Mom, you happy?

For those who have adopted from China, most have discovered all the yahoo groups of people who have also adopted. These range from the orphanage your child is from, the city you live in, various groups for different ages, and many I probably don't know about.

On these you can discuss your fears, concerns, good news, joys to an audience that can empathize with you because they have BTDT (been there, done that). But sometimes they also can paint a bleak picture.

When I worked on my masters in rehab counseling, I had to take a class on the physical aspects of disabilities. We learned about so many disabling diseases, conditions, injuries. I was sure I had every one of them, unless it mentioned unexplained weight loss! I knew I didn't have that one.

All of these yahoo groups make me feel the same way, I am sure I will have the problems (yes, focus only on the negatives) that others have had.

We are almost at the 2 month mark and things have calmed down so much it feels hard to believe. I think I keep feeling like we are only in our "honeymoon" phase and it won't last.

But today was a great example of our new life as a family.

Thursday started with an early meeting for me, so the girls went next door and Grandmother fixed (for those in other states, cooked) breakfast and got them to school. I'm not sure that Annabel understood and know she has no clue what I do or where I go while they are at school.

After school was piano for Grace. When I called and told them to get ready, Annabel decided she would stay with Grandmother/Grandmother. (Somehow she has begun calling mom and dad the same name.)

By the time I got home, she decided she would go too.

She took her Nintendo (which I still need to send thank you cards to the wonderful friends who took care of buying it) and has one game, Dogs. On this game you give your dog commands. She named her dog "YoYo", which is Chinese for swim and the name of her stuffed dog too. She yells at that Nintendo to sit, roll over, with such a strong accent, I wonder if it can recognize what she is saying.

So while Grace played Mozart (which sounded a lot like Yankee Doodle), Annabel played Nintendo, and I answered emails.

Afterward we stopped at the library looking for "Year of the Rat" by Grace Lin for Grace. Annabel was so disappointed to learn they did not have Chinese books. They have some at the downtown branch and promised we would go soon.

A Chinese buffet was planned for dinner. It is very entertaining to go where the waitstaff all speak Chinese. They are so amazed at this tiny child who speaks in such a strong voice their native language. They are fascinated by her. I know they are trying to figure out this family where there are 2 Chinese daughters, one speaking Chinese, the other not, and a mother who seems to understand both!

Homework went until it was dark, but I am determined to get all of us out, including the dogs, at least once a day. So we took a quick run to the school and ran around the playground for a while.

There was still time to do our reading for the night.

Annabel again mentioned no Chinese books. I showed her all her Chinese books and like all 11 year olds had forgotten about them!

I laid on Grace's bed and Annabel actually patted hers and said, "Mom, my bed?"

I don't know if the concept of tomorrow works, but I promised her bed tomorrow, the whole time thrilled I was even asked.

Then she looked up and said, "Mom, you happy?".

Yes, I am very happy.

Are you?

Mmmmm, yeah.

A little or a lot.

Mmmmm, a lot.

Woo! Hoo!

She has no idea how big an impact what a small conversation makes!

When something goes wrong, milk spilled, food she doesn't like, any number of other things, she says, "Mom?" and puts her hands on her hips.

No, I'm not hands on hips (mad).

Oh, ok, Thanks Mom!

I think she is surprised that I understand that she is a child and even grown ups make mistakes, but no reason to be hands on hips (mad). No face slapping, no punishments, no spanking here, just an attempt to understand, show love, and allow a child to grow.