT!! And demanding to know when I label a piece as good or very good, but not perfect.

While the story of the milk in China might have had very little coverage here, it has made a deep impact in our household. While in China, Grace found her ABSOLUTELY FAVORITE Chinese milk. Don't ask me what it is as the label is all in Chinese. I guess it is a yogurty/milk thing.

In one suitcase, which I bought there, I packed the entire thing with food I knew we could not find here, this milk (that requires no refrigeration), assorted candies, anything we could find to help Annabel's first few days not be so traumatic. I shudder to think about how Grace felt those first weeks home.

Since we have been home, we have searched EVERY Asian market for some of these items as we ran out. Our area of Dallas has NO Asian markets. The Chinese restaurants are not even owned by anyone close to Asian descent.

With the gas, time, and money invested, we had a good supply of these favorites.

Now I am learning more and more about the Chinese milk "scandal" and realize that ALL that we have on hand is suspect. The products contain melamine. They cause huge kidney stones. They have killed an undetermined number of children in China. How can someone be so greedy to hurt children?

OK, enough musings. The next post or previous, depending on how they show up, will be back to my girls!

My Jiangxi mother

Annabel has reached a place that I remember Grace went through too.

We have been home less than 2 months, but there are so many new memories crowding in and new people and experiences, that the life in Jiangxi is harder to keep on top.

Today we were discussing how some older people begin to shake. She told me her Jiangxi mother was 90 and Jiangxi father was 102 and neither shook! I met these people and neither were anywhere near that age. But she needed them to be able to overcome some of the issues from living in America.

Later we went to a garage sale and she chose a basketball. It cost $5.

She told us that her Jiangxi mother had bought her one that cost $8.

I told her that her grandfather could help her learn to play basketball.

I can't even remember how we began to talk about people's strength, but she knew her Jiangxi father was strong, stronger than Poppa. Grace argued with her that Poppa was stronger. She was very disappointed in that. I told her she was strong.

No, she did not want to be strong if her Jiangxi father was not strong. I told her she and her Jiangxi father were strong. That seemed to help.

Grace and I will talk about this more to help her understand the importance of preserving these memories in Annabel's heart and mind. These "parents" need to kept in a special place in her memory.

Mom - my (insert spiral motion here) hao tong!

Our days are filled with Annabel incorporating more and more English into our conversations. I don't think she has realized the level of understanding she has achieved and at times reverts to "I NO ENGLISH!!!!!"

While she has achieved a LOT, a conversation to discuss vital details is still not there.

In between piano, the vet, and hair appointment, we ate dinner.

****WARNING***** This story is a little gross!

I'm trying to get the girls to finish eating to make it to the vet before they close at 6:00.

Annabel shows me this mouthful of food. I try ignoring it.

She starts trying to talk to me while showing me this mouthful of food.

I finally tell her that you don't show people what is in your mouth!

BU Wan Yun, resorting to my Chenglish, calling her by her Chinese name and adding no. (For those who know Chinese, I apologize for not knowing how to include accent marks)

Bu, no, Annabel, chew up your food so we can leave.

I am still trying to ignore the bad behavior and motion that she can take her plate with her if she wants, after all this is her 3rd helping of stew and rice, but she seems intent on eating all of it.

When I finish locking the door, I turn around to see her starting to cry. She just doesn't cry. I think I have hurt her feelings about the open mouth and food behavior. We get in the car and she is still trying to talk to me with that really nasty looking mouthful of food. By now it is dog food looking. Tears are beginning to roll down her cheeks.

OK, I am slow sometimes.

I finally realize that she cannot swallow this huge bite of food and she doesn't know what to do with it.

I open the car door and act out spitting out the food.

She immediately leans over and spits it out. Tears stop. "Thank you Mom!"

I feel terrible that I didn't understand what she was needing, but even worse to think that there had not been a "mother" there when she first began to eat and needed to spit something out. I think it is a universal job requirement for mothers of toddlers to have hands ready to accept whatever gets spit out.

Back to the title.

We were driving in bumper to bumper traffic, racing to get to the vet before they close to get Nina's medicine and Nina REALLY needs her meds.

When Annabel says "Mom", it generally requires me to face her so she can try to explain something with gestures, facial expressions, and whatever props she can find.

This time she sounded in distress, so in between speeding up and slamming on the brakes, I glanced back and she says, "Mom", my and makes a downward spiral with her hand, points to her throat and says "Hao Tong", it hurts. I really do not know where that body part is that is a downward spiral motion that originated above her head. I thought she had a sore throat and if I ask too many times for further descriptions, she gets a little frustrated.

"Does your throat hurt?"

"My... spiral motion again... hao tong"

Speed to catch back up with traffic, slam on brakes, when we all stop suddenly.

"Your stomach?"

"No, Mom, my... spiral motion again."

Still do not have a clue, so "OK, I'm sorry (your downward spiral motion) hurts. Maybe you need to use the bathroom."

All of that was in English so she really didn't understand, but she agreed and closed her eyes and took a quick nap till we got to the vet.

I knew she was ok because when ice cream was offered, even though her downward spiral motion might still be hurting, she was up for ice cream.

B as in boy or as in didi?

Grace decided to teach Annabelly how to play the piano tonight.

I'm not sure if it is going to work though.

For the "D" key, she explained DiDi, you know like boy, or little brother.

So she is teaching a child who is learning English the name of the key with a Chinese word that translates into a word that starts with the name of another key.

Earlier on our way to McDonalds, Annabel said, "Mom, curl, black, (pounded window), and then showed me her hand.


OK, now what? about curl, black, window, and her hand.

I finally understood that girl, maybe with black curls was outside waving to Annable.

We continue to learn!