Ages ago, Mom, Dad, Jana, and I took a trip to New York. I bought a T shirt with a Lichtensteinish cartoon of a woman saying, "oh my gosh, I forgot to have kids!" It was a perfect summation of my life at that point.
When my younger sister, Jana, and her family returned from China with my new niece Darcey, work kept me from meeting them at the airport. So as soon as they could, they came to Dallas to meet me. The only problem was that Darcey screamed and cried hysterically any time Jana came close to her. For those who are new to this, that is pretty common. It doesn't make sense since these babies have primarily been around only women all their lives, but for some reason prefer Baba (daddy) and her daddy had to stay home and work. Jana was exhausted and the crying had not stopped. I grabbed Darcey (playing the uncharted role of baby whisperer) and sent Jana to bed and Darcey and I retreated to the swing on the porch. Soon I was smitten. There was and still is something special in Darcey's eyes and in her spirit. She almost has an older person's spirit, kind, quiet, patient, and a caregiver.
Jana told me about a former co-worker who had also adopted. I was shocked as I knew she was single. I began to ask more questions and for the first time it dawned on me that I could be a mom even though I couldn't pick the right man to spend my life with.
I went to Hope Cottage and did not see the China adoption person, but instead someone who tried to convince me to adopt from India. As a last resort, she provided the phone number of CCAI (Chinese Children Adoption International) in Colorado. She told me they had a "waiting" child program, kids that had gone past being a baby, usually because of a special need, but were now determined to be adoptable. Wow, I thought! Even better! A child, not a baby. I'm single, how could I handle a baby? But a child, someone who would not wear diapers or take formula! That sounded perfect.
The connection was made and I was soon on my way to be matched wtih a waiting child. Although I had been sent some files before, none felt "right" until I opened up the file of Hong Hao Yuan Jie. There was something in that face that made me know we needed each other.
After 1 1/2 years of paper chasing I was getting close to traveling to China. About the same time, Jana and her girls moved in with me from Round Rock. It was a good training of what my life would soon become. One night, Jana busted open my bedroom door and yelled you have got to help me! Gillian had thrown up into the toddler bed with Darcey and both girls and both beds were covered with throw up!
It was fun living together, but Jana insisted they had to move when we finally got travel approval.
For those who have adopted from China you might be surprised at what happened next. There seemed to be some REAL concern on how Grace would handle the adoption. EVERYONE thought it was going to be bad. The only thing they could think might help was to bring a child close to Grace's age, someone who could show her how life was in a family, the important things like putting on pajamas at night, learning to play, interact, etc. Well Gillian fit the bill perfectly. Only Jana never would have agreed to send Gillian alone. So the money I had saved for mine and Grace's trip suddenly needed to be split 5 ways instead of 2.
What happened next had to be God sent. A friend at church began asking a lot of questions. She mentioned a friend might want to make a small donation. Just a matter of days before we left, this friend brought a gift from this mysterious benefactor, covering the majority of the outstanding expenses. I still don't know who this was, but if you read this, I still cannot thank you enough.
Tomorrow, our trip to China and why you should always pack apple juice.
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