People we have met.

Thursday morning while having breakfast we met a family who had returned with their 10 year old daughter for their first trip back to China. They were heading to the foster mother's home. Their daughter is the only other child I have met named Hong Hao, which is due to the Holt Agency providing support. They learn a lot of background on Grace's Chinese foster mother, as she has recommended her friend to become a foster mother, and she ended up being their daughter's.In fact Grace's foster mother had helped me locate this girl's foster mother. Grace took all this info very quietly.

Their guide is named Kathy, who works for Holt here in China. She knew Grace and Annie because both have at one time or another been sponsored by Holt. Small world.

At the swimming pool we met a new father, 12 month old son, who had just adopted 17 month old twin girls! Wow! That family grew in a hurry!

Another couple came by while we were swimming. The poor new mom looked exhausted and had new baby strapped on her front. She explained their daughter would not go near the daddy, screaming hysterically. She was not even able to take a shower. I told her that was very normal for them to prefer one or ther other. She seemed so relieved. I wish I could have babysat for her long enough to get some rest.

Actually I would like to have a baby sitter so I could get some shopping done. Wan Yun has quit being interested in buying clothes, so she has maybe 2 pairs pants/shorts? This morning she had nothing that would fit, as everything was dirty. She finally agreed on some striped shorts that were huge and Gillian's old Gattis Kinder Gator T shirt. We make such a motley crew!

We went to the People's Park tonight, which is so pretty, then ate at as local restaurant. The food was delicious. Guilan, the guide, ordered for us. She kept trying to get us some fish but they didn't have what she wanted. We finally settled on chicken. She asked if I minded it being the way the locals ate it. I must say I was not expecting the feet, beak, etc, sticking out of the bowl. Then the fish finally came and Wan Yun wanted the head! Oh my goodness! But the food was delicious! That and a vegetable, rice, and a huge sprite for 80 RMB, which is a little over $10!

I want to get some pictures posted before I fall asleep, so more later.

Who could ask for more than your first Barbie!

I started this post below, but have just been made to review very sobering documents. For those who have adopted from here it is not news. But to see not only in print, but certified and notarized about your new daughter's birth just leaves you with a sadness that is hard to describe.

On Tuesday we took care of the preparation of our official documents.

It was nothing new. New buildings, some faces the same.

But tonight Guilan delivered what had been processed and made me understand the gravity of the correctness of each word and number.

There is one document called the Abandonment Certificate. It states that a female baby was found outside a government office on 7/28/97. Her birth was set as 4 days earlier on 7/24/97.

The next paragraph states that inquiries were made for the next 2 months, but her natural parents could not be found. Therefore she is considered abandoned.

The next document is her birth certificate.

It simply states her name the orphanage gave her, the birth day they gave her, and says parents: unknown, place of birth: unknown.

I feel for these birth parents. I have no clue what motivated them to leave this tiny baby when she was only 4 days old.

I wonder if they still think about her on her birthday?

Was she the second child? Or did they want and need a boy? Were her parents so poor they simply could not afford to feed her?

You know it must have been desperation though. I cannot imagine a parent simply leaving a child without good circumstances.


She is such a spitfire I hope someday if she wants and it can be accomplished that she meets these parents to let them know she did survive. While she still may be my child with the multiple tattoes and piercings, I think she has the spirit to accomplish great things. To consider how hard her life has been in just 11 short years is unbearable to me. She believes her foster mother saved her life. That is at least the 3rd person who thinks they saved her life when she was about 2 years old. She evidently was extremely weak and dehydrated and while it may have been several humanns, I believe it was God who interceded on her behalf. So many of these children die, many without names, but she survived being abandoned, her first 2 years in the orphanage, a foster family, being removed from them and now to our home. Please pray that her soul can remain strong and open to the love from all of you.

OK, sorry, probably just jet lag.
Does anyone know if Sonic delivers? I need a Route 44 anything, just something really cold with a lot of crushed ice. Or Starbucks! Wow! An iced coffee or better yet an iced latte! Life can be so good.

Tomorrow morning I have to take pictures of the breakfasts these girls have been eating, so Grandmom will know what to prepare. Today's special was Lotus Root and tofu. Yummmm! They have taken the potatoes off the menu so I am down to a variety of toast and a croissant and some bacon with the strongest cup of coffee you have ever seen.

For lunch, noodles of course! We spread the blanket on the floor and they slurp those noodles like they are gourmet snacks. If Mom and Dad had not gotten me the 2 little cans of tuna, I would be gone by now. I can't remember to buy bread for a peanut butter sandwich.

For those who don't know us that well, are you seeing an important on food?

This morning we planned to go to the market. I wanted to get the most for the money people had given to buy things for the orphanage. When I saw the shoes and the condition of Wan Yun's feet and the problem we contend with for Grace, I decided shoes would be the best. They will deliver them soon and I will add a picture. I let her pick for her closest friends and bought some that were a little better. We tried to get a wide variety and before I knew it think we spent too much. Anyway, it is great to have Guilan with us as she got them to deliver them to our room rather than try to carry them all the way.

I tried my best to get Wan Yun to buy another outfit, but that was a lost cause. Especially after we bought some faux barbies.

I will add pictures later. Right now I am very hungry and since I am out of cash, we are going to eat downstairs where I can charge it to the room and pay with American Express later!

sorry about the joke

For those who were afraid I was taking the email about the lottery serious, my apologies. I know it is a scam, but at this point in the trip wishing it wasn't!

Too funny!

We took Lori's advice and went to the book store across from Wal Mart. Children's books are on the 5th floor, no elevator/escalator and no air conditioning!!

I know one thing that people who have adopted older children regret is not getting books in Chinese for their kids. It is very difficult to buy them at home and the choices are slim.

So we had a great time picking books to help Wan Yun maintain her Chinese, some picture books with English/Chinese to help her learn new words, and other activity/coloring books to have in the room.

I don't think we counted on this.

Grace is being subjected to a lesson on Chinese by Wan Yun reading each caption from a coloring book about The Lion King, Timon, and Pumba. She is like a drill sergeant to Grace, who has to repeat everything she says. I asked Grace if she knew what she was saying and she doesn't. But Wan Yun is relentless on getting through this very long book!

Grace is coloring in the meantime and I'm not sure if she is really learning anything!

Every now and then Wan Yun tells her "yeah", or no, no, no, then OK or good.

It has rained most of the afternoon which should have made it cooler and probably did, but we got so wet that we couldn't tell.

We spent the afternoon swimming in their indoor pool. Met a man whose family just received twins for their referral. Now have 3 children under 18 months old! Wow, I like my way much better.

Wan Yun did pretty good for her first time in the water and only took off her floaty once. It scared her pretty badly and she still doesn't trust me enough to believe I can carry or hold her. After that she stayed in her floaty. Grace on the other hand is like a dolphin, diving, swimming like she has done it all her life.

Then we met our guide and the destination was WAl Mart. But it took us for ever to get a taxi and then we were let off across the street and the underground crosswalk was flooded. I saw KFC and decided we needed to eat first. Got a bucket of chicken of unknown origin and we ate it all.

Then we still couldn't get across the street to Wal Mart because of the traffic and rain, so we ducked into the book store instead. Guilan felt like we had cut the day short, but we had lots of bags. There was a department store right there and I seem to have lost 2 watches to both girls. So we ducked in there, found a Swatch counter and bought them each a watch.

All of a sudden I looked at Grace and tears were streaming down her cheeks. She doesn't cry often and I could not get her to tell me what was wrong. I was in a panic that she was jealous, that I was spending more on Wan Yun, that someone had said something rude, I just crumbled inside. She promised to tell me when we got back to the room.

After a prolonged and sweaty cry, she finally admitted that seeing the stray dogs in China upset her. She started thinking about Nina and Ollie at home and just didn't know what would happen to the stray dogs in China.

Maybe we are just too tired tonight!

More later!

What in the world are they eating? And 2 sisters having more fun with a piece of string, rather than an expensive toy!

what's for dinner and what is left over!

World's fastest merry go round!

It's Official! Hong Wan Yun is now Annabel Wan Yun Locke

Guess what Mom and Dad? Your family officially grew today.


I keep getting distracted though. Grace and Wan Yun are in the shower together again and Grace is showing her how to wash her hair and I keep hearing Wan Yun say "Ow!" Last one was a big OWWWWWWWWWWWW! I don't know if I want to know what is going on.

Back to our story.

The young girl whose picture is in the slide show was a stand in guide until our regular one returned from South America. Guilan arrived last night around 9:00 pm and was back up with us ready to go. Wow! I would have slept all day.

We had the breakfast buffet and must say it was the funniest meal I have had until tonight's.

Grace and Wan Yun got this spaghetti looking stuff with a green vegetable in it for breakfast. Wan Yun ran back quickly and got a second full plate of it. Grace keeps picking things that are black in color to eat. Today's looked like black rice, bugs, coconut? Anyway she decided she did not like it. Wan Yun would not drink milk, but had a bowl of hot soy bean milk? I'm sitting there trying to eat a piece of toast and they are slurping strange foods and looking satisfied. The money on the buffet for me is a waste! The coffee today had to be from an Army coffee pot.

After breakfast we went to the Civil Affairs office to handle the official adoption documents. We met with the director of the SWI. Our guide, Guilan, had asked if we wanted to visit the orphanage that it now cost $1200, I don't know if that is US or RMB but would rather spend it on things we need. She asked if we wanted to meet Grace's foster mother. This has still been a HUGE issue for Grace. While she loved her dearly, the foster mother put a LOT of guilt on her, telling her she would die if she ever left. So I explained that I would like to meet her and give her pictures, but that Grace did not.

When we got to the Civil Affairs office Guilan was told that Grace's foster mother was very good. She spoiled her. This is not the story I was originally told. I was told she was going to be removed from that home regardless of whether she was adopted. So I don't know if 4 years have clouded everyone's memory or what?

I think Guilan has it set up for us to visit the group home that Wan Yun was in. I promised her we would take a cake and have a party. We will see. Wan Yun wants to see her foster mother. She has pictures and they appear to be a much older couple. One is of her foster father and she told the guide he was drunk! She keeps wanting to use the phone to call them, but Guilan has been very good at explaining that she is now my daughter and that the foster mother can see her, but she needs to get close to me. She will try to arrange it on Monday right before we leave.

I know the role of a foster mother is difficult, especially since these children live with them so long. But they are the "foster" parent only. I read someone else's post about they understood they had needs, but her responsibility is to her child. This is how I feel as well. For Grace it would be very traumatic to see her foster mother. If it was not, then she would have asked to see her and she knew I would support it.

I don't know as much about Wan Yun's background. She told the guide yesterday that she was removed from her foster home when she was going to be adopted. She has evidently stayed in touch with this family and because she is asking, I would want her to be able to tell them goodbye. She insists that is all she wants as she promised her foster mother she would.

There are still a lot of days in Nanchang, so we will see what happens.

After we did the Civil Affairs, we applied for her passport, and then to the Notary. Some felt familiar, others were completely new.

Paperwork done, we came back to the hotel for lunch, Jana style, tuna, macaroni and cheese, peanut butter and crackers. We had some workbooks for Wan Yun and gave her the addition one. She wouldn't stop until she completed the whole book!

This go fish game is so cute. Grace is practicing her Chinese, Wan Yun answers "go fish" like a seasoned veteran, and I am left out! I have to do hand signals and then I don't know who has what since the rest is in Chinese.

After that we took a break and had ice cream in the lobby. I think I spent way too much on that. I wish I could figure out a simple way of knowing how much I am spending. The rate if $1 to 6.75 RMB, so would I divide their price by 7? I think I am missing decimals and zeroes in all of my calculations, so I either have spent $500, $50, $5, or $00.05 for things! I really don't know.

We walked down the street, I keep looking for the man that James, our guide from 2004, took us to for wall hangings with the girls' names on them. We made it all the way to the grocery store. Grace is overwhelmed with me spending cash. It is much easier with a debit card. But she asks constantly how much something costs and since I can 't seem to do the math, I don't know. Either spent $20 on noodles, water, chopsticks, and blow up floaties, or $200! I don't think it was $200 and almost sure we didn't get a bag of stuff for $2. So I guess it was $20.

We got back to the room, had another snack of a pastry we bought at a bakery, played some more competitive go fish. Good thing it is not for money as I would be broke!

The girls are quite remarkable. Wan Yun is so much like Grace when I adopted her, wanting to lead the way places she has never been, easily excited (no wonder, right?), and open to everything. She throws her arms around us and gives us big hugs. She and Grace have opposite roles at the moment, but on the street she wants to be in charge of Grace and me, making sure we are where we should be.

Grace has shown more patience than Job and feels she is responsible for Wan Yun making a good impression. I will continue to work with Grace so she knows she is not the disciplinarian. Wan Yun says something that sounds like "Oh god" and I heard Grace tell her to never say that again! It is quite amusing for her to go through what Gillian did for her. But I am also having to be extremely vigilant on Grace being taken advantage of too.

Guilan arranged for us to go to the park this evening and walk around. It is really pretty. The girls only got to ride the carousel. I was ready to do all of them, but Guilan doesn't want me to spoil her. :) If we slowed down we drew a crowd, which I really wanted to avoid. They all try to make Grace speak to them and she just doesn't understand what is being said. Now she knows how Darcey felt last time.

We had dinner at a traditional Chinese restaurant where we had to pick the fish we would eat. I will just have to post the pictures. The girls started with chicken soup, which Guilan said had the "dark" meat in it. Ok, dark meat here is not the leg and thigh, it is the gizzard and stuff. They both loved it and I tried to talk Grace out of eating the nasty looking pieces but she thought it was delicious!

We had several courses and again I think the pictures will do it more justice. At the end, I think I paid less than for our ice cream earlier.

Wan Yun had nothing to wear tomorrow so afterward we went by the Jiangxi Hotel, where we stayed last time, on our way to a department store.

We walked through the dining room and I saw the table where we sat and had a similar meal with Jana and the girls. I couldn't help but cry and then Guilan felt terrible about taking me there.

We bought Wan Yun another outfit. Nothing I brought for her fits. Shades again of Grace. As much as she is eating I think she will catch up very quickly though.

I'm going to try to get some pictures in here quickly before I fall asleep. I can't thank Mom and Dad enough for buying us this camera. The only bad pictures have been as a result of the operator!

Sorry, pictures later, sleep now!

Forgot to tell another important detail and then I have to go back to sleep

I don't have to worry about money any more!

I got an email from someone in England who has been trying to find someone to help transfer funds to the US from their inheritance and they are going to give me a cut!

Too little sleep makes me punchy. Sorry!

Forgot an important detail

Every car and driver have come by our hotel and honked a friendly hello to us, at all hours of the day or night!

Grace being big sister to her big sister

Grace and Wan Yun are sharing a shower. Grace is showing her how to lather, rinse, repeat! It is too funny hearing Grace instruct her sister on how to do the basics. When Wan Yun first looked at the bathroom she told ShuWan, no thank you, she didn't like toilets like that. Preferred the squatty potties. I had her explain that's the only kind we have! Not the squatty potties, regular thrones!!

Grace and Wan Yun spent the rest of the afternoon playing a variety of games, play doh, making bead necklaces, and gave me a chance to try to get rid of my headache. Of all things I did not pack an advil or tylenol! Only advil pm.

We had dinner downstairs in the restaurant. A buffet of amazing treats to these 2. Fried crab was Wan Yun's favorite and the duck was Grace's. Good luck on getting Grandmom to prepare either. I'm not sure she had ever seen salt and pepper shakers and was just so amazed at them.

Everyone finished with mango pudding that was immediately labeled as too sour! Ice cream was a second choice. Toothpicks were used to become elephants and a variety of other animals.

Wan Yun knows her ABC's in English, counting to 10, counting to 100 in Chinese, which she did at the top of her lungs in the cab, then complained that her throat hurt.

Had to do a quick inspection of the famous Locke hair towel wrap up that has now been passed to Wan Yun.

If you notice I keep changing her name about it is because she has asked us to call her by her Chinese name, but Grace just keeps calling her Annie. Showed her how to spell it today and she copied it perfectly.

While they were in the shower I took a sneak peak into her backpack they sent with her. I thought I might find some extra somethings. Instead there are a couple of apples, 3 of which she had to wash and made us eat earlier (please don't let this stuff make me sick!) and a package of some nuts that really stink.

There are no clothes at all, no socks, no shoes, no underwear, no shorts, shirts, NOTHING!

I can't thank you enough to those who provided gifts of money to buy needed things. This poor child had nothing. I wonder what is going through her mind tonight being on a whirlwind of a whole new life. She was concerned that she should wash her pink dress. I will have to get the guide to explain that we will send it out to be laundered. No way am I tackling something like that in a sink.

I know Grace has to be exhausted from waking up at 3:00 so I am insisting on an early evening. Showers, then a movie, and lights out for them. Our regular guide, Guilan, will be here at 9:00 tonight to help with paperwork that needs to be completed.

Many of you know I received very stern warnings from several who told me to spend a lot of time with her before I decided to adopt because of problems from her past. I guess I would need a lot longer to see any significant problems. Her only problem seems to be a lack of long term love, guidance and family!

OK, size 12, way too big! New pajamas are falling off!

Thank you for your prayers and keep them up. If the rest of life could be as easy as today, we will be fine.

Our Big Day!

Ok, here are pictures! In the slideshow, that first picture is what Grace got for breakfast. I must say it was one of the most disgusting things I have seen!

But I guess you are more interested in our big day!

Grace and I tried to make the time go faster by playing different games, but Grace got more anxious every minute, asking every few seconds what time it was.

Finally the phone rang and ShuLan (?) our guide, said she was next door and asked if we were ready! The door bell rang while Grace and I scrambled for shoes.

You can't put into words finally seeing someone you have only known from pictures and your dreams and thoughts. But here stood this LITTLE girl with this beautiful pink ruffly dress smiling from ear to ear.

The woman who accompanied her was more interested in seeing Grace. She said she took care of her and was so surprised to see her and disappointed that Grace did not remember her. She felt like she was one of Grace's favorites.

We sat down and shared photos, she has many of her foster family, whom she misses a lot, and we showed her some pictures of our, now her family.

We talked for a while, played go fish, and then decided to go for a walk. We walked for 100 miles in record temperature and got to the cutest children's shop. She only wanted clothes that would match Grace. That was difficult since Grace didn't really want any of them. Got them both some t shirts, a new dress and swim suit for Annie, and some a skirt for her.

We made it to McDonalds where she had her first happy meal. Made the mistake of thinking every child would like french fries. They gave them orange juice and Annie said it was sour. Oh my goodness, had to laugh so loud on that since anything that Grace doesn't like is sour.

Then we caught a taxi to a department store as she needed shoes desperately. Hers were worn out. Found some sandals and tennis shoes for her then went to the toy department for markers, play doh, beads for necklaces, and pencil boxes.

She asked the guide if she could take a bath, but she did not have any other clothes to put on. We reminded her that we just bought her some and you could see a light go off!

I believe she has had a much rougher life than anyone knows. She has some bad scars on her legs and told the guide that she was hit by a motor bike. Her feet have the largest bunions I have ever seen on a child. She is tiny compared to Grace. Grace is thrilled being the teacher and if she copies Grace, Grace loves it!

More later. Migraine from the heat. Thank goodness it has been record breaking heat today! Wouldn't want to miss this :).


Here is a picture of Grace and Wan Yun at McDonalds. She decided quickly that she did not like french fries.

we have lift off

more later! played a competitive go fish, can't find camera. going for walk and lunch.

Counting Down in Texas

Lucky Jerri - I'm taking over her blog while she's away! ;) Those of us on this side of the world are counting down the hours until Annabel. It's noon-thirty here in the great state of Texas so that means it's 1:30 am tomorrow in China. 8.5 hours until Annabel. After so very long, it's mere hours until Jerri and Grace meet their new daughter/sister. Wow! So exciting, so scary, so everything!

Sending prayers and good wishes from home...XOXO Hema Lisa (that's Chinese for Aunt!)

In Nanchang

OK, jet lag pills did not work. Laid down at 4:00 pm for 30 minute nap. Woke up at 11:30 pm. Ooops! Not how you handle jet lag! I didn't get the adapter for my laptop battery and it's going down. Oh my!

More later! meet Annabel at 10:00 a.m. Monday morning.

Thank goodness for Advil PM and Benadryl!

For someone who doesn't understand how TV works, this really blows my mind!

8:21 a.m. Sunday morning, Hong Kong airport! When we touched down after 14 hours at 5:?? a.m., they announced you could turn on your cell phones. I thought, why not? Mine immediately updated my emails! I mean I am on a runway halfway around the world and my email finds me!

By the time we ever left Dallas, I think we felt we were world travelers! It just seemed so foreign to be setting off on this type of excursion by ourselves.

When we landed in LA, after a very educational flight for Grace, I had a glimpse into the past of Jana, Gillian, Darcey, Grace, and I are the last leg of our journey home, waiting hours for our red eye flight. I'm not sure if it was the same terminal but seemed so familiar. Sorry, very tired and a bit melancholy at this point.

God must look down and send angels to guide us through our journeys. I'm not sure if that is scriptural, but how do you explain finding 2 seats together by a woman who took such a kind interest in Grace that she told about meeting one of the astronauts, explained jet stream, discussed pros and cons of being a vet, both pet doctor and military person. She pointed out sights in LA as we touched down. Grace was so animated and loved every minute of the flight.

Grace kind of freaks out each time we go through security, removing shoes, digging through our things, etc. I tried to delay it as long as I could to go through the international terminal, but it ended up the worst. Long lines, no air circulating. Then horrors, her bag was pulled from the scanner. They went through her personals (at 10 a very big issue) and confiscated her toothpaste and hand lotion from her cousin Marcie. I wanted to cry for her. She was so devastated to lose it after it had passed in DFW. She wants me to pay Marcie back since they were new.

We flew overseas on Cathay Pacific. Our first time to try it and first impressions were horrible. They had one tiny, cramped area for their gate. You had to find your seat number to get into a line to get on. Once you did that - you are put out onto the tarmac where you catch an extended bus that makes you think of the trains in Tokyo, so crowded and no other group believes in deodorant! The wildest bus ride I have ever had. Going around the runways. Felt like I was on the bus from Speed!

Finally stop and climb on the plane.

We are stuck in the 2 middle seats of a plane with 3 seats, 4 in the middle and then 3 more. We had the very 2 in the middle in the middle of a huge block of seats. An older man had taken up residence on the aisle and would not budge for us to climb over him. He began to take off articles of clothing, shoes, socks, feet propped up on the back of the other seat and adjusting other items. I looked at the flight attendant with fear in my eyes and begged for us to be moved. I was willing to do whatever it took to get us out of those seats!

Again, we were blessed and the flight attendant motioned for us to come with him. There were 3 seats by the galley, just for us. Thank you Lord! You might think I am overly dramatic on this point, but I am so claustrophobic anyway, I would have to be treated for an anxiety attack if I was squashed in the middle!

At 2:20 A.M. Dallas time, Grace finally crashed. Right before dinner was served.

Some slight adjustments and she was out for a long time.

But when you have 14 hours, you can sleep for a long time, but still have a long time to go!

When she woke up her last meal had been a half a hamburger back in Dallas. But she is such a trooper and wouldn't admit she was hungry. Cathay Pacific though had cups of noodles, sandwiches, and other snacks, so we didn't go hungry.

My sleep felt like sitting in a classroom or church, the whole broken neck syndrome! If you have a child laying across the 3 seats, it doesn't leave you with much room to relax!

Sometime during the flight I think it finally hit me what we are doing and again felt panic! Adding Grace to my life was initially such a huge change, but I think I continued to focus on me and how I was reacting to it. But when ou have been blessed by such a wonderful daughter as Grace you feel that anything is possible. The huge difference she has made in all of our lives makes the shift from me to "we".

Thank you all for your prayers. We still have about 2 hours before we can board the flight from Hong Kong to Nanchang and if possible will close my eyes. You can purchase time in a lounge that provides food, Internet, showers, for $53 US for adults, and 26.50 for kids. VERY TEMPTING! Instead we are on nubby orange chairs with the world circling around us, all with steaming bowls of noodles being enjoyed!

Thank you each for your prayers, emails, gifts, so many great things. Will update when I can.
Jerri

They're Off!

Jerri and Grace are halfway to Los Angeles on the first leg of their journey to China. After a couple of hours in LA they'll be boarding their flight to Hong Kong - 14 straight hours. We're all so excited!!

If you read Jerri's last post you'll know she couldn't decide whether to sleep or to pack. I'm not sure what she did, but I do know those suitcases were empty this morning. ;) However, she was remarkably calm and in control. (she'll really appreciate me saying all this) I made it my job to make sure she had their passports and money. Anything else was gravy.

After dropping off Nina and Ollie at Petropolitan - a very cool doggie daycare and boarding facility downtown, we all hopped in the super van and took off to the airport. These two had MEGA baggage! Naturally they were taking lots of stuff to donate to the orphanage so they had three bags to check plus two rollie bags, two backpacks, and one purse. One of the bags weighed 64 lbs! Ouch! The people at American Airlines were so kind. After hearing us talk about where they were going and what the bag contained, they didn't charge Jerri for the overage. Nice people!

So, now we're in wait mode. They'll call us from LA and then start that long trip over the water while we sleep. We know they'll be carried safely on the wings of many prayers.

One day closer to Annabel. :)

Written by Grace and Annabel's Aunt Lisa

Which is more important? Packing or Sleep?

I know I need to be in bed but I am so afraid I am forgetting something important. I have all kinds of check lists, but I can't make everything fit into the bags the way I want them to.

Everyone has warned me that I would be charged for all the extra bags, but I just checked American Airlines website and they say for connecting international flights there is no charge. That makes it a lot easier. I was trying to fit 2 or 3 suitcases into one to avoid penalties. Now I can pack like a reasonable person, check most of it and not worry about it. I'm not sure how strict they are about a purse, a backpack, and a carry on bag. I know I asked for your votes, but I feel like the Estelle Getty character from Golden Girls and can't go without a purse! Bless her heart, I saw where she passed away this week.

I have to say huge thanks to so many who have been there to help with last minutes choices, crises, decisions, and other help. If I start to name everyone than I know I will leave someone out.

But I have to say a special thank you to my co-workers, Gloria and Audrey. It is always difficult for me to be off from work. But with them in charge, I can leave without a worry. They handle things better than I could ever! Thank you guys for listening, praying, caring, and providing so many things I needed on this trip.

Maybe more later, but I have to go to bed!

Oh yeah, we at least had a good send off meal at Golden Corral! I shouldn't eat again for days!

Happy Birthday Annabel!

Today you are 11 years old. I wonder if you even realize it is your birthday? I know that Chinese tradition is that everyone turns a year older on Chinese New Years, but wonder if anyone in your group home will plan something special for you today?

Your birthdays here will usually consist of your grandmother making your favorite meal or we will go out to eat at your favorite restaurant. I wonder if Chuck E Cheese will be your favorite? My friend Patti gave us some passes. We can try it out. We try to celebrate on the closest Sunday to your birthday so your Aunt Martha and Uncle Mark and cousins Emily, Marcie, and her husband Drew can all celebrate too. Oh and of course there will be presents.

Your cousin Gillian's birthday was Tuesday. She is also 11 so she is still the oldest! She and Darcey and your Aunt Lisa are coming today to tell us goodbye.

My ever on top of things new friend Holly found you in a couple of pictures from Holt in a story about your recent adventure to the mountains. I am glad you got to have such a great adventure. When I read the story to Grace she was caught up in the fact that you got to see peacocks. I thought the monkeys were most interesting.

Somehow I can't get the pictures or the links to work right. I will have to try something else later.

But I have to warn you that even if you are up early and trying to write something sweet you can get distracted easily!

The dogs decided they needed to go out just as the water sprinkler came on. Ollie has tried without success for a while now to show them who is boss but has continued to fail. He looks like he has had a bath this morning! It is pretty funny unless you are a neighbor trying to sleep and don't like a dog barking like crazy!

I got several things off my list yesterday:
Cleaned out the refrigerator - Yuck! I don't think I recognized most of the food in there!
Got prescriptions refilled.
Got toenails done!

OK, it felt like more than that at the time.

Mom and Dad took care of a big one for us though: a new camera! Somehow I had never moved into the 21st century and bought a digital camera. I've bought plenty of disposable ones but never really satisfied with the pictures, if I remembered to get them developed. They bought just the right one, not too big and not too small. Can take a million pictures before needing to be recharged! maybe not that many.

One more day and we are on our way.

Yes, we are on our way because very kind people like Flo from Congressman Pete Sessions' office has made the calls to ensure that our paperwork made it from Oklahoma City all the way to Guangzhou! Thanks Flo! And you too Pete! I worked for Pete a long time ago before he was in Congress. He kindly wrote me a letter of referral to leave SWBT and go to graduate school. We had worked together on a parade for returning soldiers from Desert Storm. What great fun to throw confetti off the buildings in downtown Dallas!

I often wonder how different my life would have been if I had stayed at SWBT and never pursued working with people with disabilities and then on to older adults. I think I would have weighed about 500 pounds and smoked by now! That was a stressful job. Plus I don't think I ever would have adopted Grace and now Annabel.

One more kink in our trip to China

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

—Romans 5:3-5

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

—James 1:2-4

We have received word that our paperwork did not make the trip from the US to Guangzhou, even though we all have records showing that it did.

I have called on several helping me contact our congress people to petition on our behalf to correct this situation.

It requires that someone from one office take the initiative to fax to another. Seems simple in my mind, but must be more complex.

Hope to have a much better update later.

I need some votes! And what makes a house a home?

I put a poll on the side over there. All of a sudden we are trying to change the way we want to spell Anabel's name. Should it be Annabel or Anabel? My mom's middle name is AnnaLee, so it does seem like it should be Annabel. I think I was just trying to make it as easy as possible and did Anabel. And the harder questions for me :) is whether to take a purse or a backpack or both! See I am really quite simple in what can throw me!

We have had a lot happen in the last eight months. I am very glad that I have not been physically preparing as the birth mom on top of all the others things that have happened. Let's see, we put down one dog, adopted two, sold one house, bought another, and moved! It makes me tired just thinking about it.

Last night Grace and Dad put together the second bed and a table to set the TV on. They have gotten really good at this.

When my sister moved to Dallas and their initial short visit with me, they moved into a TINY duplex that had only 1 closet. Their home in Round Rock probably had over 3000 sq ft., but they made it work.

My parents have lived in the same house since I was a baby. They must have looked at a hundred houses they thought they might want to buy while we were growing up. But Mom loves that house and none of the others could replace "home'.

So they still live in the house we grew up in. The neighborhood has changed so much during the years. Slowly the older people on the block passed away and were replaced, but most houses are still identified by their original owners' names. The last house to change was the house next door. Here lived an older woman and her son.

I think about her running out of the house yelling at us to get off their grass. There were 4 of us and I feel certain she had to yell it often. In high school we got "papered" several times, with tons of toilet paper hanging from our trees. When the wind blew a tiny piece in to her yard, she ran out, grabbed it, and called us "fools, crazy people".

She passed away and then it was just him. He began to accumulate cats, sometimes 40 at a time. Dad hates cats especially since they used his flower beds as giant kitty litter boxes.

In the last few years, his health began to decline. He no longer used electricity. I can't remember if gas and water were still on. But during this decline he suddenly had no one to care for him.

After all these years of animosity towards us, my Dad, being the great Christian man that he is, stepped in and began to provide care. He made sure he took his medicine, had something to eat, took him to the hospital, visited him there. He finally in desperation called in help. Then visited him often in the nursing home, made sure the state appointed attorney took care of his last wishes.

But then the house next door was vacant and about to be put on the market. Now Dad is no dummy either and bought the house. He and my sister were going to re-do it.

For weeks I couldn't stand to even go in the house because of the horrible smells.

Dad and Jana worked tirelessly to provide a better home for she and the girls. The place was stacked from floor to ceiling with stuff. I was seeing first hand what I had only heard about working with older people. This man still had the newspaper from when JFK was shot. The ceilings were falling down and the floors were coming up and there were stacks and stacks of stuff in between. They hauled tons of trash out. Mom got in there scrubbing every surface. The people at church pitched in. Cabinets full of the nastiness that comes from neglect were torn down and new ones put up. The house began to hum with activity. And it was finally ready. Jana and the girls made it a showplace. Jana was always quite talented in decorating. It became a home.

She loved to entertain and had everyone for Father's Day at her house. The irony of us celebrating our Dad in the house where so much bitterness toward all of us had existed showed what love and hard work can do.

I guess that is a good analogy to adoption sometimes too.

When my sister passed away, we had to force ourselves to come back into the house that had been their home. Chip and the girls packed up their most beloved treasures and moved them back to the big house in Round Rock.

Then the house sat quiet.

It became an albatross and could not be avoided when you drove into my parent's driveway. They saw it from their bedroom, their porch, even the bathroom window.

My older sister was sure that I should move in, after all I was adding another family member. It would be perfect.

I tried to find someone else to buy it. I couldn't imagine living in the house that held so many memories.

I tried to find another house for us to buy. Something larger, maybe big enough for Mom and Dad too.

I finally came to realize that the house I was trying to find was right there, next door to Mom and Dad, my sister's home.

We moved in December after changing some of the floor plan to help erase the bad memories. We moved in with boxes of stuff that was left that wouldn't make the trip to their other home. We added our boxes of stuff to their boxes of stuff and at times it felt like it was reverting to the neighbor's life, hoarding with only tiny passageways through the rooms!

But progress has finally been made and the bedroom I had envisioned for the girls to share is coming together. Their new matching beds will replace the bed bought by an old friend. New ways to store toys, books, and clothes have been found. The countdown is on and we are working frantically to ensure that when we return our attention can be on our family and our home.

We are once again making sure this house is a home!

Kindness and hard work

Recently Gillian, Grace, and Darcey sold lemonade and juice boxes to raise money to purchase much needed items for the children at the Nanchang SWI. They surpassed all expectations and raised $320! Can you believe it? Special thanks go to wonderful people, Dearyl and Jean for their generous gift.

Tonight I packed a suitcase that shows the kindness of so many. Gloria donated beautiful baby clothes that little Lukas outgrew before he could wear out. Two Jeans from work provided toothbrushes and toothpaste and the other made lots of cute hats to provide warmth when the weather turns colder. Our friend Laura, paid extra to ship some incredibly beautiful yarn and knitting books overnight to ensure we had them in time to pack.

Today we met some of our FCC friends who had worked to make 20 nice bags of personal toiletries to share at the orphanage. I know Anabel and Grace will love to share these with special friends there.

I'm already behind on thank you notes from friends who have helped provide funds for special items for Anabel and to help us with other expenses.

And a special thank you for these pictures of Anabel from a visit to the SWI last August by another adoptive mom.

Some way overdue updates!

We were in Houston and Grace was sitting on the bed, giant pink furry, jeweled headphones on, listening to Camp Rock, watching Sponge Bob, and I opened this email from a service in China:
Hong Wan Yun knows she is going to be adopted. She is very excited and looking forward to the day you come. We just found out that she has a 10 year old sister. She likes to ice-skating and ride bicycle. She knows her family is coming for her soon. She likes her American name. she doesn’t know much about her future family, only knows she is going to US. She wants to learn swimming. She can swim a little. She knows she will have a forever family, and the family loves her very much. Her best friend’s name is Hong LI Rong. She won’t be adopted because of her age. Hong Wan Yun’s updated measurements: Height: 130.5cm ; Weight: 28kg ; Foot: 21cm .

I have attached two pictures of her. Please let me know if you can’t open them. She is so beautiful!!!

Have a wonderful day!

Blessings,

Angela

5 Days to China!

Mark 36 He took a little child and had him stand among them. Taking him in his arms, he said to them, 37"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."

I cannot believe that after all the hurrying up that we are this close. Grace and I say back and forth, I can't wait to go to China. She can't wait to meet her sister.

It is beginning to sink in for Grace too, to return to your homeland, her birthplace, where we think her foster mother still lives, and where a big part of her future waits.

It will also be the end of a family of two and learning to share, to adjust, to compromise. Grace is concerned about how that will work.

I asked her to promise that she will come home with me from China. She will always be my first daughter, though not my oldest. You can see where that could be confusing.

I tried to explain and finally decided that colors would be one way to describe the changes. The two of us are blue, not sad, but the brightness of the sky blue, and when Gillian and Darcey were here, they were red. The first couple of days we were still red and blue, but after about the third day we fell into a routine and our world became purple. But when they left, it took a while, but we became blue again.

Some additions are more subtle, like the people we see each day. And so each day our world is sprinkled with the colors of all these different people.

But with Anabel, it will be different because this is a permanent change. So if she is yellow, then it might take a long time for us to become green. But that's ok, we can work on it together.

So then she decided she is not sure if she likes change. But if we had stayed in bed all day, then she never would have helped her Poppa put her new bed together and now she has learned how to use a screw driver and a power screw driver. An accomplishment she is very proud.

We talked about compromise and maybe Anabel will want her to play a game she doesn't want to play, but if she plays then, maybe the next time she will choose.

Then we end it with our prayer and say again that we can't wait to go to China! She can't wait to get a sister!

Houston, Texas - home of the only federal passport office in the area, as well as the Chinese Consulate

We got started on Thursday later than we wanted. What a shock! And immediately started remembering what all we forgot! We dropped the dogs off at Petropolitan. I think it is the Ritz Carlton of doggie day care places. A lot of people take their dogs there each day so they aren't alone! I can't imagine having that much money!

Sorry, back to my story.

Grace immediately fell asleep.

She sits with her legs crossed in the seat and bends at the waist with her head down and falls asleep. It makes my whole body hurt to thing about!

Ok, keep getting sidetracked. I am again going with very little sleep. I feel like I am jet lagged and only been 4 hours south! What will I do in China?

I've gotten into a bad cycle of not being able to sleep at night thinking of all I need to do, then not feeling like doing it the next day from lack of sleep!

Before we left Dad asked if I wanted to borrow his GPS. YES! I have driven to Houston so many times in the last 4 years and spend most of my time LOST! I can mapquest, google, and yahoo maps in Houston, I can ask directions, follow the signs, it just doesn't seem to matter. The GPS practically spit us out into the lobby when we got there! So much less stressful.

I had to tell Grace the story again about how her Aunt Jana put an open can of diet coke on the conveyor belt for the x ray machine. I wanted to ask the guards if they remembered her since we stopped the traffic for a long time for them to dry it out! Her excuse? They said to put everything on there!

Grace was concerned about why they would make you go through security. Then why the employees were behind glass. I thought it was for germ protection. The woman corrected me and explained it was bullet proof glass. Grace decided the process must make people pretty angry. Oh yes!

We were an hour and a half early for our appointment, but I had called their automated system for an earlier appointment and didn't think it would be a problem. I hoped we could get through and dash to the Visa office and get everything applied for on the same day.

The letter I received said I needed to prove our relationship. So I took the adoption certificate. Chinese documents are quite large and a lot of pages because there are usually pages of translations too. This woman wanted her birth certificate, which shows very little except her date of birth. The rest of the spaces are filled with the word "unknown". She decided to accept what I brought and told us to have a seat.

So for the next hour and 45 minutes we sat and waited. They finally called her name. Another person was looking at the documents. Asked a few questions, then told us to come back at 2:00 (it was 1:45!). We at least took a break to the car for a snack and drinks. We had breakfast on the road at 9:00 and it had been a long time since. No food or drinks are allowed, no video games, no cell phones. A little boy with his family waiting, took out a bottle of water. The guard was there immediately making them put it up. Then the man's phone rang and he answered it. Again the guard pounced on him. I obviously do not have a devious enough mind to know how either could pose a threat.

When the finally called our name, the man handed Grace her passport and said "Now you are a United States citizen". I shook my head and said no, she already was one. Now she has a passport. It seemed quite arrogant of him to bestow citizenship on my daughter who was lawfully a citizen on 10/2/04 when we landed in the US from China.

Grace is very proud of her passport. Hers is very colorful and full of images of historical events and places. Mine is just plain paper.

Back to the car, figured out how to program the GPS and headed to the Chinese Consulate. They quit taking visa applications at 3:00 and it was 2:40.

Re programmed the GPS and headed to the hotel.

That's another thing about Houston. The map looked like we could walk from downtown to the hotel and to the Chinese Consulate. They were MILES apart.

Grace is so funny about hotels. She LOVES them. I think starting your life as a family in a hotel room makes it difficult to adjust to home life where there isn't someone to make your bed, do the dishes, etc. I think she wishes we could live Zack and Cody's life from the Disney show.

She would have been satisfied sitting there, calling out for pizza, and nothing else!

But we were too close to the Galleria to skip shopping. Besides I had promised her a new swimsuit all summer and the much needed swimsuit coverup.

They actually charge you to park at the Galleria! Unless you go to the underground parking which is dark and has very few signs! I think I burned a gallon of gas just trying to manuever a parking place. Of course we were on the opposite end of the mall from Limited Too, but enjoyed looking as we went.

Mission accomplished and more! I got matching pajamas for the girls. I am not sure how big Anabel will be but guessed.

We looked everywhere for Grandmother and GiGi birthday presents. I completely forgot that it will be Anabel's birthday next Thursday. Not sure how we will handle it since everything in her life will be new seems redundant to buy something else. But maybe we will get her the MP3 player or Nintendo or something special to be for her birthday.

We were going to make a quick trip to Target and $100 later and 4 big bags, we were through :). I HATE Target! I can never leave with just the items on my list! Grace found comforters that she likes much better than what we bought, so now we need to take the others back.

While at Target we bought Tostitos and a can of bean dip. My poor baby had never had bean dip. I explained they are a student's dinner some nights.

We had a quick swim, ate some chips and bean dip and called it a night. Only I decided I HAD to go through all our paperwork again. I wonder if all adoptive parents obsess over these mounds of paperwork?

The next morning, thanks to the GPS, my new best friend, we found the Chinese Consulate without a single missed turn.

We were there before they opened. Only this time instead of everyone rushing in when the doors open, they now take you one at a time through a metal detector.

This was all a little, no a LOT odd. The guard looked like Libyan leader, Gaddafi and every single person set off the detector. He waved them through anyway! When it was our turn, he wanted proof of a hotel reservation. Our agency hasn't sent this yet and he shook his head NO. Then I started explaining it was for an adoption. He immediately smiled and waved us through.

At the information window, same thing, no hotel, no visa. I explained it was for an adoption. I had 2 bags with ALL our documents in them. I started going through files to find proof or our adoption. She took a few of the papers and agreed. Told us to be back at 2:30.

While waiting to ask a question there was a woman dropping off applications and picking up others. Don't know why I asked, but asked if she was doing it for adoptions. She said yes. It was the woman I have emailed for the last 2 weeks. She had never received them. I wonder where my emails are going? Spamworld?

Anyway, breakfast at Le Peep was a nice change from McDonalds. I believe that Grace must be related genetically to us after watching her work for 30 minutes in getting her pancake just right. My brother does the same or he used to. He has to have his food just right before he can start eating. She loves when she is told she is like someone else in the family. I had asked the manager for strawberry syrup as she likes it on her pancakes and eggs. GROSS! I hate eggs and then to smother them in red sugary stuff can turn my stomach in a minute. They didn't have any, so she went back to putting the butter just right on her pancake. In a minute, he came back with a bowl of "homemade" strawberry syrup, fresh strawberries, sugar, cooked down. That was SO nice.

Back to the hotel for a quick swim, packing, and check out.

Then back to the Chinese Consulate to get the final link to ensure we can go AND come home.

Yea! Everything was ready! We are on our way!

The man behind me was getting their visa to go for the Olympics. Their daughter is competing in the platform dive for the 3rd time! Wow! She only started when she was 15. Now at 30 going for the 3rd time.

The trip home was thankfully uneventful as Grace slept most of the way. I could have as well.

We picked up the dogs right as they closed. They had them in their own private suite with toys, steps to look out the window for some good barks, and choice of beds.

Thank you Lord for a safe trip!

We are back home!

We are home again with passports and visas in hand. Wow! Somehow this trip just wasn't going to feel right if we didn't have a little drama to it! It was hard at times to go through the same actions I did almost 4 years ago to adopt Grace. Only that time I had Jana, Gillian, and Darcey with me. Grace is good company on a trip and enjoys all of it, except waiting at government offices. On our way home, caught in Houston traffice at 3:00 (how do people put up with it?) anyway I glanced over and saw a sign for JT's Autos or some like that. My older sister, Lisa, is forever seeing things that she feels are Jana. That was mine. Jana always signed her name JT! I felt like she was there in spirit at least.

We made it home just in time for dinner out for mom's birthday. I was sorry to be gone for most of the day, but as always Mom is ok with it. Just glad we made it safe.

Mom is not too thrilled any time I go on one of these adventures.

I don't remember whether she was that way when we were younger, but rarely did we head off to the unknown. Although at 18 I took my college money I had earned and went to work with our church in Scotland instead.

But after I had brain surgery when I was 23, I think the mortality and fragility of life hit.

We had a discussion this week on us leaving for China. I know having lost one daughter makes things even more difficult, but believe all of us have quite a bit of Mom in us.

When she and Dad decided to get married, my grandmother (her mom) cried and begged and pleaded for her not to go. Grandmother refused to attend the wedding and instead stayed in the bedroom crying as Mom and Dad left.

But Mom was determined!

Thank goodness or else there would be no story!

They celebrated 58 years on June 29. I know my grandmother is somewhere saying she still doesn't think it will work! I am sure they seemed like an odd couple at the time with Dad being 6'5" and Mom 5'2". She took him from her good friend! She needed someone to make sure her children would not be short! I'm guessing there was a lot more to it than that. But Mom was from the big city of Paris, had a good job, nice things, etc. Dad was from the country. I'm not sure if he even had a job when they married, but had 30 some odd their first year of marriage. Just couldn't quite get the hang of it I guess, working for "the man"!

Speas Vinegar factory was right at the edge of Paris and I used to love the smell of it when we drove by. Dad had a very short work stint there. When the supervisor came out and told him he had done the work wrong, trimming the hedges, cutting the grass, can't remember the details now, Dad told him if he could do it better then why didn't he? You know, that was the end of that job!

I think I will end this here and add a different post about Houston.

VERY short update

Got Passport
Tomorrow Visas
Need Sleep

New friends

I have to take just a quick minute to tell about new friends.

One of the best parts of adopting is meeting all the other wonderful people who have also adopted. I know many just through email as they are from all over the world.

One of those is Lori from Colorado. She was in Nanchang just before we were there to adopt Grace and we shared the same guide and many stories about adjustment to "home" life afterward.

Lori has always been so quick and kind to answer any of my emails sharing knowledge she has gained from adopting an older child.

Lori had a friend Holly who also went to Nanchang to adopt.

Holly actually met our Anabel when she was there last August! She has provided me with so much information that I needed to hear and so many cute pictures. I will post then later. Holly made it all the way through my blog in one night providing wonderful comments and scriptures along the way.

Another "friend" are the members of RECPTA. This is the early childhood PTA for our school. My mother was a member when we were kids. If you needed to know the size of a gnat to purchase it a business suit made in Holland of materials from South America, I believe someone in that group would know how to do it. I have never met a more resourceful group. These are the wonderful women who took care of our family after Jana passed away. They provided so many meals that I will always be indebted to them.

Our FCC group is another. This is the Families with Children from China. They are always there providing information, support, and friendship.

Thank you all for all the ways you have helped.
Jerri

New friends

I have to take just a quick minute to tell about new friends.

One of the best parts of adopting

First picture I received of Anabel and then one from later

Starting the coundown!

Our house seems very quiet tonight, Gillian and Darcey went home. Grace and I don't seem to know what to do with ourselves. Gillian has such a creative imagination. They played Harry Potter with their Barbies. Gillian has always called them "games". They start a new game, which means they start at a different place in their story. While they were here Gillian baked 2 kinds of brownies, 2 cakes, made cookies, and doggie treats, that's in addition to all the meals she helped prepare. We had frozen pizza tonight since our chef left.

It is just a little over 11 days until we leave. I started packing a suitcase for Anabel, going through stacks of hand me downs from Grace determining what to take and what to leave here. I know we will end up buying her new clothes there, but want to take her 2 outfits to get started. One thing I still need to buy though are some pajamas and underwear. Grace has a tendency to wear them out.

Marcie took the toiletry bags to fill with all the girly girl stuff both girls will need! Thank you Marcie!

I turned in my paperwork for FMLA leave from work. I know if it is like last time though, I was even handling business issues in China.

Grace and I have new shoes and haircuts and she and her sister have matching carry on bags and backpacks.

We have several bags of toothbrushes and toothpaste that people have sent.

I might actually be ahead of schedule IF .... Grace only had a passport and we had visas. I am trying my best to avoid a quick trip to Houston. More later.

How much can one person doubt themself?

This has been my week that I needed, I don't know, sometimes a shoulder to cry on, sometimes a kick in the head, and sometimes an extra pair of hands.

I received an email from a woman who saw me post on a yahoo group for parents adopting older children from China. The majority of the posts are direct reflections of our life, adjustment periods, problems in school, siblings, how many thousand band aids these kids use, etc. But this woman was one who had been active in helping some of the orphanages in the early 90's, when Westerners were first allowed to visit. She told me she was shocked that they had decided to allow Hong Wan Yun, soon to be Anabel, to be adopted. She thought she had been placed with the foster family for life. She also mentioned her medical problems as a big issues in not allowing her to be adopted.

Then I began to doubt my ability to make a good decision.

This led me to a lot of other people's blogs. There I found blog after blog, where prayers were answered and financial help was provided.

Then I began to doubt my faith.

Then I began to read everything I could on the medical problems listed.

Then I began to doubt everything.

Then I had to get very quiet one night and as I lay on my 1/8 of my bed ( 5/8 taken up by Darcey, 2/8 by Gillian) I could hear more clearly the reason I started this process.

When I adopted Grace I had never mothered anyone, I had only been the teacher or the aunt. She too had medical problems listed. We have worked through almost all of those with no huge problems. She is as fit as the next person.

I did not have all the money last time. I wasn't even sure where it would come from. I just knew I needed to get to China to adopt this child and that I needed Jana and her daughters to go with me. I was going to put it on my credit card and pay it out. Whatever it took.

Then I received such a wonderful gift that wasn't required.

I also did not go into adoption with the expectations of a bio mom. This was a child who had LOTS of life experiences before becoming my daughter. She would bring those with her, good and bad. We have had our rough spots, but there has never even been the slightest hint of doubt in my mind that I did the right thing.

I know this one will be harder. How can it not be? A 10 year old is much different than a 6 year old. And Anabel has had a lot MORE life experiences. For Grace they have made her who she is, someone I am very proud of. The love of our family, the faith of our church, her devotion to God have all made her into a "favorite" for many people. Maybe that's not the way it will be with Anabel. Maybe I will end up with the social outcast, the multi-pierced, multi tattooed rebel child.

What I know for sure is that I don't know the future. I don't know where I will get the money to get to China and all the expenses there. I will put it on my credit card and pay it out. Maybe I've bought my last new pair of shoes for a while. I don't know.

All I know is that Grace needs a sister. This child needs a family. She has been let down so many times, I hope she will want to be part of ours. I know that love can cure a lot, but fair discipline, boundaries, hope, and promise also are needed.

i know God will provide for us. Grace has asked how I know I won't die like Jana did. I don't, but I think He would have taken me long before now. He had lots of opportunities.

I will continue to ask for your prayers. You praying on our behalf will provide all of us with the shelter of God's love. And forgiveness!

What makes a memory?

After our regular Sunday morning service we joined our Spanish speaking sister congregation for a celebration of 7 years in our old church building. The first time we returned to our old church, the memories were overwhelming. You could visualize all the people who were now gone, you saw new people in someone's pew, where they had probably sat for 50+ years, religiously, whether rain or shine. You remembered weddings, funerals, Vacation Bible Schools, baptisms, our family growing up, expanding, new family members. A lot of life happened in that building. I guess that is why Mom has never wanted to sell their house. They have lived there for 50+ years.

But time doesn't stand still and things have to change.

This time returning to our old church, I felt happiness for those who have made it their church home, for them to have memories of weddings, funerals, baptisms, new children, the circle of life continues with or without us.

The last two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions, at times a complete nose dive.

I think for the first time that Gillian and Darcey and even me have begun to mourn Jana's passing. Even typing that still brings tears.

I have felt indignant that God let her die. I shared that with Mom, the quiet sage in our family. She said He did not take her until she was gone. That her heart gave out, but God was there to take her home.

My sister Jana, that I keep referring to who made the trip with me to China to adopt Grace, died very suddenly on 11/11/2006. Most Saturdays she worked and if she was off, she took the girls to Round Rock so they could maintain a relationship with their father. This was a rare Saturday for them to be home.

I believe she must have talked to each family member for various reasons that morning. We talked about how excited she was to finally get into substitute teaching at our daughters' school. The orientation was scheduled for Monday.

She went down the hall to see if the girls were ready to go to McDonalds and collapsed before reaching the door. We don't know if she had any warning. There was no evidence that she did anything but stop right there.

Her daughters thought she had fallen and hit her head. They ran outside for Dad. He came in and two men working on his chimney followed. When he saw she was non responsive he called 911. They told him to do nothing, he could cause further injury from the fall. Somewhere in there he called us and said come quick, Jana has fallen and hurt herself. When we got here the paramedics were here. I came running in and Dad met me and said I think she is gone. What??? From a fall? No way.

You see on TV how someone pushes past the cops and paramedics, I see myself doing the same, running to her and there being no life left in her. Why? What happened? How can this be? Try everything, why are you just standing there? Trying to get the paramedics to do what they do best. They revive older people, why can't they her? And all they can do is shake their head, glance down, or offer a hug.

The girls have been sent next door in the confusion. I tell them their mother has died. Gillian screams, Darcey starts crying, Grace is in shock. I don't even know what to do. How do you comfort such young children that the person who loved them most in this world is suddenly gone? Gillian feels guilty, if she had brushed her teeth when her mother said, she wouldn't have fallen. Darcey, who has had so many mothers, loses another. Does she feel responsible? Then Grace tells me it is exactly how she felt when she lost her Chinese foster mother. What? I am so shocked by that statement it takes a long time to comprehend what she has told me.

The rest is a blur.

Jana and I had a relationship that at times could get really difficult. She had been the youngest and still remembered being picked on, left out, making friends on her own. Lisa and I were so close in age, as soon as Lisa did something, I always followed her. Mark, well he was a boy. He didn't get it!

Lisa and Mark both got married the same year. I was still trying to recover from brain surgery and all the complications that continued to come up. Jana and I found a more equal place then. We shared an apartment for only 6 months in Duncanville, trying to make it closer for her to go to UTA and me to teach in Round Rock. We took a lot of trips together. When she married Chip, I moved out of my apartment so she could rent it and I moved to Denton to go to school. I went to see them in Yuma several times. Chip would call when he was so worried about Jana and the effects of the fertility treatments.

We had argued, one of the worst, earlier in the year. She was very opposed to me adopting again. She continued to tell me that I did not understand how much harder 2 would be. At the same time she told me that she and Chip planned to reunite. She had served him divorce papers, but out of respect mailed them to him, rather than a process server delivering them. He never got around to signing them. Now he wanted to try again and she was willing.

The fight interfered with our family trip to Port Aransas, we could barely speak to each other, one as hard headed as the other. But somewhere in the next few months we got past it. Even though we both had very strong opinions, we decided to respect the other for what they thought was best in their life.

I'm so glad we did.

We are finally going to China, 2 weeks from today/yesterday?

To update you on our trip!

My emails to the contact at Gladney finally went through when he was in Khatmandu (?), rather than in Nepal. The very fact that my written words reached someone in a city I have only heard about still amazes me!

Anyway, I finally got an email that he felt like the itinerary we planned was fine. So I emailed my travel agent, but got no response. I emailed a courier service in Houston about processing Grace's passport and our visas, with no response, so I still don't know much.

I tried to make an appointment to go to Houston for Monday morning at 8:30. Seemed that would be a good time, but then I remembered you had to have proof of your trip to get an appointment. I really don't have the time to travel to Houston, but if the courier is too expensive I don't see where I have a choice.

When I was waiting to adopt Grace, the adoption agency, her orphanage, and their China contact all urged me to send packages to her, letters, pictures, etc. I sent them often. I was sure we were bonding long distance I think. I guess I treated it like she was off at camp and would expect a care package ever week or so. I had no idea she was not receiving the packages, only some of the pictures.

This time there has not been an opportunity to send stuff ahead of time. They did not want me to send things until I received my LOA (letter of approval to adopt Hong Wan Yun), which was just within the last month. I've found a group that will call the orphanage and get an update on size, etc., as well as ask her some questions. You can also send a care package by them. I did get this taken care of today, but can't figure out how to post my pictures for them to print and share with her.

Right now the plans are for us to leave Friday, July 25, late evening, at LA via American Airlines. From LA to Hong Kong via Cathay Pacific arrive Sunday morning, then a Chinese equivalent to Southwest airlines from Hong Kong to Nanchang, which is where Hong Wan Yun is and where Grace is from.

We wanted to stay at the new Galactic Peace Hotel, but the guide had already made reservations for us at the Gloria Plaza because they will give her a room right next door to us. That way I have a 24 hour a day translator on duty. This makes me feel much better about everything.

I think I need to do this!

"If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self esteem first and the house later.
I'd finger paint more and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing seriously and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less nagging.
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power...And more about the power of love." Diane Loomans

In limbo, passports, Sprinkles, and good friends

We are officially in limbo and it is not a good place to be right now. I cannot rush Grace's passport through until we have an official itinerary. I can't get an official itinerary until my agency approves my travel arrangements, I can't even start thinking about a visa until we have the passport and the travel arrangements. So we are at one of those points where you hurry up to wait, wait on people to answer their emails, wait on the post office to deliver the documentation the passport people have now decided they needed, and the sweet girl trying to make the reservations keeps warning me that fares will probably go up and she will only be able to hold them for a short time.

Last night I couldn't even make a decision what airline to fly. I looked at the numbers and the departure and arrival times until they all blended together. I knew someone could surely help me out on picking the best airline. I finally called Josh. Josh told me last time that he could never get the prices on this type of trip that those who specialize in adoption travel could, but I knew he has been all over the place and would have an opinion on airlines.

But first I have to tell you how Josh saved us right after we returned from China with Grace.

I was driving from our other hospital, Methodist Charlton, when I got a phone call from Josh, which was surprising because he wanted to know if I was at home yet. No, still in my car, about 15 minutes away.

Now Josh and Beth, his dear wife whom I have known since we were kids, live in the neighborhood. Josh was home sick with a cold, full of cold medicine, drifting in and out of that NyQuil kind of sleep, when he heard someone try his door. He got up and the guy made excuses and ran off. Josh tries to return to Lala land, but something is bothering him about how the guy reacted. So Josh, running at least 103 temperature :), gets up and starts cruising the neighborhood looking for this guy. Josh is a travel agent, not a policeman. He sees the car in front of my house, with the trunk open, guys shoving my TV into the trunk, 2 others with hands full of stuff, realizes what is going on, so he jumps out of his car and starts chasing them. They throw the stuff down and when they scale a fence, he decides to chase the getaway car. He followed them for miles, calling the police, my dad, and anyone else he could think of.

These guys had to be nuts. We had deadbolt locks, a security system, and a big dog. Yet here is Josh out chasing them on foot and then in the car, in his cold medicine fog! If he had not shown up when he did, I am sure the loss would have been much greater!

Since it happened only a month after we got home, there wasn't a lot of English communication going on with Grace, but I wanted her to feel safe in her new home. Dad and a friend of his had to come over and nail the door shut since they had ripped the molding and door jamb off.

At least with these older house, you had lots of doors to choose from, so I just kind of told her we were trying out a new door. That was fine, but boy did she miss the TV!

Back to the present. I called Josh, gave him our choices of Northwest, Continental, United, or Cathay Pacific. Quick and easy choice for him: Cathay Pacific. The cost is a little more, but the schedule works out for us much better, putting us in Nanchang at a reasonable hour. Thanks Josh for helping with that decision.

I also got an email from our friend Laura today. Laura was one of the first of many Moms I have met who adopted from China. One of the best benefits, that was totally unexpected, about adopting from China, is all the fantastic people you meet. When we tried to start a playgroup, Laura responded immediately. She always made it fun to get the girls together. Today at just the right time I got an email from her. When she heard about my dilemmas, she immediately started trying to help from 300 miles away!

At least I got a few things marked off my list of things to do. Grace and I got hair cuts (my mom says mine looks rather butch. Not exactly the look I was going for!). I just get so hot and knew it would be hotter in China, that I had Tina whack it all off.

We got Grace some new tennis shoes and went to the Container Store. But my Hague Training says kids need a snack about every 2 hours. Well, since we were at Preston and Northwest Highway, there was only one choice of snacks: a Sprinkles cupcake! I really didn't know you could have too much of a good thing, but one of those is too much!

My brochure about the Container Store's travel sale expired on Sunday. Oh well, at least they had some of the things we needed still on sale. Now who sat down one day and thought, Mmmm, I think people will be $100s of dollars just to buy something to contain something in. I believe they even had containers to hold containers! I'm a big fan of Space Saver Bags, especially since I have a ton of clothes I am taking to the orphanage and needed something to hold all of our important documents in one place. Last time, Jana and I split up the cash. For those who don't know, you have to take several thousand dollars in cash, $100 dollar bills that do not have tears, marks, or folds. I had mine in a money belt that was not really comfortable to wear. So after a while I took it off and shoved it into the pocket of the seat in front of me. Jana found it when I went to the restroom and from then on relieved me of the duty to carry anything important!

This has been one of those days when no matter how much you are looking forward, you can't help but continue to look back. It's so difficult to plan something that Jana had been so actively involved in before. It is even more difficult to have her girls with me and that big void that she always filled. I want to tell her something funny one of them said or how Gillian reminds me of her at that age. I want her to be here to put her imprint on them, not some substitute. Even though it goes against everything I have ever been taught, I truly cannot imagine Jana being happy in heaven, without her girls.