Monday, January 26, 2009

Wàn Suì (long life) and the blurring of memories

Happy New Year! The Year of the Ox - Annabel's year!

Yesterday we went to Denton to visit the Chinese church again. It seemed appropriate in light of today being Chinese New Year's and knew that Annabel would enjoy it.

Grace asked me tonight if I ever got embarrassed any more. I told her rarely because if I was brave enough to stand up in a church full of people all speaking a different language and introduce myself, I decided little can ruffle me any more!

The girls' music teacher and her husband were in charge of the music and I enjoyed singing so many songs I have always known in English, with everyone else around me singing in Chinese. It was wonderful to see how God transcends all languages and there is no barrier in expressing your love to God.

The whole service was in Chinese except the preacher would switch from Chinese to English at times. He was comparing the difference in perversity and pervasiveness of sins. Very interesting.

They have lunch together afterward and I think this is my girls' favorite part! It is their one opportunity to have home made Chinese food and sit and visit with a wide variety of ages of people from China.

The music teacher's parents were visiting from Hong Kong and while her mother did not speak English, her father did and very well. I enjoyed visiting with her father and husband and they were very curious about Grace and Annabel's history and adoption. At the same time our conversation was taking place, a woman from the church came to meet the music teacher's mom. Everyone had mentioned that they looked similar and that had been my first impression as well. Her mother had "lost" her younger sister. I've read so many stories about life in China through the 40's - 60's and know that life was so hard that it was not unusual to "lose" a family member due to poverty, relocation, family issues, and deaths. I compared that to what might have happened to Annabel and Grace's birth parents and honestly explained that we would probably never know the circumstances surrounding their births and the decision to place their daughters available for adoption.

On our way home we stopped at an Asian market. They had the most fabulous produce section with so many fruits and vegetables that I have never seen! I've been to lots of Asian markets, but this surpassed anything I had ever seen. Annabel insisted that she had eaten a LOT of the things when she was in China.

We had invited Marcie and Drew for dinner for Chinese New Year's. Since not everyone likes Chinese food and the important dish is noodles to indicate long life, we had spaghetti!

We were running late from spending too much time at the market and company was coming soon, but I had also committed to opening my office space for a meeting with the community gardening group.

I ran out of here and locked the girls in with instructions on making the salad and dessert. But when I returned, they had made not only the salad and dessert, but also the pasta, set the table, and were reading for the next step!

We had a good time at dinner and I was so proud of what the girls had done.

One of the things that seems to be happening to Annabel is blurring the memories of what happened in China and what has happened here. I don't know whether to correct her or not. She told us about the time her foster mother said, "Annabel", which caused Grace to promptly remind her that her foster mother would not have called her Annabel. That stumped her. But then yesterday she told us about taking a shower in China and I know that was probably not very likely. She has told us other stories and placed them in China, but I know they happened here. I feel like she is trying her best to hold onto her previous life and I don't want her to lose it, I want it to be a melding of both, but I also understand how delicate her ego is right now too. I guess I will wait a while longer before having the whole "confrontation" on the truth.

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