Bah Humbug!

If you have a child who still does not want your affection, hugs, kisses, or holding hands, take them to a scary show!

You of course know that this was not done on purpose.

One of our money saving savvy moms had turned us on to the "pay what you can" performance at the Dallas Theater Center for The Christmas Carol.

I was a little suspicious and expected to be seated in the nosebleed section, but the box office lady was extremely nice and explained it was truly what you wanted (or for us could afford) to pay. She said as little as $1 per person. Now that's a bargain. Plus we were on the second row!

Annabel understood the concept of the theater now and she and I counted down the seconds until it began.

Innocently the story was introduced with beautiful costumes, musical numbers, and interesting characters. But suddenly it takes a dark turn as soon as Marley comes to visit.

It was done superbly with lots of lightening and thunder and smoke and then a bigger than life Marley appears.

By now Annabel is holding onto me like her life depended on it. At first I thought she was kind of kidding, but the tightness of the grip was comparable to the number of tears gathering.

But we weren't through being scared yet.

Just as the young Ebeneezer began to talk, a strange loud noise started.

Quickly the young actor was whisked off the stage and an announcement of an evacuation was made. Seems the amount of smoke, candles, fog gathered and did not disseminate as planned.

Now fire drills at school are something that really scares Annabel anyway, but here were adults in the middle of "scary" program all leaving VERY quickly!

There were enough tears to extinguish any fire.

After about 4 months together, this was the first time I had ever seen Annabel scared, much less to the point of tears.

I knew there was no way I could explain that it was just a play because once you are scared, it is REAL to you.

Grace on the other hand, was enjoying the play equal to the amount that Annabel was hating it.

So here I am with a 10 and 11 year old, one begging to go one way, the other the other way.

When the "all clear" was sounded, I agreed to let Grace go back into the theater and thought Annabel would agree pretty quickly.

But soon I realized she was not going to return to that theater.

I know I shouldn't have, but the production was SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD that I called and asked if Mom and Dad could come pick up Annabel. I quickly gave them directions but failed to give detailed directions since I had gotten so lost getting there too.

We began to wait, then I had us go outside and wait, and the whole time I am calling their cell phone and the house. After 45 minutes of waiting for what should have been a 15 minute drive, I assume the worst and just waiting on the sirens to begin wailing to retrieve them from a terrible accident.

They finally call to say they are giving up on finding us and going home! They had left their cell phone in haste, because when I told them about how scared Annabel was, they were quick to act.

They had another evacuation from the smoke, intermission, and maybe one more evacuation. It was finally down to where Ebeneezer sees the light and works to mend his ways.

Since the entire audience had to leave, we took advantage and returned for the last 10 minutes and the infamous "God bless us every one!" from Tiny Tim. I do have bruises from even that point.

While we are waiting on Grandmother/Grandfather, Annabel had us play games. We had to do a jumping/skipping thing on the steps. We danced with my scarf. We jumped rope with my scarf. We cut up the program for origami. She just amazes me how she can have a good time with NOTHING!

I know that it is not material things that my daughters need, other than clothes, shoes, etc, it is these life experiences they need. They need to find out that someone will stand by and protect them when they are scared. That grandparents will leave the warmth of their home and a first run Law and ORder to rescue you. They need to know I have confidence in their autonomy to watch a play by themself.

They need to see and interact with the different people these situations bring.

This is what will prepare them for the future and not just a bunch of toys.

When we got home, Grace and I had to take turns escorting Annabel through the house, even with the lights on. I had to lay at the foot of her bed and Nina had to endure being hugged so closely she almost passed out, but we had to stay until Annabel could feel safe enough to go to sleep.

This weekend had been difficult for me. I feel I am trying to maintain my self worth when those around are intent on destroying or at least chipping away at it.

At work we have these trainings for managers and recently the topic was the difference between leadership and management. I likened leadership to standing on the street corner providing hugs to every passerby, but management is what pays the bills and provides a home and food for my family. So while I continue to work to provide the management of my home, I pray for the strength to do the leadership that reinforces self worth.