A double whammy

When will this school year be over?

Last night I was overhearing a conversation between Annabel and Grace about school. Annabel was very distressed. Something had happened and it went from one topic to another finally ending with her despair over never having had a friend.

She came and laid down on my bed face down crying.

We talked for almost an hour about the problems she continues to have with just a few of the girls in her class. This isn't news. It is something we have been dealing with from the very beginning of school and continues to be the same small group of girls causing all the problems.

Annabel is so desperate to fit in and to make a friend that she has tolerated all sorts of abuse from these girls. The name calling, the pushing, the spitting, all just make my blood pressure spike!

I tried to reason with Annabel that there had to be other girls to be friends with and to just ignore these girls. I even threatened to take away privileges if she continued to pursue their friendship.

Of course I know that none of that will help.

What I really don't understand is how this continues to take place. Evidently Annabel cries at school often because her feelings are hurt. She just does not cry at home. UNLESS she is talking about things that happened at school.

Tonight I wanted to clarify a few things she told me last night. So I brought it up again.

This time I asked Grace if she had heard any of the girls saying the things that Annabel reported.

Grace began to cry and told me that something had happened at the end of the school year last year that she was afraid to tell me about.

One of the same girls that has tormented Annabel had started a "club" called IHG. While they told her it stood for something else, she knew it stood for "I hate Grace". How cruel is that? One of these little girls had been to our house several times and Grace to hers. The other has been in her class since the very first year.

She was afraid to tell me because she thought I would call the mothers involved and then then their daughters over her. Oh dear. How can I build their confidence in my love for them.

I feel so emotionally drained and overwhelmed.

I've asked for a meeting at the school. So far it has not helped, but feel I need to continue trying. I have to make sure they know that they finally have a mom that will take care of them and fight their fights.