I mamam

Some days seem to be more full than others. Or at least in 24 hours, a lot can happen.

Last night on our way home from piano, I asked for the third time if anyone had homework.

A very quiet voice from the back answered, but I could not hear what Grace said.

Finally Annabel just blurts out that their math project is due tomorrow. This would be the math project that had been assigned 4 weeks before, I'm guessing. LOTS of days had passed with NO homework and lots of free time.

This assignment had them watching five 30 minute TV shows and recording how many commercials they saw. From there they had to make a graph and determine what conclusions could be drawn from the results.

Believe it or not, they had also watched plenty of TV in the last 4 weeks too.

Thank goodness for DVR or TIVO or whatever, since we were getting home at 6:30 and faced 2 1/2 hours of just watching TV before doing the rest of the project.

We had plenty of shows that we had recorded so I took control of the remote and we breezed through the shows and stopped at the commercials. Quite the opposite of the usual way to watch TV.

But the commercials on Disney and Nick are pretty entertaining too so I switched and made them watch a Food Network show, Good Eats. Much more interesting to me, but found out they have a LOT more commercials than Disney or Nick. Very surprising!

When it came time to write their conclusions, I had to help Annabel with spelling. So she wanted me to help her write, "I am surprised...". So I spelled am, a m. So she spelled it back, mamam. HUH???

Every time I tried to explain a m then she said, ok, m, now what?

It took me a while to understand that each time I said a, she thought I meant like "the" M, so she kept on adding mamam. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it was pretty funny.

Today I had my appointment with 2 of the 3 teachers and the assistant principal. It has taken a while and lots of visits to the school, phone calls, and emails, but I think they finally understood what I was explaining and what Annabel had also told them.

Yes, Annabel still has a LOT of adjusting to do, language to learn, rules for a western society, manners, how to participate in groups, etc. BUT regardless of any or even all of this, she does not deserve to have someone taunt her, calling her bad names, make fun of her ethnicity, and spitting on her.

No specific plans were made but it did help that I knew specific situations, where they had happened, who all was involved. It has taken Annabel a LONG time to get to the point where she has shared this much.

This afternoon I decided that we needed to go shopping for something new for Easter. The girls have received so many clothes from friends that we have not bought anything in a long time and money is still so tight, but when you shop at Target, you can at least get a pretty good value and all the "extras" that girls need.

We had such a good time and ended the evening with Taco Bueno and thanks to coupons that was less than $10!

So when I write it all down like that, it does seem like a LOT for 24 hours! Plus work, plus volunteering at the book sale.

Speaking of work, this has been one of the crazier of weeks. Not due to the work itself, but due to the problems so many brought to us this week.

Then late yesterday afternoon, my co-worker Gloria, whom you have read about before, has been told that a spot on her eye may be cancerous. Not the best bed side manner, but the doctor was very frank about the risks and told how a similar patient had died within 2 months of surgery. Gloria is handling it much better than I could especially with a 15 month old and husband of 2 years.

The surgery cannot be scheduled for 2 more weeks, so there is plenty of time for prayers.

I'm thankful my friend Erika's husband is coming back from helping with the fires that have plagued North Texas. The weather is forecasting LOTS of rain, so hopefully he won't have to return any time soon.

Tomorrow has a day with building a bird house at Lowes and then possibly a craft at the Ice House. This is Annabel's first Easter, so this will be interesting.

A few more. I wish there was an easier way to add pictures.

Grace's birthday pictures

OK, so I am a lot late, but wanted to finally add some pictures. These are from Grace's birthday party at the bowling alley. We had a great time.

Tomorrow I finally have a meeting at the school. Anxious to hear what they have to say.

A fun filled day to Killeen, Texas

While some of what goes on in our lives probably is quite dull, it keeps my life quite eventful!

Today the 5th graders went to Killeen, Texas for an all day field trip.

If you had been here for the preparations for this day trip, you would have thought we were packing again for China. There was a check list that was checked twice! At least!

BUT you just cannot risk not having such vital components as your nintendo and MP3 player for the day, right? Plus your hot cheetos, yogurt, and oreos.

The preparation started last night and continued until they went out the door this morning. They made sure that Poppa knew that they had to be there NO later than 7:15, so 7:05 was the agreed upon time!

I couldn't help but worry all day for lots of reasons, but a main reason was concern for Annabel and the risk of being a target for the "mean" girls while spending so much time together.

The best part of the trip was that no one knew where and why they were going! So I have googled it and found out they went to Central Texas College.

According to Grace, the first stop was the nursery.

You know, the place where you learn to be a nurse. From there they think they had lunch and saw some movies and the library.

Annabel sat by her favorite teacher on the bus and I feel that I should apologize to the teacher. Annabel reported that the teacher kept trying to fall asleep, but that Annabel managed to ask her a question any time she nodded off.

When Grace called to tell me they were coming home early the noise on the bus was so loud it was almost impossible to hear her.

While hearing all the details, I kept asking if they were hungry, as it was getting late quick. No, neither were hungry, no problem.

Then as I sent them to get ready for bed Annabel announced that she had not eaten her dinner on the bus and was VERY hungry. I can't stand the thought of sending her to bed hungry as I am afraid she has done enough of that in her previous life.

It is not easy to prepare something that she can eat at 8:00 p.m. as she can take up to an hour just to eat a bowl of noodles. She does not like sandwiches, cereal, peanut butter and crackers, so I made rice! Thank goodness for Annabel, Grandmother brought home chicken tenders left over from her Luby's LuAnn special.

Last night at karate I thought I was going to cry.

The karate uniforms are $30 and I was just sure I could find one cheaper, but attempts at ebay were foiled as we are blocked from ebay access at work!So I kept losing out.

I had decided to go ahead and ask the instructor to order Annabel one. We got one for Grace from a neighbor whose daughter quit after just a few lessons. But Annabel was the only kid in class who did not have a uniform.

The instructor maintains a tough exterior pushing the kids to reach new levels of skill and ability while maintaining a strict environment.

But last night he came up to Annabel and handed her a new uniform.

We looked at each other shocked.

She quickly put it on and it fit perfectly and she quickly became just one in the class.

I don't think he expected to be paid but I was so glad for Annabel to "fit" in, I didn't care how much it cost. He took the check for the uniform but would not let me pay for her t shirt. What a nice guy!

A good weekend with hopes for a better week!

When you adopt a child from China, there are really strict rules on the qualifications for the adoptive parents. One of these is age. I think I know why.

By the time the adoption of Annabel was complete, I was actually past the maximum age limit, but had started the application in time, so they approved.

This weekend, I have felt every MINUTE of my age.

Friday night I helped with an auction that benefits the girls' school. This was done by a group that helped us out so much when Jana died and then again when I adopted Annabel, that I was glad to help them out for a change. ONLY all of those parents are MUCH younger than the maximum age for adopting.

We helped with setting up, then went back to get our clothes to change. While trying to make it up the steps to the party, I fell. Big time.

Our focus at work this year has been on falls and fall prevention. I had felt somewhat smug during the discussions because it had been a couple of years since I had fallen.

Friday's fall made up for it. I landed on one side, so my arm, shoulder, and leg are bruised and VERY sore. Then I had to stay on my feet through the whole thing and dogs were yapping by the end of the night.

The girls had a great time spending the night with Mom and Dad. They even went to IHOP without me and got to stay up much later than I allow!

Saturday was a day for errands and if I had not had my girls, not sure if we could have done it all.

At the grocery store, I gave the girls the coupons of what we were shopping for and away they went. I realized it was a good way for Annabel to practice reading too.

Later we went to pick up the dogs' medicine. While there, I thought the girls were just going to stay. Thankfully we have a kind and patient vet who took the time to answer thousands of questions. When I mentioned that Grace wanted to become a vet, he showed a number of scars from bites and scrapes from the animals he has treated. I don't think that was a deterrent.

Since Annabel had a hard week, I always think a visit to the Chinese buffet provides "comfort food". I told them that while we were eating and realized they are completely unfamiliar with that term. Pretty funny to explain.

Tonight while eating dinner, I asked Annabel if she had to wash her own clothes in China. She had told us before she did, but I was not sure how she did it. I am not sure what she was describing, but somewhere behind the group home, she was responsible for washing her own clothes, as well as her foster brothers. She knew how to get out the stains and rub the clothes together to get them clean. There was also some sort of scrub board they used. I forgot to ask how they dried them, but when asked about her foster family and washing clothes, she told me that her foster mother had a washing machine. I hope so, but really doubt it.

Grace had told me before about going to the river to help her foster mother wash clothes. Today she mentioned that you had to be careful not to lose your clothes by them floating down the river.

I asked Annabel if she was surprised when I adopted her that she no longer had to wash her own clothes. She said she wasn't, but she also mentioned again about her foster mother calling her "Annabel".

Grace mentioned something else that happened when she first got here and didn't tell me because she was afraid to tell me. I asked why she was afraid. She and Annabel answered quickly because in China they would have been in trouble for a lot of things they were afraid to tell me. So the safer way was not to tell me.

I wish the amount of love and support they get during the weekend could hold them through the week. This is a hard week too with another of the TAKS tests and a day long field trip. At church today, a dear sweet man prayed that they will triumph over these bullies. So do I.

A double whammy

When will this school year be over?

Last night I was overhearing a conversation between Annabel and Grace about school. Annabel was very distressed. Something had happened and it went from one topic to another finally ending with her despair over never having had a friend.

She came and laid down on my bed face down crying.

We talked for almost an hour about the problems she continues to have with just a few of the girls in her class. This isn't news. It is something we have been dealing with from the very beginning of school and continues to be the same small group of girls causing all the problems.

Annabel is so desperate to fit in and to make a friend that she has tolerated all sorts of abuse from these girls. The name calling, the pushing, the spitting, all just make my blood pressure spike!

I tried to reason with Annabel that there had to be other girls to be friends with and to just ignore these girls. I even threatened to take away privileges if she continued to pursue their friendship.

Of course I know that none of that will help.

What I really don't understand is how this continues to take place. Evidently Annabel cries at school often because her feelings are hurt. She just does not cry at home. UNLESS she is talking about things that happened at school.

Tonight I wanted to clarify a few things she told me last night. So I brought it up again.

This time I asked Grace if she had heard any of the girls saying the things that Annabel reported.

Grace began to cry and told me that something had happened at the end of the school year last year that she was afraid to tell me about.

One of the same girls that has tormented Annabel had started a "club" called IHG. While they told her it stood for something else, she knew it stood for "I hate Grace". How cruel is that? One of these little girls had been to our house several times and Grace to hers. The other has been in her class since the very first year.

She was afraid to tell me because she thought I would call the mothers involved and then then their daughters over her. Oh dear. How can I build their confidence in my love for them.

I feel so emotionally drained and overwhelmed.

I've asked for a meeting at the school. So far it has not helped, but feel I need to continue trying. I have to make sure they know that they finally have a mom that will take care of them and fight their fights.

Monday morning is not the time to give your mother a note from the Principal

Picture this:

7:00 a.m. Monday morning.

Brushing your teeth, breakfast is on the stove, you are scrambling to get ready while ensuring everyone else is also getting ready, and then your daughter hands you a sealed envelop addressed to the parents of .... from the school, you are almost sure it is not going to be good news!

Friday afternoon, Annabel had meekly confessed to being sent to the Principal's office for talking. There seemed to be some question as to whether this was her second or third strike, which would prevent her going to the field trip next week, among other things.

The story sounded familiar: Somebody was talking to her and asking her a question, and she couldn't be rude and ignore her, right? So she had to answer her. When she did, she got caught and sent to the Principal's office. Funny thing. That no talking is "for real".

But once she got down to the Principal's office there seems to be some question as to what transpired next, but she was sent back to class.

She and Grace are in the same class, so I turn to Grace and ask what happened. Crickets could be heard from the deafening silence.

Annabel thought she had been suspended.

So did they send anything home with you? A paper from the office?

No, nothing. She still was not sure, but she knew she had done wrong talking, so I dropped it.

Then this morning, after spending more than 48 hours together, the magical letter from the office appeared summoning me to school for a "hearing" for minor misconduct.

Somehow you know the day is just not starting right.

When I had the chance to look at it more closely, the dates of her infractions had been in February and the last one was dated March 5. But instead of maybe 2 or at the most 3, there were 4, therefore a hearing was needed.

Today's schedule for work did not include time for a hearing at school too, so I went by on my way to work.

The assistant principal is such a nice person. He asked what I thought was going on and I remembered that this was during the time that the girls were teasing Annabel so much and she had finally resorted to kicking one kid, gotten in trouble for talking back to one, and finally this principal had interceded on her behalf.

He agreed. Signed the letter. And that was that.

Almost.

I had told Annabel that she was grounded from watching any TV, no video games, and no MP3 player. Glad she can't text or have a cell phone. Too many electronics. Anyway, her grounding was to last for one week.

My parents never grounded us. We never left the house anyway, so that wasn't a punishment. They couldn't send us to our room, since we all shared one, so I think we just got lectures.

I decided the only person truly punished might end up being me, so this afternoon we talked about it again. I told her I understood that most had happened during a "difficult" time at school, but it was no excuse for her actions. She agreed. I lessened the punishment to two days.

I know in China, from her stories at least, punishment was usually a spanking or a slap. I knew I needed her to understand that it did not make me stop loving her and I would not resort to hitting her to make sure she understood the lesson, but did feel I needed to make sure she understood that this could become serious.

It is not much of a punishment though, since the weather is brilliant and she would much rather be outside!

Monday morning is not the best time to present Mom with bad news

Monday mornings are difficult enough, but when you are trying to brush your teeth, and your daughter hands you a sealed envelop addressed "To the parents of" at 7:00 a.m.

Grace's birthday

I am sitting here typing in the dark as we participate in Earth Hour. I hope they will publish satellite pictures if you can really see the difference turning the lights out for one hour made.

Today is Grace's 11th birthday.

Sometimes when I look at her, she seems so much older. It also feels like I have had her all her life. It is very strange and difficult to find the "right" words for time before Grace and after. So if someone recalls something from the past, the question was, "Was I here yet?" I think we need to come up with better wording. I will work on this.

I digress.

Warning! Warning! Mother beginning to brag!

Grace has such a kind soul. She is so kind and sweet with both her grandparents and her cousins. I did not realize Grace was quiet until I adopted Annabel. She always has a smile. She is so laid back, nothing seems to ruffle her. She continues to grow in love, wisdom, maturity. She loves music, just like the first reports from the orphanage said she did. You cannot hurry Grace. She takes her own sweet time on EVERYTHING. She would much rather read, draw, or play the piano than just about anything, but she has developed an enjoyment in playing outside since Annabel loves to. She rarely asks for anything. She hates to disappoint anyone. She follows the rules and makes sure I do too. She is a back seat driver making sure I follow the posted speed! I cannot imagine life now without her. I pray that her life will always be blessed with many blessings, the strength to meet all challenges, and the courage to stand up for herself.

To celebrate her birthday we started with a bowling party last night.

This was her choice.

We have only been bowling once and at that point, Grace could put on a good pout if she lost!

But she was sure this is what she wanted to do.

We invited some family and friends and had a great time. To hit any pins was a HUGE success for most of the group, so laughter was usually the music they bowled to.

After bowling was cake and presents and running out the door as the temperatures continued to plummet.

I don't think it has ever been cold on Grace's birthday and this is the first time her birthday has been on a Saturday, I guess not in her whole life, but her life with us.

Grandmom offered to fix her "deluxe" breakfast for the birthday girl and anyone else who got up in time. After that Poppa took the girls to Lowes to build a flower rain gauge. VERY CUTE! If I were Holly, I would have pictures!

Then we all went to Texas Land and Cattle for lunch.

When I sign up for things on the internet, I fake my birthday by putting in Grace's with another year, so I got all sorts of birthday greetings today, including a free adult entree at Texas Land and Cattle.

While it was very good, we have decided McDonald's is more our style!

After that we were bound and determined to get Grace some shoes that actually fit. I'm not sure why they don't do corrective shoes anymore, since I was "blessed" with them. (Not a single boy in my classes was exempt from getting kicked in the shins by my gigantic pigskin lace ups! and I wonder why I am not married??)

Since GG has green (or were they yellow?) converse, Grace decided that's what she wanted. We went to The Academy, but all we could find were some more Sketchers and a million people all trying to find shoes.

Although we were then cutting into the grandparents' nap time, they obliged us by going to Whole Earth Provision. That place has the largest collection of feet friendly shoes I have ever seen.

We lucked upon a pair on sale, so for once in Grace's life, she has 2 good pairs of shoes, that fit and do not hurt.

Annabel found herself a harmonica and entertained us all the way home.

A game that we have lots of fun with but had never had is Connect Four. So that was part of her gifts. I ALWAYS win. So the girls are always challenging me to try to beat me.

BUT my little baby has grown up and now whupped me on EVERY game!!! Annabel and I played like we were beginners! Grace won 14 games! Annabel and I each won 3, but we never had a long winning streak before Grace won again.

She is easily as competitive as I am and knows I try my best. So when she wins, she truly wins!

Dinner was Grandmother's soup, great for a VERY cold evening.

Showers were fast so we could turn out all the lights in time. But first Grace got to try out one more of her birthday gifts, her OWN hair dryer!

My new blog

My life seems split between the young and old.

One of my co-workers worries that I don't have any time with people my own age, but older adults and kids have always been my favorite groups. PLUS, I am quickly reaching the "older" group.

I have started a new blog especially for older adults and the caregivers of older adults. I am posting resources, special events, discounts, and all the other things that help make this your "Finest Years".

The website is http://thefinestyears.blogspot.com.