Mom, can we talk?

Last night, Grace urged Annabel to come and talk to me.

While they had been playing, Annabel had opened up about some things that were bothering her.

She had lots of questions about the how and why of our family, maybe a clearer definition of each other's roles? She also knew and could recall each and every time I knew I would be losing "Mother of the Year" due to my ineffective parenting skills!

She began to open up about life in China. Sometimes it went so quick it was difficult to keep up with who she was talking about, but I think I understand.

And after 24 hours of thinking about it, I realize she was wanting to know why I did not act like her "moms" in China, although she had seen that I could.

Family life here does not consist of her being spanked or slapped daily, being required to take care of the younger children, older adults, etc. Here she does not have to wash her own clothes, cook her own food, go to school, and have tons of homework. She admitted that she rebelled against doing so much homework after cooking, cleaning, and caring for all the younger children. And the amount of homework was "huge". And if she did ANYTHING wrong she was hit.

She told me that when she moved to the "hospital" (which is the same thing that Grace always called the orphanage) that she refused to call her foster mother "mom".

I sat and listened quietly, asking a few questions to ensure that I understood. I tried to explain some of my actions and apologized for my failures. I told her I knew that I was not perfect and that I tried hard each day, but some days just did not turn out like I planned.

We also talked about how much we all had grown to know and understand each other, much more than we did in August.

I told her that it had been difficult at first but was so much better now.

Last night I thought about all the times that I had failed because she could remember each one, but I know that the reason she could remember each is because there have not been that many. That actually life here was SO different that instead of pointing a finger at me for my wrongdoing, I think she wanted assurance that it would be this way.

Our prayer together last night included each of us asking God to help us and to help me be a better mom each day and for us to be more aware of each other's feelings. And that my hair cut mmake my hair longer.

She let me kiss her good night. And again tonight.