Out of a funk

I usually write my posts over and over in my mind long before it ever gets on the page. When this happens, I try to work it out so that what I end up writing will focus on the girls, rather than the distractions that at times cloud my life.


Yet, this time, it has been difficult.


I have a degree in counseling and so I try to rationalize, compartmentalize, and then justify the feelings I am experiencing.


The timing of tax day along with our 6 month follow up, was substantial.


It required reviewing the past year on so many levels.


Starting with the financial, I became overwhelmed when I looked at what I had earned, seeing how little it had increased from the previous year, but with the bottom line being that regardless of the amount, we had been through one of the toughest years financially that I have had in a LONG time.


It worried me.


With all the economic problems most are facing, had I been a good steward of the money God provided through my job? I felt like I was the receiver of the talent that had gone and buried it showing nothing but the original gift provided. Yet I could see the cost of the adoption in the other column and easily could see why money had been an issue. But once you get down on yourself, then you can begin to worry that even that talent will be taken from you. And during this time you are susceptible to rumors you hear at work, the impact evaluations of you and your performance have, and then just like that you doubt it all!


But thankfully all I have to do is step out on my deck and receive words of encouragement from having wonderful parents next door. It's not necessarily magic, but does make you feel that at least 2 people think you can do something right!


Preparing for the visit by the social worker, I was looking for pictures and other things she would need to complete her report to China.


I came across documents from our initial return home. Can I just say that was a REALLY difficult time and think I am still tired from that. Much less adding Annabel's surgery and then mine!


OK, enough about my funk!

Sunday at Earth Day was a great time.

It is amazing what has been accomplished developing Earth Day for Oak Cliff in just a few short years. Marcie, my niece, has been in charge of the artists and their displays. Probably best that I had 3 kids who did not want to look at everything there, as it saved me money! But what was even more difficult to ignore was the number of cats and dogs there who needed homes! Oh my goodness, I am so glad I can be rational sometimes. Some might even call it evidence based decision making, even though I have received low marks on that!

It was a very nice experience meeting Grace and Annabel's friend. She was a breath of fresh air compared to what they have endured from the other kids in their class. She was very polite and I especially liked that she made time for Annabel to join into the conversations!

Annabel had her first experience in a porta potty! If you have been to China you know that even their restrooms can be pretty bad, not much better than a porta potty at some public facilities. BUT after eight months here, she was not too sure about trying out our "temporary" toilets!

Grace found out that she has passed the math TAKS test, but did not get commended. I felt badly for her as she had made commended last year and was hoping to again this year.

Tonight seemed to be a good example of when too much can happen on a school night! I knew we would be pressed for time between school and piano and actually put something in the crock pot before leaving for work.

With the girls getting out of school at 5:00 and needing to leave for piano at 6:00, I was glad we did have time to sit and eat and talk together. I taught 5th grade for one and half years and very glad I don't teach it now! Stories of what happens in those classes are chaotic! It seems like everyone on facebook is helping build some final project. Their class is actually making their final project at school out of those thousand popsicle sticks! YIKES!!!!

When we came back from piano we met with a potential "dog sitter". Thankfully she thought she could handle our two ragamuffins. After she left our neighbor dropped by worried about a suspicious person who had been parked in front of our house. Good to have good neighbors.

He volunteered to watch our dogs, but the dogs just would not be his friends. Too bad!

A brief conversation with mom gave me an update on my aunt, with dementia, and a cousin diagnosed with prostate cancer at way too young of an age, plus learning a long time church member had passed away. So while the girls took their showers, I turned our meal into stew for that family.

Tomorrow morning we are celebrating volunteer week with a breakfast and then again dinner! I am so grateful to the fantastic volunteers I have worked with. They have taught me so much. Plus they are always just grateful at the wide variety of programs I keep coming up with and thankful that I care.