Monday, March 30, 2009

Monday morning is not the time to give your mother a note from the Principal

Picture this:

7:00 a.m. Monday morning.

Brushing your teeth, breakfast is on the stove, you are scrambling to get ready while ensuring everyone else is also getting ready, and then your daughter hands you a sealed envelop addressed to the parents of .... from the school, you are almost sure it is not going to be good news!

Friday afternoon, Annabel had meekly confessed to being sent to the Principal's office for talking. There seemed to be some question as to whether this was her second or third strike, which would prevent her going to the field trip next week, among other things.

The story sounded familiar: Somebody was talking to her and asking her a question, and she couldn't be rude and ignore her, right? So she had to answer her. When she did, she got caught and sent to the Principal's office. Funny thing. That no talking is "for real".

But once she got down to the Principal's office there seems to be some question as to what transpired next, but she was sent back to class.

She and Grace are in the same class, so I turn to Grace and ask what happened. Crickets could be heard from the deafening silence.

Annabel thought she had been suspended.

So did they send anything home with you? A paper from the office?

No, nothing. She still was not sure, but she knew she had done wrong talking, so I dropped it.

Then this morning, after spending more than 48 hours together, the magical letter from the office appeared summoning me to school for a "hearing" for minor misconduct.

Somehow you know the day is just not starting right.

When I had the chance to look at it more closely, the dates of her infractions had been in February and the last one was dated March 5. But instead of maybe 2 or at the most 3, there were 4, therefore a hearing was needed.

Today's schedule for work did not include time for a hearing at school too, so I went by on my way to work.

The assistant principal is such a nice person. He asked what I thought was going on and I remembered that this was during the time that the girls were teasing Annabel so much and she had finally resorted to kicking one kid, gotten in trouble for talking back to one, and finally this principal had interceded on her behalf.

He agreed. Signed the letter. And that was that.

Almost.

I had told Annabel that she was grounded from watching any TV, no video games, and no MP3 player. Glad she can't text or have a cell phone. Too many electronics. Anyway, her grounding was to last for one week.

My parents never grounded us. We never left the house anyway, so that wasn't a punishment. They couldn't send us to our room, since we all shared one, so I think we just got lectures.

I decided the only person truly punished might end up being me, so this afternoon we talked about it again. I told her I understood that most had happened during a "difficult" time at school, but it was no excuse for her actions. She agreed. I lessened the punishment to two days.

I know in China, from her stories at least, punishment was usually a spanking or a slap. I knew I needed her to understand that it did not make me stop loving her and I would not resort to hitting her to make sure she understood the lesson, but did feel I needed to make sure she understood that this could become serious.

It is not much of a punishment though, since the weather is brilliant and she would much rather be outside!

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