Picture this:
7:00 a.m. Monday morning.
Brushing your teeth, breakfast is on the stove, you are scrambling to get ready while ensuring everyone else is also getting ready, and then your daughter hands you a sealed envelop addressed to the parents of .... from the school, you are almost sure it is not going to be good news!
Friday afternoon, Annabel had meekly confessed to being sent to the Principal's office for talking. There seemed to be some question as to whether this was her second or third strike, which would prevent her going to the field trip next week, among other things.
The story sounded familiar: Somebody was talking to her and asking her a question, and she couldn't be rude and ignore her, right? So she had to answer her. When she did, she got caught and sent to the Principal's office. Funny thing. That no talking is "for real".
But once she got down to the Principal's office there seems to be some question as to what transpired next, but she was sent back to class.
She and Grace are in the same class, so I turn to Grace and ask what happened. Crickets could be heard from the deafening silence.
Annabel thought she had been suspended.
So did they send anything home with you? A paper from the office?
No, nothing. She still was not sure, but she knew she had done wrong talking, so I dropped it.
Then this morning, after spending more than 48 hours together, the magical letter from the office appeared summoning me to school for a "hearing" for minor misconduct.
Somehow you know the day is just not starting right.
When I had the chance to look at it more closely, the dates of her infractions had been in February and the last one was dated March 5. But instead of maybe 2 or at the most 3, there were 4, therefore a hearing was needed.
Today's schedule for work did not include time for a hearing at school too, so I went by on my way to work.
The assistant principal is such a nice person. He asked what I thought was going on and I remembered that this was during the time that the girls were teasing Annabel so much and she had finally resorted to kicking one kid, gotten in trouble for talking back to one, and finally this principal had interceded on her behalf.
He agreed. Signed the letter. And that was that.
Almost.
I had told Annabel that she was grounded from watching any TV, no video games, and no MP3 player. Glad she can't text or have a cell phone. Too many electronics. Anyway, her grounding was to last for one week.
My parents never grounded us. We never left the house anyway, so that wasn't a punishment. They couldn't send us to our room, since we all shared one, so I think we just got lectures.
I decided the only person truly punished might end up being me, so this afternoon we talked about it again. I told her I understood that most had happened during a "difficult" time at school, but it was no excuse for her actions. She agreed. I lessened the punishment to two days.
I know in China, from her stories at least, punishment was usually a spanking or a slap. I knew I needed her to understand that it did not make me stop loving her and I would not resort to hitting her to make sure she understood the lesson, but did feel I needed to make sure she understood that this could become serious.
It is not much of a punishment though, since the weather is brilliant and she would much rather be outside!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Monday morning is not the best time to present Mom with bad news
Monday mornings are difficult enough, but when you are trying to brush your teeth, and your daughter hands you a sealed envelop addressed "To the parents of" at 7:00 a.m.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Grace's birthday
I am sitting here typing in the dark as we participate in Earth Hour. I hope they will publish satellite pictures if you can really see the difference turning the lights out for one hour made.
Today is Grace's 11th birthday.
Sometimes when I look at her, she seems so much older. It also feels like I have had her all her life. It is very strange and difficult to find the "right" words for time before Grace and after. So if someone recalls something from the past, the question was, "Was I here yet?" I think we need to come up with better wording. I will work on this.
I digress.
Warning! Warning! Mother beginning to brag!
Grace has such a kind soul. She is so kind and sweet with both her grandparents and her cousins. I did not realize Grace was quiet until I adopted Annabel. She always has a smile. She is so laid back, nothing seems to ruffle her. She continues to grow in love, wisdom, maturity. She loves music, just like the first reports from the orphanage said she did. You cannot hurry Grace. She takes her own sweet time on EVERYTHING. She would much rather read, draw, or play the piano than just about anything, but she has developed an enjoyment in playing outside since Annabel loves to. She rarely asks for anything. She hates to disappoint anyone. She follows the rules and makes sure I do too. She is a back seat driver making sure I follow the posted speed! I cannot imagine life now without her. I pray that her life will always be blessed with many blessings, the strength to meet all challenges, and the courage to stand up for herself.
To celebrate her birthday we started with a bowling party last night.
This was her choice.
We have only been bowling once and at that point, Grace could put on a good pout if she lost!
But she was sure this is what she wanted to do.
We invited some family and friends and had a great time. To hit any pins was a HUGE success for most of the group, so laughter was usually the music they bowled to.
After bowling was cake and presents and running out the door as the temperatures continued to plummet.
I don't think it has ever been cold on Grace's birthday and this is the first time her birthday has been on a Saturday, I guess not in her whole life, but her life with us.
Grandmom offered to fix her "deluxe" breakfast for the birthday girl and anyone else who got up in time. After that Poppa took the girls to Lowes to build a flower rain gauge. VERY CUTE! If I were Holly, I would have pictures!
Then we all went to Texas Land and Cattle for lunch.
When I sign up for things on the internet, I fake my birthday by putting in Grace's with another year, so I got all sorts of birthday greetings today, including a free adult entree at Texas Land and Cattle.
While it was very good, we have decided McDonald's is more our style!
After that we were bound and determined to get Grace some shoes that actually fit. I'm not sure why they don't do corrective shoes anymore, since I was "blessed" with them. (Not a single boy in my classes was exempt from getting kicked in the shins by my gigantic pigskin lace ups! and I wonder why I am not married??)
Since GG has green (or were they yellow?) converse, Grace decided that's what she wanted. We went to The Academy, but all we could find were some more Sketchers and a million people all trying to find shoes.
Although we were then cutting into the grandparents' nap time, they obliged us by going to Whole Earth Provision. That place has the largest collection of feet friendly shoes I have ever seen.
We lucked upon a pair on sale, so for once in Grace's life, she has 2 good pairs of shoes, that fit and do not hurt.
Annabel found herself a harmonica and entertained us all the way home.
A game that we have lots of fun with but had never had is Connect Four. So that was part of her gifts. I ALWAYS win. So the girls are always challenging me to try to beat me.
BUT my little baby has grown up and now whupped me on EVERY game!!! Annabel and I played like we were beginners! Grace won 14 games! Annabel and I each won 3, but we never had a long winning streak before Grace won again.
She is easily as competitive as I am and knows I try my best. So when she wins, she truly wins!
Dinner was Grandmother's soup, great for a VERY cold evening.
Showers were fast so we could turn out all the lights in time. But first Grace got to try out one more of her birthday gifts, her OWN hair dryer!
Today is Grace's 11th birthday.
Sometimes when I look at her, she seems so much older. It also feels like I have had her all her life. It is very strange and difficult to find the "right" words for time before Grace and after. So if someone recalls something from the past, the question was, "Was I here yet?" I think we need to come up with better wording. I will work on this.
I digress.
Warning! Warning! Mother beginning to brag!
Grace has such a kind soul. She is so kind and sweet with both her grandparents and her cousins. I did not realize Grace was quiet until I adopted Annabel. She always has a smile. She is so laid back, nothing seems to ruffle her. She continues to grow in love, wisdom, maturity. She loves music, just like the first reports from the orphanage said she did. You cannot hurry Grace. She takes her own sweet time on EVERYTHING. She would much rather read, draw, or play the piano than just about anything, but she has developed an enjoyment in playing outside since Annabel loves to. She rarely asks for anything. She hates to disappoint anyone. She follows the rules and makes sure I do too. She is a back seat driver making sure I follow the posted speed! I cannot imagine life now without her. I pray that her life will always be blessed with many blessings, the strength to meet all challenges, and the courage to stand up for herself.
To celebrate her birthday we started with a bowling party last night.
This was her choice.
We have only been bowling once and at that point, Grace could put on a good pout if she lost!
But she was sure this is what she wanted to do.
We invited some family and friends and had a great time. To hit any pins was a HUGE success for most of the group, so laughter was usually the music they bowled to.
After bowling was cake and presents and running out the door as the temperatures continued to plummet.
I don't think it has ever been cold on Grace's birthday and this is the first time her birthday has been on a Saturday, I guess not in her whole life, but her life with us.
Grandmom offered to fix her "deluxe" breakfast for the birthday girl and anyone else who got up in time. After that Poppa took the girls to Lowes to build a flower rain gauge. VERY CUTE! If I were Holly, I would have pictures!
Then we all went to Texas Land and Cattle for lunch.
When I sign up for things on the internet, I fake my birthday by putting in Grace's with another year, so I got all sorts of birthday greetings today, including a free adult entree at Texas Land and Cattle.
While it was very good, we have decided McDonald's is more our style!
After that we were bound and determined to get Grace some shoes that actually fit. I'm not sure why they don't do corrective shoes anymore, since I was "blessed" with them. (Not a single boy in my classes was exempt from getting kicked in the shins by my gigantic pigskin lace ups! and I wonder why I am not married??)
Since GG has green (or were they yellow?) converse, Grace decided that's what she wanted. We went to The Academy, but all we could find were some more Sketchers and a million people all trying to find shoes.
Although we were then cutting into the grandparents' nap time, they obliged us by going to Whole Earth Provision. That place has the largest collection of feet friendly shoes I have ever seen.
We lucked upon a pair on sale, so for once in Grace's life, she has 2 good pairs of shoes, that fit and do not hurt.
Annabel found herself a harmonica and entertained us all the way home.
A game that we have lots of fun with but had never had is Connect Four. So that was part of her gifts. I ALWAYS win. So the girls are always challenging me to try to beat me.
BUT my little baby has grown up and now whupped me on EVERY game!!! Annabel and I played like we were beginners! Grace won 14 games! Annabel and I each won 3, but we never had a long winning streak before Grace won again.
She is easily as competitive as I am and knows I try my best. So when she wins, she truly wins!
Dinner was Grandmother's soup, great for a VERY cold evening.
Showers were fast so we could turn out all the lights in time. But first Grace got to try out one more of her birthday gifts, her OWN hair dryer!
My new blog
My life seems split between the young and old.
One of my co-workers worries that I don't have any time with people my own age, but older adults and kids have always been my favorite groups. PLUS, I am quickly reaching the "older" group.
I have started a new blog especially for older adults and the caregivers of older adults. I am posting resources, special events, discounts, and all the other things that help make this your "Finest Years".
The website is http://thefinestyears.blogspot.com.
One of my co-workers worries that I don't have any time with people my own age, but older adults and kids have always been my favorite groups. PLUS, I am quickly reaching the "older" group.
I have started a new blog especially for older adults and the caregivers of older adults. I am posting resources, special events, discounts, and all the other things that help make this your "Finest Years".
The website is http://thefinestyears.blogspot.com.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Spreading the word about adoption and greatest fears!
Yesterday, at work, we hosted a program on DVT, deep vein thrombosis, and our special guest was Melanie Bloom, widow of David Bloom. David Bloom, you might remember, was a reporter for NBC, and shortly after landing in Iraq to cover the war, he died unexpectedly from complications of a pulmonary embolism after long flights and then long nights sleeping in a tank.
Regardless of who I meet, lately, stories about my daughters seem to jump right into the conversation!
I was actually explaining why I was late, but it also provides a great introduction to the older children who are available for adoption.
Melanie Bloom was very interested in our story as she had a good friend who is interested in adoption, but did not want to adopt a baby. You bet I can provide you with some resources! I hope her friend will follow up as having my daughters is by far the best thing I have ever done in my life.
Now it still is not easy but it is so worth it.
Last night Annabel started telling me about being afraid of ghosts.
If I had been blogging while Grace was in 2nd, 3rd, and probably even 4th grade, we would have been talking about the same thing.
I'm not sure why the little girls in their classes are so fixated on ghosts. But there are lots of stories going around at school about ghosts and how you can call up one ghost by turning out the lights, and on, and on.
Annabel says that the scariest part is when they talk about "bloody ghosts". This is one of those stories that make me wonder how I did not laugh as she told me.
I've always tried to address their fears by being rational and helping them decide IF the stories they have heard could actually happen.
I asked why would a ghost need blood.
She didn't have an answer for that. She told me she tries to remind herself that God is with her and she does not need to be scared, but then her head keeps talking about ghost until it feels like it could bust open.
Nothing I said could allay their fears, so we added it to our prayers, and then slept with the bathroom light on.
Grace told me this morning how some of the kids were being mean to Annabel again yesterday. Asking a few more questions even uncovered that one of the teachers has been making fun of some of the kids. Yes, the same one I have had problems with. Grace said he made fun of one little girl because she is Irish. I asked if she thought he had made fun of them. She said she thought IF he did, he probably would have pulled his eyes sideways like the kids did to her in 2nd grade. Insert the noise of my heart breaking for her here.
I cannot wait to get to the new school. North Hills has 52 countries represented. Hopefully there will be no room for singling out one nationality as different.
I know there were other things I meant to write about this week, but I have been fighting the bug that Grace shared with me and feel my head is pretty foggy.
Tomorrow is Grace's 11th birthday. I cannot believe she is already that old, but of course acting SO much older.
Regardless of who I meet, lately, stories about my daughters seem to jump right into the conversation!
I was actually explaining why I was late, but it also provides a great introduction to the older children who are available for adoption.
Melanie Bloom was very interested in our story as she had a good friend who is interested in adoption, but did not want to adopt a baby. You bet I can provide you with some resources! I hope her friend will follow up as having my daughters is by far the best thing I have ever done in my life.
Now it still is not easy but it is so worth it.
Last night Annabel started telling me about being afraid of ghosts.
If I had been blogging while Grace was in 2nd, 3rd, and probably even 4th grade, we would have been talking about the same thing.
I'm not sure why the little girls in their classes are so fixated on ghosts. But there are lots of stories going around at school about ghosts and how you can call up one ghost by turning out the lights, and on, and on.
Annabel says that the scariest part is when they talk about "bloody ghosts". This is one of those stories that make me wonder how I did not laugh as she told me.
I've always tried to address their fears by being rational and helping them decide IF the stories they have heard could actually happen.
I asked why would a ghost need blood.
She didn't have an answer for that. She told me she tries to remind herself that God is with her and she does not need to be scared, but then her head keeps talking about ghost until it feels like it could bust open.
Nothing I said could allay their fears, so we added it to our prayers, and then slept with the bathroom light on.
Grace told me this morning how some of the kids were being mean to Annabel again yesterday. Asking a few more questions even uncovered that one of the teachers has been making fun of some of the kids. Yes, the same one I have had problems with. Grace said he made fun of one little girl because she is Irish. I asked if she thought he had made fun of them. She said she thought IF he did, he probably would have pulled his eyes sideways like the kids did to her in 2nd grade. Insert the noise of my heart breaking for her here.
I cannot wait to get to the new school. North Hills has 52 countries represented. Hopefully there will be no room for singling out one nationality as different.
I know there were other things I meant to write about this week, but I have been fighting the bug that Grace shared with me and feel my head is pretty foggy.
Tomorrow is Grace's 11th birthday. I cannot believe she is already that old, but of course acting SO much older.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Warning some material is PG 13
Amazon had a great deal on Guitar Hero some time back and so I bought it. When I bought our Wii, I explained to Grace that it was MINE, so she would have to earn time to play on it. That has worked out pretty well.
Well when Guitar Hero arrived, and I was making her "work" for her time to play, I told her I had to do something to "earn" Guitar Hero.
She decided today that I had earned it so while they are putting the stickers on "my" reward, I am going to update about some of what has happened today.
First off as a Mom, I have learned that a primary purpose of children must surely be to "check" your ego. At breakfast they were commenting on the sandwiches I made for the trip to the zoo. Somehow all of our conversations take a long introduction, so I sat patiently waiting for them to tell me how delicious they were. Instead, they told me they were gummy and the bread and meat stuck to the tops of their mouths!
For lunch I made sliders, you know the little hamburgers. This time I am thinking how brilliant of me to fix our lunch for about $5 when an order of sliders anywhere else is at least $10 x 3, think of the money I saved.
I made too many (and they are not something you can have on a soft diet after all) so after they each ate 2, they asked if they had to eat any more because they were very dry and salty. You will probably not want me to prepare sliders for you since they did not like theirs and I had to upchuck mine!
Annabel and I started talking at the table, where all really good conversations start in this house. She told me she can't wait to be bigger so she can have a boyfriend, because she wanted to kiss him.
This is an ongoing conversation and since I really was not sure how to kiss a boy until I was 49, then I have not known exactly how to handle this topic.
But this time she went on to say she had already kissed her boyfriend, who is the smallest kid in the class.
I told her that kissing boys is just the beginning and can lead to having babies.
She said that is exactly what she wants to do.
I know I was going to extremes, but since it is a constant in our conversations, I decided I needed to be pretty frank with the discussion.
She said she wants to have a boyfriend and kiss him and if she has a baby, then she will just kill it.
Insert shocked expression here.
I said we don't kill babies here.
She said, she would get her boyfriend to kill it.
Again shocked expression.
Trying to recover quickly with a response.
Annabel, if you kill a baby here, they will put you in prison for the rest of your life.
That's ok with her, she just wanted to get to have a boyfriend, kiss him, and have a baby.
She has told me before how her friend in China in the group home got pregnant by going to bed with a boy. She wasn't sure what they did with the baby.
This whole conversation makes me know that we are going to have many more talks about the value of life. The people in China have been in EXTREME situations and even Amy Tan writes about the disposability of a human life there. If you have read the book, "The Lost Daughters of China", the author plainly talks about the way babies have been "disposed" of to avoid facing the penalties of the law. I have no idea if it is true. But I have never lived in a communist country where the law is STRICTLY enforced and the law only allows one child per family. For a family to have a daughter, the parents know they will face their old age in even more impoverished conditions than when they are able to work for a living, because their daughter will be responsible for her husband's parents. She cannot take care of her own parents. There is no social security, 401Ks, mutual funds, or retirement accounts.
I know Annabel tells some tall tales and loves to joke, but since she has brought this up so many times I know I can't ignore it. But today of course we went further with the conversation than usual.
She recently told how they had a cow when they lived in China, which is probably NOT true, and how she went to the zoo one time and saw a panda and some dogs. Gillian and Grace thought she was kidding, but the zoo we visited in China did have dogs and chickens!
This afternoon when I checked the mail box, there was a letter from China.
She had written a letter almost as soon as we got home from China and worked on it until around Christmas, when we finally got Ms. Wu to help us address it to Annabel's foster family. I was so glad to have Ms. Wu be able to interpret for me and know she was not begging to go back to China.
I had just commented to Marcie that I was surprised they had not answered her.
Today it arrived.
I fretted over whether I should have Ms. Wu translate it for me before giving it to her. Dad and I decided maybe this would be the best.
Mom and Grace thought she needed to have it.
Grace was afraid she would get mad if she knew I kept if from her, which she would, but Mom felt like Annabel is secure enough here now to read the letter and be ok with it.
I am glad Dad and I got overruled.
I put it back in the mailbox and then sent her to check the mail.
She was so excited that she got a letter!
She wanted to duck into our house, but Poppa told her to bring it to their porch and read it to us.
She always wants to please Dad, so she sat down and started reading.
She knew her foster sister had written it because her foster mother does not know how to do that kind of writing and her foster father does not know how to write.
I am SO glad it was the sister who wrote.
She kept it light and funny from what Annabel told us.
She said her foster brother wants to grow up and take a plane and come find her so they can play together. They hoped she was being treated well and missed her. Most of this Grace translated for me and I was THRILLED that Grace could read that much in Chinese!
Annabel was very happy to have gotten the letter and know she was not forgotten. Her primary purpose in her letter, was to tell her foster father she loved him. Ms. Wu said from what she understood that Annabel had never been able to tell him that while there.
Somehow it does not seem right for an 11 year old to have this many life experiences. When I am with all 4 girls, I worry about the stress all 4 have already endured, so much so in comparison to my own "Father Knows Best" childhood. Prayers are always appreciated, for all of us.
Well when Guitar Hero arrived, and I was making her "work" for her time to play, I told her I had to do something to "earn" Guitar Hero.
She decided today that I had earned it so while they are putting the stickers on "my" reward, I am going to update about some of what has happened today.
First off as a Mom, I have learned that a primary purpose of children must surely be to "check" your ego. At breakfast they were commenting on the sandwiches I made for the trip to the zoo. Somehow all of our conversations take a long introduction, so I sat patiently waiting for them to tell me how delicious they were. Instead, they told me they were gummy and the bread and meat stuck to the tops of their mouths!
For lunch I made sliders, you know the little hamburgers. This time I am thinking how brilliant of me to fix our lunch for about $5 when an order of sliders anywhere else is at least $10 x 3, think of the money I saved.
I made too many (and they are not something you can have on a soft diet after all) so after they each ate 2, they asked if they had to eat any more because they were very dry and salty. You will probably not want me to prepare sliders for you since they did not like theirs and I had to upchuck mine!
Annabel and I started talking at the table, where all really good conversations start in this house. She told me she can't wait to be bigger so she can have a boyfriend, because she wanted to kiss him.
This is an ongoing conversation and since I really was not sure how to kiss a boy until I was 49, then I have not known exactly how to handle this topic.
But this time she went on to say she had already kissed her boyfriend, who is the smallest kid in the class.
I told her that kissing boys is just the beginning and can lead to having babies.
She said that is exactly what she wants to do.
I know I was going to extremes, but since it is a constant in our conversations, I decided I needed to be pretty frank with the discussion.
She said she wants to have a boyfriend and kiss him and if she has a baby, then she will just kill it.
Insert shocked expression here.
I said we don't kill babies here.
She said, she would get her boyfriend to kill it.
Again shocked expression.
Trying to recover quickly with a response.
Annabel, if you kill a baby here, they will put you in prison for the rest of your life.
That's ok with her, she just wanted to get to have a boyfriend, kiss him, and have a baby.
She has told me before how her friend in China in the group home got pregnant by going to bed with a boy. She wasn't sure what they did with the baby.
This whole conversation makes me know that we are going to have many more talks about the value of life. The people in China have been in EXTREME situations and even Amy Tan writes about the disposability of a human life there. If you have read the book, "The Lost Daughters of China", the author plainly talks about the way babies have been "disposed" of to avoid facing the penalties of the law. I have no idea if it is true. But I have never lived in a communist country where the law is STRICTLY enforced and the law only allows one child per family. For a family to have a daughter, the parents know they will face their old age in even more impoverished conditions than when they are able to work for a living, because their daughter will be responsible for her husband's parents. She cannot take care of her own parents. There is no social security, 401Ks, mutual funds, or retirement accounts.
I know Annabel tells some tall tales and loves to joke, but since she has brought this up so many times I know I can't ignore it. But today of course we went further with the conversation than usual.
She recently told how they had a cow when they lived in China, which is probably NOT true, and how she went to the zoo one time and saw a panda and some dogs. Gillian and Grace thought she was kidding, but the zoo we visited in China did have dogs and chickens!
This afternoon when I checked the mail box, there was a letter from China.
She had written a letter almost as soon as we got home from China and worked on it until around Christmas, when we finally got Ms. Wu to help us address it to Annabel's foster family. I was so glad to have Ms. Wu be able to interpret for me and know she was not begging to go back to China.
I had just commented to Marcie that I was surprised they had not answered her.
Today it arrived.
I fretted over whether I should have Ms. Wu translate it for me before giving it to her. Dad and I decided maybe this would be the best.
Mom and Grace thought she needed to have it.
Grace was afraid she would get mad if she knew I kept if from her, which she would, but Mom felt like Annabel is secure enough here now to read the letter and be ok with it.
I am glad Dad and I got overruled.
I put it back in the mailbox and then sent her to check the mail.
She was so excited that she got a letter!
She wanted to duck into our house, but Poppa told her to bring it to their porch and read it to us.
She always wants to please Dad, so she sat down and started reading.
She knew her foster sister had written it because her foster mother does not know how to do that kind of writing and her foster father does not know how to write.
I am SO glad it was the sister who wrote.
She kept it light and funny from what Annabel told us.
She said her foster brother wants to grow up and take a plane and come find her so they can play together. They hoped she was being treated well and missed her. Most of this Grace translated for me and I was THRILLED that Grace could read that much in Chinese!
Annabel was very happy to have gotten the letter and know she was not forgotten. Her primary purpose in her letter, was to tell her foster father she loved him. Ms. Wu said from what she understood that Annabel had never been able to tell him that while there.
Somehow it does not seem right for an 11 year old to have this many life experiences. When I am with all 4 girls, I worry about the stress all 4 have already endured, so much so in comparison to my own "Father Knows Best" childhood. Prayers are always appreciated, for all of us.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Spring Break!
Spring break can sure go by in a hurry! We loved having Gillian and Darcey for all the fun, but they are now on their way back to Round Rock and Mom, Dad, Grace, and Annabel are on their way home.
I am enjoying a few minutes of quiet. I love my deck and watching as everything comes to life for spring.
I ended up having to go to work this morning as a reporter for the Dallas Morning News wanted to do a story on our line dancing classes. The instructor introduced a new dance called the Obama Hustle. I am so glad so many will come, despite their aches and pains, and do something so beneficial for themselves. If it ends up in the news, I will put a link later.
When Gillian and Darcey got here Sunday, Darcey was still recovering from a bad cold/sinus/bronchitis, not really sure. I don't think Grace could have caught it from her that quickly, but now Grace is so sick. She coughs in spite of the amount of cough syrup I put down her, and sneezes, and blows her nose. Just overall feeling like yuck. But that has not slowed her down but a little bit.
This morning as I left, Annabel had convinced Darcey to attach the jump rope to the scooter, and pull her down the sidewalk. Those 2 are something else! I hope Annabel will start growing soon or Darcey is going to pass her.
Gillian was helping her grandfather vacuum out the car, plant some flowers, steam press his pants. She just does not stop. She made 2 kinds of cookies yesterday. She also fixed meat loaf and several other things while here. She loves to cook, but has little opportunity at home. She is becoming more like her mother every day. I told her we did not have to miss Jana, because we had her in Gillian. Thanks to all the ladies who prayed fervently for Jana to get pregnant. I don't know how we would have handled this loss without having Gillian.
My Grace was keeping her grandmother company on the swing and trying really hard to feel well enough to make the drive to Waco to drop the girls off.
Last night was karate and I tried to convince Grace not to go, but she was adamant.
For some unknown reason, I did not think about karate being about fighting.
Last night proved me wrong.
The instructor had invited another black belt, an older man, to come and "spar" with the students.
I thought he would just do it with those who had been there for a while.
We soon found out that EVERYONE would have a turn, whether they wanted to or not.
Gillian, Darcey, and I sat there in a panic, watching, waiting, breathless of when the girls would be called up. Darcey kept covering her eyes with my hand.
Annabel was up first and she went after him. She did her kicks and hits the correct way, so he started "fighting" back. Pretty quickly though it was no longer fun to her and she froze and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. I know this is what happens at school. It happened a few times when we first got home when she and I would knock heads.
I did not know what to do. My first instinct was just jump up, hit the instructor and wrap my arms around Annabel.
But I know they cannot always have me there to defend themselves and that is the purpose of the class in some ways, so I just sat there, trying to discretely get her attention and give her a thumbs up for trying so hard.
Grace's turn came and we all froze again!
The instructor took some time explaining what she needed to do and she got him pretty good.
I wanted Annabel to have another turn to work out her bottled up anger, fears, emotions, but of course that didn't happen.
I wish I knew what had happened in those first 11 years that make her shut down and not fight back. I don't really want her to fight, but she does need to find a way to express her emotions, especially anger. I keep trying to decide if some counseling would help, but maybe later.
Yesterday morning, Marcie and Drew volunteered to take the kids to the zoo. We picked them up and were at the zoo within 5 minutes of it opening. It was a good thing, because by the time I dropped them off, even the back parking lot was full.
I took advantage of the time and actually thought I was going to go trade cars. OK, you can quit laughing now. I know I couldn't do it that quickly, but I really hoped to find a car that would bring down our monthly payments. The doctor and hospital bills are keeping me awake at night as they continue to pile up, and mine haven't even started yet. It seems like if the economy is so bad, car dealers would love to just get the cars off their lots. Not really. The 3 I visited are getting to keep all of theirs.
I had to work on Wednesday, so Mom and Dad took all 4 girls shoe shopping. I have done it way too many times and know how CRAZY that can be. Only 3 out of 4 found shoes and I again want to cuss the people who squeezed Grace's feet into so tiny shoes that it is almost impossible to find shoes that fit.
Mom reported she almost had a nervous breakdown from the experience. All 4 love to try on the higher heels and make you look at each pair. And when the 4 are together in a tight spot, they just get really loud! I am so sorry I missed the fun.
I can't even remember Tuesday right now and my battery is almost dead. I do have the pictures and will add them later.
I am enjoying a few minutes of quiet. I love my deck and watching as everything comes to life for spring.
I ended up having to go to work this morning as a reporter for the Dallas Morning News wanted to do a story on our line dancing classes. The instructor introduced a new dance called the Obama Hustle. I am so glad so many will come, despite their aches and pains, and do something so beneficial for themselves. If it ends up in the news, I will put a link later.
When Gillian and Darcey got here Sunday, Darcey was still recovering from a bad cold/sinus/bronchitis, not really sure. I don't think Grace could have caught it from her that quickly, but now Grace is so sick. She coughs in spite of the amount of cough syrup I put down her, and sneezes, and blows her nose. Just overall feeling like yuck. But that has not slowed her down but a little bit.
This morning as I left, Annabel had convinced Darcey to attach the jump rope to the scooter, and pull her down the sidewalk. Those 2 are something else! I hope Annabel will start growing soon or Darcey is going to pass her.
Gillian was helping her grandfather vacuum out the car, plant some flowers, steam press his pants. She just does not stop. She made 2 kinds of cookies yesterday. She also fixed meat loaf and several other things while here. She loves to cook, but has little opportunity at home. She is becoming more like her mother every day. I told her we did not have to miss Jana, because we had her in Gillian. Thanks to all the ladies who prayed fervently for Jana to get pregnant. I don't know how we would have handled this loss without having Gillian.
My Grace was keeping her grandmother company on the swing and trying really hard to feel well enough to make the drive to Waco to drop the girls off.
Last night was karate and I tried to convince Grace not to go, but she was adamant.
For some unknown reason, I did not think about karate being about fighting.
Last night proved me wrong.
The instructor had invited another black belt, an older man, to come and "spar" with the students.
I thought he would just do it with those who had been there for a while.
We soon found out that EVERYONE would have a turn, whether they wanted to or not.
Gillian, Darcey, and I sat there in a panic, watching, waiting, breathless of when the girls would be called up. Darcey kept covering her eyes with my hand.
Annabel was up first and she went after him. She did her kicks and hits the correct way, so he started "fighting" back. Pretty quickly though it was no longer fun to her and she froze and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. I know this is what happens at school. It happened a few times when we first got home when she and I would knock heads.
I did not know what to do. My first instinct was just jump up, hit the instructor and wrap my arms around Annabel.
But I know they cannot always have me there to defend themselves and that is the purpose of the class in some ways, so I just sat there, trying to discretely get her attention and give her a thumbs up for trying so hard.
Grace's turn came and we all froze again!
The instructor took some time explaining what she needed to do and she got him pretty good.
I wanted Annabel to have another turn to work out her bottled up anger, fears, emotions, but of course that didn't happen.
I wish I knew what had happened in those first 11 years that make her shut down and not fight back. I don't really want her to fight, but she does need to find a way to express her emotions, especially anger. I keep trying to decide if some counseling would help, but maybe later.
Yesterday morning, Marcie and Drew volunteered to take the kids to the zoo. We picked them up and were at the zoo within 5 minutes of it opening. It was a good thing, because by the time I dropped them off, even the back parking lot was full.
I took advantage of the time and actually thought I was going to go trade cars. OK, you can quit laughing now. I know I couldn't do it that quickly, but I really hoped to find a car that would bring down our monthly payments. The doctor and hospital bills are keeping me awake at night as they continue to pile up, and mine haven't even started yet. It seems like if the economy is so bad, car dealers would love to just get the cars off their lots. Not really. The 3 I visited are getting to keep all of theirs.
I had to work on Wednesday, so Mom and Dad took all 4 girls shoe shopping. I have done it way too many times and know how CRAZY that can be. Only 3 out of 4 found shoes and I again want to cuss the people who squeezed Grace's feet into so tiny shoes that it is almost impossible to find shoes that fit.
Mom reported she almost had a nervous breakdown from the experience. All 4 love to try on the higher heels and make you look at each pair. And when the 4 are together in a tight spot, they just get really loud! I am so sorry I missed the fun.
I can't even remember Tuesday right now and my battery is almost dead. I do have the pictures and will add them later.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Pictures to follow
I've got 4 girls on a big pallet watching one of the Air Bud movies at almost 11:00 at night. They are full of ice cream bars, cookies, pizza rolls, taquitos, and bagel bites. Here's hoping they are worn out enough that sleep will not be an issue and that no one will throw up!
Today has been a great day where you feel like you got your money's worth of a vacation day.
We started early going to the Dallas Arboretum. After all of these years living in Dallas, this was just my second trip ever and for all the girls, their first. They had amazing displays of flowers and incredible playhouses based on a variety of children's books, like Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, and the ever popular, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.
They also had a great Texas Early Settlers display of original Texas homes, sod homes, tepees, etc and a whole town from Little House on the Prairie. These were favorites of the girls.
With 66 acres, it seemed like most were filled with toddlers and their moms. I was thankful that my girls are big enough to know where they should be and not in the middle of the flower displays picking flowers!
While there Lisa took pictures for one of Marcie's students for her senior picture. Since we lost them early on, we were ready for lunch before we could find them and spread out our place on the really damp grass but eagerly consumed three foot long subs from Subway!
The girls were constantly reminding me to sit down trying to make sure I did not over do it, but tonight I feel every step i took.
Of course the younger of our group were not tired after all of that and jumped out playing, riding bikes, and jumping rope! They even went with Marcie to help her plant some flowers while I took a nap!
Since we planned our sleepover for tonight we had to have "special" food and DVDs so we made use of the gift card from Gloria for Christmas to provide entertainment tonight. Thanks Gloria!
I know it is hard for the girls to stay here but hope if we are all sleeping together, it will be ok. Mom is standing ready to let everyone back in if they need to retreat.
Last night we stayed up watching Ice Princess but everyone was up at 8:00 for Grandmother's breakfast.
The whole weekend seemed to be focused on just waiting on Lisa, Gillian, and Darcey to arrive, but we had a great Saturday, sleeping late, and taking it easy. The girls were anxious to finish their quilt pillows they had started a couple of weeks earlier and worked until they were completed. Very interesting quilts, free form is the understatement, but a finished project and I am impressed with that!
We met some of our friends for dinner at Hunky's and enjoyed visiting. It was nice to compare notes with other moms of girls of similar age! And we all have the same issues, regardless of whether you have been here six months or most of your life! I love for the girls to have the chance to meet up with other girls from China and for once not be the only ones.
It was nice to be back at church after missing the last two weeks. It was even nicer to know the girls would be home soon after we were and all sit down to one of Mom's famous roast dinners. It was easy to forget what I was supposed to eat with everyone around the table and regretted it too soon! Even with the new "miracle" cure from a friend at church.
Tomorrow we plan on lots of play time and a great meal at El Fenix! Lisa is leaving a day earlier than expected since no one at her house can find anything without her! The girls have decided to stay and hope that works out.
Air Bud has now learned to play football and the new boyfriend has just proposed, so we are probably halfway through and we are slowing down. More tomorrow! Plus pictures! Promise!
Today has been a great day where you feel like you got your money's worth of a vacation day.
We started early going to the Dallas Arboretum. After all of these years living in Dallas, this was just my second trip ever and for all the girls, their first. They had amazing displays of flowers and incredible playhouses based on a variety of children's books, like Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, and the ever popular, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.
They also had a great Texas Early Settlers display of original Texas homes, sod homes, tepees, etc and a whole town from Little House on the Prairie. These were favorites of the girls.
With 66 acres, it seemed like most were filled with toddlers and their moms. I was thankful that my girls are big enough to know where they should be and not in the middle of the flower displays picking flowers!
While there Lisa took pictures for one of Marcie's students for her senior picture. Since we lost them early on, we were ready for lunch before we could find them and spread out our place on the really damp grass but eagerly consumed three foot long subs from Subway!
The girls were constantly reminding me to sit down trying to make sure I did not over do it, but tonight I feel every step i took.
Of course the younger of our group were not tired after all of that and jumped out playing, riding bikes, and jumping rope! They even went with Marcie to help her plant some flowers while I took a nap!
Since we planned our sleepover for tonight we had to have "special" food and DVDs so we made use of the gift card from Gloria for Christmas to provide entertainment tonight. Thanks Gloria!
I know it is hard for the girls to stay here but hope if we are all sleeping together, it will be ok. Mom is standing ready to let everyone back in if they need to retreat.
Last night we stayed up watching Ice Princess but everyone was up at 8:00 for Grandmother's breakfast.
The whole weekend seemed to be focused on just waiting on Lisa, Gillian, and Darcey to arrive, but we had a great Saturday, sleeping late, and taking it easy. The girls were anxious to finish their quilt pillows they had started a couple of weeks earlier and worked until they were completed. Very interesting quilts, free form is the understatement, but a finished project and I am impressed with that!
We met some of our friends for dinner at Hunky's and enjoyed visiting. It was nice to compare notes with other moms of girls of similar age! And we all have the same issues, regardless of whether you have been here six months or most of your life! I love for the girls to have the chance to meet up with other girls from China and for once not be the only ones.
It was nice to be back at church after missing the last two weeks. It was even nicer to know the girls would be home soon after we were and all sit down to one of Mom's famous roast dinners. It was easy to forget what I was supposed to eat with everyone around the table and regretted it too soon! Even with the new "miracle" cure from a friend at church.
Tomorrow we plan on lots of play time and a great meal at El Fenix! Lisa is leaving a day earlier than expected since no one at her house can find anything without her! The girls have decided to stay and hope that works out.
Air Bud has now learned to play football and the new boyfriend has just proposed, so we are probably halfway through and we are slowing down. More tomorrow! Plus pictures! Promise!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Feet and karate
It is so helpful to have online friends who have gone through similar situations. I have heard from so many in their care and concern over the bullies the girls are dealing with at school.
One mom wrote and told about her own experiences and how she handled it as a teen. She did not recommend handling it like she did but did suggest the idea of karate classes to help build esteem and confidence.
A long time ago I took the girls to see a class and determine their interest. At the time the only class I knew was across town and did not seem like something workable.
In the meantime I had learned about classes at our local rec center, with more reasonable prices. So this afternoon we dropped by to check out the classes, prices, etc. The girls were interested and we went back to give it a try.
It was hard to sit on the sidelines but I have not been released to do this type of exercise because the girls seemed to really get into it. There was a LOT more exercise to it than I expected but they made it through and decided they could not wait to go again on Thursday.
I can see why it does build confidence and is a good workout. It teaches you to work out your brain as much as your body. Both have continued their "workout" even in the car.
I got help to keep going tonight, since it had also been my first day back at work, because Mom made her world famous chicken and dumplings. They were delicious and easy for me to eat!
For my first day back it seemed to be packed, not just with work, but also the girls had a doctor's appointment this afternoon.
When I adopted Grace, being new to being a mom, and probably just slow, it took me several days to realize the shoes they had put her in to meet me were so big it was difficult for her to walk. Grace's feet had evidently been forced into such small shoes usually that she has had problems with her feet for the last 4 years. It has been so difficult to find any shoes to fit and lately she has complained about them hurting even more.
After our visit to Children's Medical and the comprehensive exam there, the doctor urged me to contact a podiatrist for Grace's foot problems. It seems that the foot pain has been from plantar fasciitis. No wonder she has been complaining. I know a lot of adults who have been felled with this! I am glad that I had him look at Annabel's feet because she too has plantar fasciitis! He ordered orthotics for both and hope that they will help.
Every time we make improvements in their life I fight the feelings of anger, sadness, and then hope. If my girls feet can get better and their self esteem improves, look out world! They will be on the top of their game.
One mom wrote and told about her own experiences and how she handled it as a teen. She did not recommend handling it like she did but did suggest the idea of karate classes to help build esteem and confidence.
A long time ago I took the girls to see a class and determine their interest. At the time the only class I knew was across town and did not seem like something workable.
In the meantime I had learned about classes at our local rec center, with more reasonable prices. So this afternoon we dropped by to check out the classes, prices, etc. The girls were interested and we went back to give it a try.
It was hard to sit on the sidelines but I have not been released to do this type of exercise because the girls seemed to really get into it. There was a LOT more exercise to it than I expected but they made it through and decided they could not wait to go again on Thursday.
I can see why it does build confidence and is a good workout. It teaches you to work out your brain as much as your body. Both have continued their "workout" even in the car.
I got help to keep going tonight, since it had also been my first day back at work, because Mom made her world famous chicken and dumplings. They were delicious and easy for me to eat!
For my first day back it seemed to be packed, not just with work, but also the girls had a doctor's appointment this afternoon.
When I adopted Grace, being new to being a mom, and probably just slow, it took me several days to realize the shoes they had put her in to meet me were so big it was difficult for her to walk. Grace's feet had evidently been forced into such small shoes usually that she has had problems with her feet for the last 4 years. It has been so difficult to find any shoes to fit and lately she has complained about them hurting even more.
After our visit to Children's Medical and the comprehensive exam there, the doctor urged me to contact a podiatrist for Grace's foot problems. It seems that the foot pain has been from plantar fasciitis. No wonder she has been complaining. I know a lot of adults who have been felled with this! I am glad that I had him look at Annabel's feet because she too has plantar fasciitis! He ordered orthotics for both and hope that they will help.
Every time we make improvements in their life I fight the feelings of anger, sadness, and then hope. If my girls feet can get better and their self esteem improves, look out world! They will be on the top of their game.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Hard to leave beauty!
This has been a beautiful weekend and it is hard to turn loose of the girls to face their challenges of the coming week.
We spent Saturday going through clothes, trying to sort out the cold winter clothes, since we think that part is over! But with Dallas weather it could still freeze and snow on Easter. But the girls needed to find something for our 89 degree weather!
Mom came over to help and instead had a good laugh at me dealing with issues she knows way too well from all of us.
Growing up, our house only had 2 bedrooms and 1 bath. There were 6 of us, so that meant one bedroom had 4 for the majority of the time. With it being an old house, there was also a HUGE LACK of closet space, more like a coat closet in each bedroom. But if you have 4 sleeping in a room there isn't a lot of room for dressers or chests of drawers either, so we ALWAYS took time to box up our clothes at the end of each season. Unless of course they were pants that had gotten too short and then they transcended the seasons and became shorts. Or a sleeveless shirt from your long sleeved one also was created.
We were fashion plates!!!
Even though this house is bigger than what I grew up in and have half the people, we still seem to be without any storage space!
So we put it all in the dining room and began to sort through it.
Quickly both girls became bored with it and the more bored they were the grumpier they got and the more Mom laughed as I tried my best to keep them on task. Goodness what a great way to spend a beautiful afternoon! But at least they could find something to wear today so we did have success!
This afternoon we made it all the way to the grocery store to pick up prescriptions and while out, I knew I did not feel like trying to think of something for dinner, so we took advantage of a coupon from McDonalds.
While there, the noise level was so high with the children way out of control, yet the parents only seeming to ignore it, I feel I got an idea of why there are the problems in the girls' school. If this is a sample of how the children are disciplined at home, no wonder they have no concept of appropriate behavior in school.
I know it is an area to have a good time, but this was just bad behavior, with one bully pouring her water down another kid's shirt, one hitting another, and that was just one group.
Which brings me to my original thought. It is hard to send my girls back to school when I am not sure they are any better prepared to deal with the bullies there.
I got a great email from a friend who told about her own experiences with a bully at school. She ended up making her point with her bully in a physical way. It is tempting to urge them to try this at this point, but she also suggested some martial arts classes to help them in building self esteem. I think this might be a good idea.
I've also added a prayer specifically for the primary bully. After what I saw at McDonalds I think she needs more help than what can be provided without some help. I am praying for a better week for both.
We spent Saturday going through clothes, trying to sort out the cold winter clothes, since we think that part is over! But with Dallas weather it could still freeze and snow on Easter. But the girls needed to find something for our 89 degree weather!
Mom came over to help and instead had a good laugh at me dealing with issues she knows way too well from all of us.
Growing up, our house only had 2 bedrooms and 1 bath. There were 6 of us, so that meant one bedroom had 4 for the majority of the time. With it being an old house, there was also a HUGE LACK of closet space, more like a coat closet in each bedroom. But if you have 4 sleeping in a room there isn't a lot of room for dressers or chests of drawers either, so we ALWAYS took time to box up our clothes at the end of each season. Unless of course they were pants that had gotten too short and then they transcended the seasons and became shorts. Or a sleeveless shirt from your long sleeved one also was created.
We were fashion plates!!!
Even though this house is bigger than what I grew up in and have half the people, we still seem to be without any storage space!
So we put it all in the dining room and began to sort through it.
Quickly both girls became bored with it and the more bored they were the grumpier they got and the more Mom laughed as I tried my best to keep them on task. Goodness what a great way to spend a beautiful afternoon! But at least they could find something to wear today so we did have success!
This afternoon we made it all the way to the grocery store to pick up prescriptions and while out, I knew I did not feel like trying to think of something for dinner, so we took advantage of a coupon from McDonalds.
While there, the noise level was so high with the children way out of control, yet the parents only seeming to ignore it, I feel I got an idea of why there are the problems in the girls' school. If this is a sample of how the children are disciplined at home, no wonder they have no concept of appropriate behavior in school.
I know it is an area to have a good time, but this was just bad behavior, with one bully pouring her water down another kid's shirt, one hitting another, and that was just one group.
Which brings me to my original thought. It is hard to send my girls back to school when I am not sure they are any better prepared to deal with the bullies there.
I got a great email from a friend who told about her own experiences with a bully at school. She ended up making her point with her bully in a physical way. It is tempting to urge them to try this at this point, but she also suggested some martial arts classes to help them in building self esteem. I think this might be a good idea.
I've also added a prayer specifically for the primary bully. After what I saw at McDonalds I think she needs more help than what can be provided without some help. I am praying for a better week for both.
Friday, March 6, 2009
One up, one down
This afternoon I decided to call the assistant principal and instead of pointing the finger at the students who had given Annabel such a hard time all week, ask for his assistance in helping both us know the better way to handle this.
As soon as he answered he said he had meant to call me.
Seems like Annabel's friend told her she did not win a game they were playing, Annabel's feelings were hurt and she started crying. And once those tears started, the rest of the week must have come out too and she could not stop crying.
Her teacher wanted to know what was going on and for once Annabel decided to trust someone to help her and told her all that had happened. Thank goodness for this teacher and interceding on Annabel's behalf.
When I called, this teacher had just been in to discuss the matter with the assistant principal. He had decided to call the girls into his office and have a talk with them.
At the end the girls were told to apologize to Annabel and ask to be her friend.
Annabel was on cloud nine and felt like all her issues were resolved. I HOPE SO!
But then Grace sat down beside me to tell me a rather long and complicated story that boiled down to the fact that Annabel's primary tormentor had taken a permanent market and marked out Grace's face on her copy of the class picture.
Grace was so hurt. She was the only person she had done this to. She cried and cried.
I pray that this girl, who seems to get so much joy from hurting others, will find the help she needs. I don't know anything about her home life, but best guess is there are some problems there. She obviously is not a happy person that by the age of 10 derives her only pleasure from the pain of others.
I went for my post op visit yesterday and found out that out of 25 years of doing this type of hiatal hernia repair, that I rank in the top 3 of the worst! He filled me in on some of the details of the surgery and I will need a second surgery to complete the process. I don't look forward to this as I have been extremely sick to my stomach tonight by trying to eat something a little different. Annabel designated herself to be my caregiver guarding me from any jumping dogs!
As soon as he answered he said he had meant to call me.
Seems like Annabel's friend told her she did not win a game they were playing, Annabel's feelings were hurt and she started crying. And once those tears started, the rest of the week must have come out too and she could not stop crying.
Her teacher wanted to know what was going on and for once Annabel decided to trust someone to help her and told her all that had happened. Thank goodness for this teacher and interceding on Annabel's behalf.
When I called, this teacher had just been in to discuss the matter with the assistant principal. He had decided to call the girls into his office and have a talk with them.
At the end the girls were told to apologize to Annabel and ask to be her friend.
Annabel was on cloud nine and felt like all her issues were resolved. I HOPE SO!
But then Grace sat down beside me to tell me a rather long and complicated story that boiled down to the fact that Annabel's primary tormentor had taken a permanent market and marked out Grace's face on her copy of the class picture.
Grace was so hurt. She was the only person she had done this to. She cried and cried.
I pray that this girl, who seems to get so much joy from hurting others, will find the help she needs. I don't know anything about her home life, but best guess is there are some problems there. She obviously is not a happy person that by the age of 10 derives her only pleasure from the pain of others.
I went for my post op visit yesterday and found out that out of 25 years of doing this type of hiatal hernia repair, that I rank in the top 3 of the worst! He filled me in on some of the details of the surgery and I will need a second surgery to complete the process. I don't look forward to this as I have been extremely sick to my stomach tonight by trying to eat something a little different. Annabel designated herself to be my caregiver guarding me from any jumping dogs!
Three strikes
Last night, Annabel finally told me what had happened at school in the afternoon program.
She had found a ball on the playground on their walk down to the nature center, where they have their program on Wednesdays.
While she was showing the ball to her "friends", one girl spit on the ball.
Yes, you heard me correctly. She spit on the ball.
I was flabbergasted. Why would she spit on the ball?
Because she wanted it and thought Annabel would drop it then. BUT they had done it to Annabel before and she decided this time to hold onto it.
Do you see the steam coming out of my ears?
I am so upset that any child has such a lack of upbringing that she would think it is appropriate to do something like that.
Now in China everyone spits.
When I first adopted Grace, she spit at the table even. If you get something that doesn't seem right while eating, you spit it out.
BUT it was also one of the first things I worked with her, that it was not acceptable in our culture to spit.
Now to have someone spit on something that Annabel was holding makes me livid.
This is the same little girl that has caused so many problems and swore her undying devotion to Annabel at first.
If you have not met Annabel, you might consider her what most stereotypically think a Chinese girl should be like.
But that is not Annabel.
She has so much spunk and wit and kindness, all wrapped up in this tiny package that has seen more hardships that should ever be allowed, with a pretty solid outer shell. She makes me think of both of my grandmothers, one that could fight bears, and the other, I can't explain but at times feels she is a reincarnate of my other grandmother. Neither were lacking for spunk and both seemed pretty solid.
So here is my little fighter of bears who continues to be defeated by bullies in her class.
I try to think of ways to help her face these kids, whether to stand up to them, report them, ignore them, but none seem to be the way Annabel wants to handle it.
We talked in detail about that she is the one who has to make the change, as no one else can control these kids' behavior. Obviously not their parents, or else their parents act as badly.
Last night in our prayers I included a special one that my girls could learn to control their own behavior around people who did not treat them right, as I have explained, this will happen all your life.
This morning I took charge of the breakfast prayer and reiterated my plea for God to help both in their dealing with others, to befriend appropriate kids, and learn how to deal with others.
Annabel has begun giving me a hug in the afternoons, ever since my surgery.
Today she avoided me like the plague. She hemmed and hawed and finally told me I would be mad.
She had gotten her third strike.
Evidently after three strikes then you are at risk of being suspended for three days.
OK, deep breath and the question, "what happened?"
There is always one kids in every class who looks like he or she has been held back at least twice and stands a good six inches above the rest of the kids and probably outweighs them by 50 pounds.
Well this kid is forever telling Annabel that she stinks and then makes a farting noise.
Annabel has a long tolerance level, evidently, but today it snapped, and she tried to kick the boy.
The teacher, same one where most of these things happen in his class, asked what the ruckus was.
Well each kind of told what had happened.
The teacher asked the kid if Annabel had tried to kick him and he said no, but then another kid, who was so not into this whole conversation jumps in and starts saying Annabel did too kick the giant kid.
So she was required to sign the book and as they changed classes, this teacher told the next one that she had gotten her third strike. Annabel was devastated.
I talked to her.
Mom talked to her.
Dad talked to her.
I have also tried to explain that she cannot tease and "pretend" punch or kick and not expect to get into trouble, that people do not really like that kind of behavior.
For all the wisdom she brings and maturity on more complex matters, Annabel is really immature for her age in dealing with her peers.
No, she was not in trouble with me and I was not mad. I would be if she just jumped up and kicked someone, or said something bad about them, or she had started it, but no, under the circumstances, I was not mad. And if she gets suspended, we will deal with it then.
In some ways Annabel wants Grace to rescue her, but Grace is somewhat reluctant as she does not want the attention drawn to her. She has learned to ignore them or report it or at least threaten to report them to the teacher.
I don't know what to do.
Grace asked me very casually the other morning whether you always had to deal with bullies. Yes, unfortunately there are quite a few adults who like to bully others and so you have to learn early how to deal with that issue.
She had found a ball on the playground on their walk down to the nature center, where they have their program on Wednesdays.
While she was showing the ball to her "friends", one girl spit on the ball.
Yes, you heard me correctly. She spit on the ball.
I was flabbergasted. Why would she spit on the ball?
Because she wanted it and thought Annabel would drop it then. BUT they had done it to Annabel before and she decided this time to hold onto it.
Do you see the steam coming out of my ears?
I am so upset that any child has such a lack of upbringing that she would think it is appropriate to do something like that.
Now in China everyone spits.
When I first adopted Grace, she spit at the table even. If you get something that doesn't seem right while eating, you spit it out.
BUT it was also one of the first things I worked with her, that it was not acceptable in our culture to spit.
Now to have someone spit on something that Annabel was holding makes me livid.
This is the same little girl that has caused so many problems and swore her undying devotion to Annabel at first.
If you have not met Annabel, you might consider her what most stereotypically think a Chinese girl should be like.
But that is not Annabel.
She has so much spunk and wit and kindness, all wrapped up in this tiny package that has seen more hardships that should ever be allowed, with a pretty solid outer shell. She makes me think of both of my grandmothers, one that could fight bears, and the other, I can't explain but at times feels she is a reincarnate of my other grandmother. Neither were lacking for spunk and both seemed pretty solid.
So here is my little fighter of bears who continues to be defeated by bullies in her class.
I try to think of ways to help her face these kids, whether to stand up to them, report them, ignore them, but none seem to be the way Annabel wants to handle it.
We talked in detail about that she is the one who has to make the change, as no one else can control these kids' behavior. Obviously not their parents, or else their parents act as badly.
Last night in our prayers I included a special one that my girls could learn to control their own behavior around people who did not treat them right, as I have explained, this will happen all your life.
This morning I took charge of the breakfast prayer and reiterated my plea for God to help both in their dealing with others, to befriend appropriate kids, and learn how to deal with others.
Annabel has begun giving me a hug in the afternoons, ever since my surgery.
Today she avoided me like the plague. She hemmed and hawed and finally told me I would be mad.
She had gotten her third strike.
Evidently after three strikes then you are at risk of being suspended for three days.
OK, deep breath and the question, "what happened?"
There is always one kids in every class who looks like he or she has been held back at least twice and stands a good six inches above the rest of the kids and probably outweighs them by 50 pounds.
Well this kid is forever telling Annabel that she stinks and then makes a farting noise.
Annabel has a long tolerance level, evidently, but today it snapped, and she tried to kick the boy.
The teacher, same one where most of these things happen in his class, asked what the ruckus was.
Well each kind of told what had happened.
The teacher asked the kid if Annabel had tried to kick him and he said no, but then another kid, who was so not into this whole conversation jumps in and starts saying Annabel did too kick the giant kid.
So she was required to sign the book and as they changed classes, this teacher told the next one that she had gotten her third strike. Annabel was devastated.
I talked to her.
Mom talked to her.
Dad talked to her.
I have also tried to explain that she cannot tease and "pretend" punch or kick and not expect to get into trouble, that people do not really like that kind of behavior.
For all the wisdom she brings and maturity on more complex matters, Annabel is really immature for her age in dealing with her peers.
No, she was not in trouble with me and I was not mad. I would be if she just jumped up and kicked someone, or said something bad about them, or she had started it, but no, under the circumstances, I was not mad. And if she gets suspended, we will deal with it then.
In some ways Annabel wants Grace to rescue her, but Grace is somewhat reluctant as she does not want the attention drawn to her. She has learned to ignore them or report it or at least threaten to report them to the teacher.
I don't know what to do.
Grace asked me very casually the other morning whether you always had to deal with bullies. Yes, unfortunately there are quite a few adults who like to bully others and so you have to learn early how to deal with that issue.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Paris, Texas
I've spent too much time tonight trying to get some of the pictures from my aunt's birthday party loaded and finally realize it just won't happen tonight.
When the girls returned from Paris, I was anxious to hear their impressions of everything.
Paris, Texas is where we spent most weekends, holidays, birthdays growing up. If you are not familiar with it, it is almost on the Texas/Oklahoma border almost to Arkansas too, with a population of about 26,000. Coming from the BIG CITY of Dallas, we felt like we were way out in the country, but it was where our grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins lived, so we suffered through!
The girls were ready to go when Dad honked the horn so from there I am relying on others' reports of what happened.
Seems like the first thing that happened was both girls slept for most of the way to Paris, which is just about a 2 hour drive.
When they woke up they had plenty of questions. The most important, of course, how long till we get there. From there they expanded to searching for cows, sheep, goats, and the ever present, road kill. Annabel had millions of questions about the cows and then shared a story that they had a cow one time in China that they cooked. Mom asked if I thought that was true, but I personally cannot remember seeing a cow in China, not in the city they lived in. Who knows! Grace knows they had a rabbit in her foster family, which I was told she enjoyed having. When I adopted her I asked about the rabbit. She thought it had died. I think it was probably dinner one night!
They went to church at a congregation that had lots of memories for us too. Our beloved minister, growing up, decided to relocate his family to Paris to that congregation. With that connection, we combined our youth groups for wonderful things like summer camp, Six Flags, friendships, etc. So when we were in Paris on a Sunday then we became part of their "group".
Someone made an announcement from the church about Camp Deer Run. This was the first camp we went to and the beginning of lots of fantastic memories of camp, making new friends, the bugs, swimming, the devotionals, so many important things. Grace asked her grandmother if they could go. I looked it up and it now costs $195 per child per week! Wow! I think when we went it was only about $25 per child.
I am just thrilled at knowing that my girls will get dressed up, go on this trip, visit a new church, and seem completely nonplussed by the whole thing.
After church, there was a visit to Uncle George's house to wait for the party to start. Annabel was not sure if she knew him but needed to know instead what time party start? We had tried to explain that Uncle George was Poppa's didi or little brother. I have a feeling there were tons of questions there too.
At the party, I'm glad to know they can now recognize some of their relatives but Annabel said they all had to kiss her, yuck! Her first question was why does everyone kiss so much.
They made themselves at home with all the "little kids".
When it was time to eat, Annabel found a delicious meal of crackers, only. Grace on the other hand found lots of everything she liked, sat down by my cousin and began engaging everyone in conversation. Annabel sat with Mom instead. They both enjoyed the cake.
See I need those pictures but will have to get them from Dad instead.
Pretty quickly they were on their way back home and Annabel slept most of the way back!
Overall they had a good time and spent time with relatives that we rarely see.
Last night the whole theme of the evening was preparing for the TAKS test. I think this test is just administered in Texas and about the only thing taught in the schools any more. If the students don't pass, the teachers are held accountable, so you can see why it is the focus of most of the teaching during the year. Thankfully for Annabel she is exempt due to her lack of English.
They both were up early and beginning preparation on a very FULL breakfast by the time I woke up. I am still having considerable pain at night and cannot get comfortable, but even worse is the heartburn. I'm eating only the most bland softest items on the list and small amounts but it still kills me at night.
Breakfast consisted of congee, bread (toast to everyone but Annabel), and fresh strawberries. I think we covered every food group with that meal!
Grace thinks she was the third one finished. Last year she got commended on the reading and I hope she does again!
Tonight we were the fortunate recipients of a great meal for the girls. The RECPTA people have been so good to us providing meals at important times. It was nice to give Mom and Dad a break tonight, but we crashed their meal thinking we would share the great lasagna, but Dad tricked us and Mom had made him a giant steak. There is NO getting away from us!
When the girls returned from Paris, I was anxious to hear their impressions of everything.
Paris, Texas is where we spent most weekends, holidays, birthdays growing up. If you are not familiar with it, it is almost on the Texas/Oklahoma border almost to Arkansas too, with a population of about 26,000. Coming from the BIG CITY of Dallas, we felt like we were way out in the country, but it was where our grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins lived, so we suffered through!
The girls were ready to go when Dad honked the horn so from there I am relying on others' reports of what happened.
Seems like the first thing that happened was both girls slept for most of the way to Paris, which is just about a 2 hour drive.
When they woke up they had plenty of questions. The most important, of course, how long till we get there. From there they expanded to searching for cows, sheep, goats, and the ever present, road kill. Annabel had millions of questions about the cows and then shared a story that they had a cow one time in China that they cooked. Mom asked if I thought that was true, but I personally cannot remember seeing a cow in China, not in the city they lived in. Who knows! Grace knows they had a rabbit in her foster family, which I was told she enjoyed having. When I adopted her I asked about the rabbit. She thought it had died. I think it was probably dinner one night!
They went to church at a congregation that had lots of memories for us too. Our beloved minister, growing up, decided to relocate his family to Paris to that congregation. With that connection, we combined our youth groups for wonderful things like summer camp, Six Flags, friendships, etc. So when we were in Paris on a Sunday then we became part of their "group".
Someone made an announcement from the church about Camp Deer Run. This was the first camp we went to and the beginning of lots of fantastic memories of camp, making new friends, the bugs, swimming, the devotionals, so many important things. Grace asked her grandmother if they could go. I looked it up and it now costs $195 per child per week! Wow! I think when we went it was only about $25 per child.
I am just thrilled at knowing that my girls will get dressed up, go on this trip, visit a new church, and seem completely nonplussed by the whole thing.
After church, there was a visit to Uncle George's house to wait for the party to start. Annabel was not sure if she knew him but needed to know instead what time party start? We had tried to explain that Uncle George was Poppa's didi or little brother. I have a feeling there were tons of questions there too.
At the party, I'm glad to know they can now recognize some of their relatives but Annabel said they all had to kiss her, yuck! Her first question was why does everyone kiss so much.
They made themselves at home with all the "little kids".
When it was time to eat, Annabel found a delicious meal of crackers, only. Grace on the other hand found lots of everything she liked, sat down by my cousin and began engaging everyone in conversation. Annabel sat with Mom instead. They both enjoyed the cake.
See I need those pictures but will have to get them from Dad instead.
Pretty quickly they were on their way back home and Annabel slept most of the way back!
Overall they had a good time and spent time with relatives that we rarely see.
Last night the whole theme of the evening was preparing for the TAKS test. I think this test is just administered in Texas and about the only thing taught in the schools any more. If the students don't pass, the teachers are held accountable, so you can see why it is the focus of most of the teaching during the year. Thankfully for Annabel she is exempt due to her lack of English.
They both were up early and beginning preparation on a very FULL breakfast by the time I woke up. I am still having considerable pain at night and cannot get comfortable, but even worse is the heartburn. I'm eating only the most bland softest items on the list and small amounts but it still kills me at night.
Breakfast consisted of congee, bread (toast to everyone but Annabel), and fresh strawberries. I think we covered every food group with that meal!
Grace thinks she was the third one finished. Last year she got commended on the reading and I hope she does again!
Tonight we were the fortunate recipients of a great meal for the girls. The RECPTA people have been so good to us providing meals at important times. It was nice to give Mom and Dad a break tonight, but we crashed their meal thinking we would share the great lasagna, but Dad tricked us and Mom had made him a giant steak. There is NO getting away from us!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Sunday and stories from Nanchang SWI
Here I sit, having my appropriate soft food, and trying to actually let myself heal.
You might wonder how I could do this type of thing?
Everyone else is in Paris, Texas today for my aunt's 87 birthday party!
But the most important thing so far today, she ran back to me for a hug before they left!!!
Last night we tried to explain who all the relatives that Annabel would meet today. Before we could get through one family, she was confused on the first ones. I tried showing her some pictures, but think it will be pretty funny Sorry that I could not be there. There are so few family get togethers any more, after feeling like there were SO many growing up.
Annabel has recently started telling me some really odd stories. It seems that she must have already told them to Grace and she urged her to tell me.
Before I adopted Grace, they moved her from her foster family back to the orphanage in preparation for the transition. When I would ask her about where she lived, she always called it the "hospital". I REALLY hate the word ORPHANAGE but wasn't sure what the children might have been told to call it.
Anyway, Annabel started telling me about when she was at the "hospital" and some of the people there. I wish I had recorded it so you could hear her explanation about a boy who walked like this (maybe a crutch? or a problem with his leg?) and how he had (finger made into gun and shoot in the head) a bunch of old people at the hospital. They would see him and everyone knew it but no one did anything. Then there was a pond with fish in it and that a LOT of people would walk into and drown, like they were in a deep sleep.
Last night she was explaining the meaning of a song that she had told Grace was VERY sad. There was something about a father who did not have a mouth, he could eat though, but ...I'm guessing he could not talk. The explanation of the song lasted just about the same amount of time it would take to perform most operas and I always get lost in these tales, but glad she wants to tell me.
I tried to find out if the stories from the "hospital" were things she had personally witnessed or been told. That was pretty scrambled too but know how imagination can make some of these stories really good.
You might wonder how I could do this type of thing?
Everyone else is in Paris, Texas today for my aunt's 87 birthday party!
But the most important thing so far today, she ran back to me for a hug before they left!!!
Last night we tried to explain who all the relatives that Annabel would meet today. Before we could get through one family, she was confused on the first ones. I tried showing her some pictures, but think it will be pretty funny Sorry that I could not be there. There are so few family get togethers any more, after feeling like there were SO many growing up.
Annabel has recently started telling me some really odd stories. It seems that she must have already told them to Grace and she urged her to tell me.
Before I adopted Grace, they moved her from her foster family back to the orphanage in preparation for the transition. When I would ask her about where she lived, she always called it the "hospital". I REALLY hate the word ORPHANAGE but wasn't sure what the children might have been told to call it.
Anyway, Annabel started telling me about when she was at the "hospital" and some of the people there. I wish I had recorded it so you could hear her explanation about a boy who walked like this (maybe a crutch? or a problem with his leg?) and how he had (finger made into gun and shoot in the head) a bunch of old people at the hospital. They would see him and everyone knew it but no one did anything. Then there was a pond with fish in it and that a LOT of people would walk into and drown, like they were in a deep sleep.
Last night she was explaining the meaning of a song that she had told Grace was VERY sad. There was something about a father who did not have a mouth, he could eat though, but ...I'm guessing he could not talk. The explanation of the song lasted just about the same amount of time it would take to perform most operas and I always get lost in these tales, but glad she wants to tell me.
I tried to find out if the stories from the "hospital" were things she had personally witnessed or been told. That was pretty scrambled too but know how imagination can make some of these stories really good.
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