A lot of memories this weekend

Halloween on a Friday is a mother's wish or at least this mother's wish. I know bedtime will be delayed and even more difficult with too many pieces of candy!

When I adopted Grace, we returned home on October 3 with only 28 days to Halloween. For this little 6 year old, she embraced everything about it. We went to Target and bought the first of many costumes for that year. I was so shocked at how much the costumes cost and guessing what she would like that I initially bought a fairy princess dress up outfit. She wore it to Mom and Dad's early the next morning to also meet Uncle George.

The problem with the dress up outfits is that they are made for really young children. It was too small for Grace and too cold that morning, but there wasn't enough Chinese or English between us to convince her of that. It even came with little plastic slippers. I still have to laugh to myself at the thought. I was so inexperienced as a mom that I didn't take extra clothes and I actually thought I could come up with a costume that was cheaper. I've learned a lot since then.

I was determined though that we would not be out on October 30 looking for costumes and thank goodness we weren't. Annabel loved her angel outfit and I think it had the feel of something soft and luxurious to her with the feather trim. She tried it on LOTS of times, swirling around, dancing, and looking at herself in the mirror. We got Grace's Cleopatra costume from a neighbor. She too wanted something "elegant" and this fit the bill. A long soft purple dress trimmed with gold netting sleeves, Wow! I really wanted her to find a devil costume but the humor was lost on them.

But when it comes down to it, the purpose of Halloween is the trick or treating. There is nothing in China that is comparable to Halloween, no holiday where you go door to door dressed in costume asking people for candy! I did with Annabel like I did with Grace and we practiced ringing the door bell, saying "trick or treat", and then the reward of candy. This probably teaches a number of lessons that requires psychological intervention later!!!

Halloween was Jana's favorite holiday (next to her birthday). It will always be hard to face Halloween without thinking of her, but it also provides lots of great memories. Marcie and Drew have come to my rescue starting last year by planning out our path to ensure the greatest haul.
So our weekend started with dinner at Grandmother/Grandfather's house before setting off with Marcie and Drew for trick or treating. Grandmother made a big pot of soup that included the addition of rice. She knows her girls!

But another important lesson I learned with Grace is that passing out the candy is almost as much fun as getting the candy. I promised not to answer the door while they were gone so we did not run out of candy.

When they returned, Annabel took 2 small chairs from the house, set them up on the sidewalk, and then proceeded to holler, "Happy Halloween" every few minutes. Each guest was rewarded with candy, but Grace has learned to mete it out slowly making it last a LONG time. There was a lot of discussion between the two of them on the appropriate amount to give.

Annabel was so excited about the whole thing and again reminded me of Grace her first year. She was so sad if a passing car did not deliver children to our door. She hooped and hollered and Grace could not believe that SHE had ever been that way.

Saturday we visited a new school for next year. Our new Colorado friend, Holly, suggested looking into an IB school, which is an International Baccalaureate school. This one looks great and seems to be very ethnically diverse. I believe they have about 1300 students with a waiting list of 1700. Obviously others have found it to be great as well.

Annabel was upset that she would have to change schools but it was nice to find someone who could explain in Chinese so she could understand.

Then there was a church party at some friends' house. Annabel was excited to go to Beth and Josh's house and I kept thinking she remembered going there. But we had not been since she came home. BUT when we got through she could not believe they had WATER in their back yard! Yes, the pool water was chilly but she and Grace got almost as wet as if they had been swimming.

Books were due at the library and the only one with children's Chinese books is downtown. Across the street from where we parked used to be a restaurant that I went to often with co-workers. That was in the 80's and such a whole world away. I have lost touch with those co-workers but think of them often. How different my life would be if I had remained on that job. Most needed to anesthesize themselves with smoking and drinking to get through the stress. I'm so glad I got out of that environment.

The downtown library is a magnet for those with no where else to be on Saturday afternoon. It is a delicate balance trying to teach the girls to be aware of their surroundings, stay close, but not be afraid just because someone is different. Grace's big concern about returning to China was seeing the people begging on the street. But I want to instill empathy, responsibility, and care/concern while keeping themselves safe.

This morning it was hard to explain daylight savings time ending, but I knew we would end up at Chinese school and hoped someone could explain it there. I mean it is difficult enough to explain to someone who speaks English! I think Annabel thought we were tricking her into missing Chinese school.

We visited a church that I thought would have a large Chinese population. It seems the only member was actually from Taiwan and we met her in the parking lot.

Four years ago when I first adopted Grace, Jana dragged all of us there because she saw they had ESL classes for people who speak Chinese.

What we didn't know then were the only people speaking Chinese were the older adults. The kids all speak English and trying to learn Chinese. Of course just the opposite for us. But they were thrilled to see a young child who spoke Chinese and I can remember how scared Grace was with all coming at her, pinching her cheek, speaking loud and quickly asking a ton of questions. We didn't go back until today and it has changed so much.

We are making a concerted effort to ride our bikes each night.

This brings a ton of memories for me. I am back riding the same streets in the same neighborhoods. I just wish I still had my sting ray with a banana seat. We expand our ride a little more each night and sometimes I think I will just have to walk home! Tonight we took a wrong turn and ended up on a dead end street and had to go through the alley. I broke a promise I made a LONG time ago, to never ride my bike through the alleys. My cousin Dubby and I got in trouble for it one times. We would cruise up and down like we owned the neighborhood, but when our mothers found out we were using the alleys as short cuts, we got in trouble.

The girls were watching a Disney movie and it was emphasizing the combining of 2 worlds. That is what it feels like we are doing. My old memories combining with my new life with my daughters.